I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.

Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Did you know that Shakespeare wasn't just an amazing playwright? He also made exceptional wigs!

His shop name? Toupee or Not Toupee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearinthegarden14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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We successfully went back in time and got Isaac Newton and Shakespeare to complete each other's research

Now my high school kid wants me to remind him of Newton's 3rd law of emotion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award

I was voted most likely To.Be

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Shakespeare's Pencil

The British Museum has a display that holds a pencil that belonged to Shakespeare...

Unfortunately it's so chewed up that they can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgtrekker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Shakespeare, learning mandarin

ζˆ‘ is me

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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What did the man say when he's was looking for Shakespeare's apartment?

2B or not 2B? That is the question.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/indierockmathnerd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Shakespeare

Two friends walk into a bookstore After bying 23 pens 2 balloons and a pipeline One of them goes to the till Suddenly he remembers

  • John do you want a pencil?
  • Yes
  • 2B or not 2B?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bscilion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Why did Shakespeare only write in ink ?

Pencils posed a problem, 2B or not 2B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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What do you call a camel reciting Shakespeare?

A drama-dery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmartass1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Better than Shakespeare

I dig You dig We dig He dig She dig They dig It's not a great poem but it's deep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/y0natan10
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I told my wife we couldn't get a hound like she wanted because I couldn't watch Shakespeare.

I'm worried he would think to bay or not to bay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1_good_dad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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Shakespeare
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ares3247
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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Why wouldn’t the barman serve Shakespeare?

Because he was bard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PositiveCunt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I heard Shakespeare had a play about accommodation

It is called Hotello

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Oedon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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I went to a bookstore and asked the guy, β€œDo you have any books by Shakespeare?”

Guy: Of course sir. Which one?

Me: William.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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I just discovered William Shakespeare owned the first video game console.

A Midsummer Night's Dreamcast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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What does Shakespeare call his omelet?

A Hamlet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teng0Down
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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β€ͺDo you guys remember when Shakespeare was trying to remember if his friend lived in 2B or not 2B?

The embarrassing thing is he was in the wrong hamlet. ‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Did you know Shakespeare was indecisive about the vitamins he took?

B2 or not B2, that was the question.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the lettering’s all faded.

I’m not sure whether it’s 2B or not 2B.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthew2112
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Shakespeare goes into a McDonald's...

And orders a Macbeth....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackStonerZ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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A Dad walks into a bookstore and says, β€œ Can I have a book by Shakespeare?” β€œOf course, sir, which one?”

Dad: William.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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What did Shakespeare order when he went to McDonalds?

Mac Beth

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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Have you seen Shakespeare’s β€œThe Pun”?

It’s a play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flappybobjoe
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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Happy bday Shakespeare!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ingrahamlincoln
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Apparently one of Shakespeares pencils was recently discovered

Apparently he chewed it so much that they couldn’t tell whether it was 2B or not 2B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaammyy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Which is heavier, the collected works of Shakespeare or a prison full of inmates?

The prose outweighs the cons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ukuleleemusic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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Shakespeare's "all the world's a stage was an inside joke

Because he literally had a theater built for his plays called the Globe theater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nrgdragon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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What kind of galaxy would Shakespeare live in?

A bard spiral.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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How would Shakespeare decide what type of pen he would use to write a poem?

2B or not 2B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fawwazSH
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Why did Shakespeare use quills to write?

Because pencils confused him. 2B or not 2B, that was his question.

//stolen off facebook//

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ppoong
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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What does a Shakespeare character do when they’re dirty?

They take a macbath

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McMudbun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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I walked into a bookshop and said to the girl behind the counter, "I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare."

"Which one?" she asked.

I replied, "William."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
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Shakespeare and Monkeys

We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare.

Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingGod07770
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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What did Shakespeare say when he finished writing his first rap song?

My quill made it

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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Shakespeare was hired by a theater to tend patrons' horses...

How did Shakespeare learn all about his new employer?

During its onbarding process.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mookmerkin
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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I have a pencil that was owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 391
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Someone own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now he can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I walked into a bookstore and asked an employee β€œDo you have any books by Shakespeare?”

Employee: Of course sir. Which one?

Me: William.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.

But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.

But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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I went to the bookstore and asked an employee, β€œDo you have anything by Shakespeare?”

He said, β€œOf course. Which one?”

Me: β€œWilliam.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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William Shakespeare was deciding what pencil to use

2B or not 2B

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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I went to a bookstore and asked, β€œExcuse me, do you have a book by Shakespeare?”

Bookstore guy: Of course, sir. Which one?

Me: William.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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I found a really chewed up pencil that was apparently once owned by William Shakespeare

I could not tell if it was 2B or not 2B...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonBran
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
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I went to the bookstore and asked the guy, β€œ Excuse me, do you have a book by Shakespeare?”

The guy said, β€œOf course. Which one?”

Me: William.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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