He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."
"I didn’t get pulled over or anything, it's just that I got to work 20 minutes early."
Sorry, that was just a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d joke.
It makes me feel sheepish.
It’s owner could not believe the weird bleats the sheep was making,
so he asked out loud sheepishly in frustration:
“what the hell was that!?”
“You herd me” - the sheep replied.
It was time for the prom at Klondike High School and Tim's friends were desperately trying to convince him to go. He considered it, but was very self-conscious of the fact that he had had an accident as a young child that caused him to lose his eye, and the best his family could afford was to buy him a wooden eye. After several days of goading, Tim finally decides to go.
Sally was in a similar situation. Her friends desperately wanted her to go prom with them, but she was recently in a car accident and lost her right leg. She had a prosthetic, but it was very uncomfortable, so she had a hard time walking. Reluctantly, she agreed to go.
It was the night of the prom and both Tim and Sally were getting all gussied up with their friends. They both make it to the prom, but when they arrive, they are both too nervous to dance. Tim's friends notice Sally sitting on the wall and say to him, "Look over there! There's a cute girl who's all alone and needs a partner to dance with. Why don't you go over there and ask her to dance?" After some further convincing, Tim sheepishly begins to walk over to Sally to ask her. As he approaches her, he getes nervous, and awkwardly stands in front of her for a few seconds before saying, "Wuh...wuh...would you like to dance with me?"
Excitedly, Sally exclaims, "Would I? Would I?"
Tim responds angrily, "PEG LEG! PEG LEG!"
He was a little bit sheepish.
I said "Son you're just feeling sheepish"
Bah-dum tssssssss
Provolone. Made it up. What cheese gets to go to heaven?
An art critic was judging paintings at an event.
The first one was a bland painting of the earth. not too bad, but nothing out of this world.
The second one was a blank painting. Why they even turned it it, don’t ask.
The third one though. The third one was a beautifully crafted painting of a sheep.
The art critic turned to the artist. All they had to say was, “Wow, I am wooly astonished. The shear amount of detail of this art ewe made, which definitely lambs you into first place. This might be way pasture standards, but too baaad, don’t be sheepish. This piece definitely separates the sheep from the goats, it will definitely farm you some moo-lah.
A shhhhhhh-eep.
You thought I was going to say sheepish, didn’t you?
I said, "you're a groan man! Don't be sheepish--ewe can handle it."
He walked away with a spring in his step.
The tailor picked them up, raised an eyebrow, and asked: "Euripides?"
Sheepishly, the customer nodded and replied, "Eumenides?"
(Background: at this point in time my family had chickens on the property and my husband liked them.)
Husband: *playing with chickens*
Me: Honey, how many times do I have to tell you to not play with your food? *smiles sheepishly*
Husband: (hubby.exe processing) we are so getting married.
Dad: Check this out, memory foam pillows.
Me: How are they? I was thinking of getting some for myself.
Dad: They are pretty terrible...
Me: How so?
Dad: I still can't remember where I left my car keys.
ಠ_ಠ
A Smashing Pumpkins track started playing. (Mayonnaise)
My dad perked up and said he liked it. I told him it was on the same album as "Disarm".
He paused for a moment before sheepishly smiling and said "Disarm, or dat arm?"
Thanks for the laugh this morning, dad.
You know, up until the point where he started getting sheepish.
Backstory: Many years ago I was living on my own about 45 minutes away from my parents. I had a stable job but didn't make much money and was broke most of the time. I had an old beat up car that was my only form of transportation. I would always have mechanical issues with the car and finally one morning it decided it wouldn't start no matter what.
I sheepishly had to call in to work and explain the situation and let them know that I would have to take a sick day but would figure some way to get to work the next day. I called my dad and he offered to come pick the car up on his trailer and take it back to his garage to work on it and get it in shape to trade it in.
He drives to my apartment, we get the car on the trailer and we are headed back to his house. The whole ride there I'm pretty pissed off and depressed about the whole situation. I'm worried about finding a new car and how I'm going to afford it and what I'm gonna do if I can't get it running again.
Dad senses my mood and pretty much keeps quiet the whole time. We get about three blocks away from his house and he utters this gem.
"Man, this car won't get off my ass. He's been tailgating me for 45 minutes now."
This was the perfect thing to snap me out of my funk and break the tension. I absolutely lost it. Only a Dad Joke could make me realize how trivial the whole thing was. I have told this joke to others who didn't really think it was that funny, but to me at the time it was the greatest thing ever.
Thanks Dad.
I was buying Goat Simulator as a gag gift for a friend. The cashier looks at it and I smile uncomfortably. He says, "Don't be sheepish about buying this".
Explaining to her during bedtime snuggle that I'm about to make it so her bed is much higher than her little brother's...
Her- "oh like a junk bed?" Me- "no silly, it's a bunk bed" Her- "oh yeah (sheepishly), bunk bed" Snuggle a bit more Her- "do you know why it's called a bunk bed daddy?" Me- "no" Her- "because it's so high when you sit up you "bunk" your head on the ceiling" Me- hugs her tightly
Her: I'll make the lamb today, I need to put some clothes on anyway.
Me: You need to wear clothes in front of the lamb? Feeling a little sheepish?
Me: Bye dad Dad: I'll see you when I'm looking at you
He then proceeds to smile sheepishly
