Self Criticism Puns

Hello

I am a self taught web developer and I have been on this journey for about a year and a half now. I have much to learn but I believe I do have some valuable skills to be able to potential get some work. My intention was to switch careers, I now finished my portfolio and made 2 huge projects that took me a few months to make. This was all from scratch, no templates, no copies, no tutorials, just me, a cup of coffee and stack overflow. I am sending out my resume for job applications now and started recently diving into data structures and algorithms. Any feedback is welcome, I genuinely want to improve, whatever ideas or critics you have, i value them. Below is a link to my GitHub and my website.

Portfolio

Github

Thank you for your time and have a great day !

The following is a post I've found incredibly helpful from the blog of therapist Jon Frederickson: https://www.facebook.com/DynamicPsychotherapy/posts/self-criticism-is-how-i-motivate-myselfwhat-if-someone-regrets-his-behavior-and-/559552520787112/

This idea that you need “a kick in the pants”, that “self-criticism motivates me”, that “self-criticism gives me energy”, is something the superego says. (For more on the superego, this video by therapist Patricia Coughlin is helpful.) Only a superego would say you need a “kick in the pants.” Only a superego finds criticizing you motivating. Only a superego gets energized by criticizing you. These are just lies we have gotten used to telling ourselves.

Every patient I have spoken to who says self-criticism gives energy and motivation lacks energy and motivation to go toward his or her goals. Most of their energy goes into self-attack instead of goal directed behavior. Obviously, if self-criticism and self-attack really were energizing and motivating, these patients would not be in my office. Think of you and me. If we attacked ourselves very energetically for several hours, we would still be at the same place in the woods. We would still not have retraced our steps to get on the right path. What motivates us is not fear of our next self-inflicted verbal lashing. What motivates us is the desire to reach our goal. Self-criticism and self-attack are a waste of energy.

This does not mean that there is no place for self-criticism, but healthy self-criticism is very different from the neurotic self-hatred that masquerades as self-criticism in the therapist’s office. In my work, for instance, I gain a great deal by reviewing my videotapes to see where I made mistakes, where I could have made a different choice, where I could have said something more effective. That self-review of what was useful or not helps me make better choices in the following sessions. “Oh. I took the wrong fork in the road there. Thank heavens I see that now. Ok. Next time, I’ll take the other fork. Done.” I see a mistake. I see the better choice. Now I know what to do. That is healthy self-criticism.

Neurotic self-hate that masquerades as “self-criticism” is chronic rather than time limited. Healthy self-criticism finds a mistake for the purpose of finding a right answer to do better the next time. Once you see the mistake and the right way to go, you drop the mistake and do the right

Yes Shopify has “many great people working there for you and your shop. Like UI, UX, marketing.”

But all of that has been created prior to any of us signing up.

All they have today is a cookie cutter business with customer service support.

They’ve also made it dummy proof as much as possible which seems to be why everyone is talking about it and why it’s so attractive.

They basically created every tool imaginable for this single business model. Instead of the FREE Ezusy Dropshipping tool they use Oberlo. Some use the AliDropship plugin.

They use paid shipping tools when XPS Ship is FREE with real up to date shipping rates.

It’s basically the same thing across all these tools. They do the same thing with the same objective.

But in my opinion Shopify is too overpriced. Of course that’s capitalism and how company stocks work but damn the brainwashing.

EDIT:

Shopify bets on people’s desire for fast easy tools.

And they are winning.

An alternative is Woo or Prestashop or Magento, etc. But they are not dummy proof enough.

So right now the dummy proof program wins.

Sure you can integrate many apps with Shopify but you can do that too with the other CMS’

As I write this, the top post on the sub is a self taught amateur attempting a virtuoso piece, and while I definitely do agree with the consensus in the comments, I think a lot of it was put across in an overly critical way that isn't always helpful. It's clear to me from OP's posts that he was just trying to share what he thought was a cool accomplishment with the community, and wasn't really asking for a detailed critique. I know a lot of you may disagree, but I personally think it's important to temper our criticism with encouragement and support, lest we scare away casual players from sharing their content here. The classical piano community at large can be quite exclusive and elitist sometimes, and I think it's important to try and cultivate a safe space where average people and amateur hobbyists aren't afraid to share something without receiving a hundred comments about how their technique sucks.

Again, I do agree that OP's playing could use improvement(sorry u/pianoalt98!) but being able to play any part of a piece as complex as torrent at all after 4 years is still quite a feat, and deserves some recognition. Keep at it OP, maybe look into formal training whenever you can, and I hope you have a long and fulfilling piano journey :)

I've been self-learning how to scream on and off for about 5 months. Usually I just did something to impress some friends who knew jack shit about screaming, but recently I've wanted to actually improve. I can only do low stuff, with high stuff just cracking out and muting my voice before I even attempt. I'm open to all criticism, since I know I am INCREDIBLY inexperienced.

Here it is. I felt extremely dehydrated today so I drank something beforehand.

I kinda hated doing it.

It's very hard. It's extremely uncomfortable trying to console my mind and show myself self-compassion when I've been used to getting the opposite my whole life. All of it is just... weird.

I've been in bed all day, completely depressed. Like, "What's the point of anything?" kind-of thinking.

At some point, I told myself many things that felt uncomfortable.

"You're in a bad spot mentally right now"

"You feel unloved and like you can't do anything. It's understandable you feel that way based on your experiences"

"The way they treated you says nothing about you and everything about them. You were a child"

"Many people have treated you with kindness just fine, regardless of your flaws"

"You missed out on having a life for a long time, so it's understandable you're feeling left out"

All of it felt uncomfortable. It definitely feels incredibly lonely. Kinda wish it wasn't so hard, or that I wasn't so terribly sabotaged by my my family.

I'm honestly not sure what else to say. I'd like to be more positive and forgiving to myself, but it's very uncomfortable!

So, I'm very happy with myself and my life overall. I feel that I have my shit together for the vast majority of the time, with a healthy and stable relationship, large groups of loving friends, a caring family, a lovely dog. When I want something I'm not shy to ask, and I don't hold back socially, either. I'm outgoing and always full of energy.

Career wise, I've known what I wanted to do from a very young age, and took the right steps in that direction as soon as I could. I'm nearing the end of my Master's degree in Architecture now, and have a substantial amount of professional experience to show for, for my age. I've been doing what I do for a long time, I love doing it, and I know that I'm not half bad at it. Not the best there's ever been, of course, but definitely not bad.

Yet, whenever an aspect of my work is criticized during a review, I can't help but feel down. My energy drops, I question myself and my abilities, and so on. I know that critique is a good thing, and it's how I learn to improve. It's also always accompanied by approval of other aspects of my work, but the ratio of approval-to-criticism doesn't seem to matter to my brain. It makes me immediately wonder whether I've chosen the wrong path, whether I'm not cut out for this in the end, whether I should just do something else, something that maybe isn't subject to as much scrutiny.

The reason that this is so strange to me is because I am usually very sure of myself in my personal life, as I described above. It takes a lot to waver my confidence outside of university/work.

Does anybody else experience something similar? Why could this be?

My book is currently with ARC readers and I received a 4 star review from one of them. She said she really enjoyed the story and thinks it's going to do very well, but she also pointed out a lot of plot points that bugged her.

She went into detail on how strongly she felt about certain scenes, liked vs. disliked, and said that this book was good but could have been so much better.

Before you ask, yes, I have 4 beta readers and 1 editor who enjoyed the story.

I know this is just one person, but I guess I want to know how do you deal with these types of comments?

I just feel a bit exposed and broken and worried that all feedback will be like this.

I've been questioning how much of myself is really coming from me, how original i really am.

And i saw a comment that spoke to me. Even though i'm not a conservative (although i was when i was 14-16) it said conservatives don't make art, they apropiate it.

and i just felt like that talked to me, yknow?

my latest proyect is my take on japanese media, part of my posters and drawings are my spin on something i saw, not a concept but a concrete image, i sometimes feel like i see someone do a thing and after that i'll just start doing the sam

what do i believe?

For 2022 I’ve tried to rid myself of self-limiting beliefs, negative self talk and forms of negative criticism but the change is being extremely difficult for me to do.

I’ve started doing things like positive affirmations. Telling myself I’m attractive, that I’m good enough, that I’m a stud, that I’m smart and driven and a woman would absolutely be thrilled to be my partner. I try to do these things everyday and I try really hard to believe them. I also go to the gym frequently, started smiling more and started being more friendly and chatty with random people. Not small talk or anything but just little observations and a positive comment and a smile at the end.

The problem is that it’s really hard for me to keep this up and turn the actual affirmations into actual beliefs. Naturally my belief is that I’m not good enough because if I was then I would be dating someone new now. Just like my ex is currently happily with new people and new sexual partners. I on the other hand am trying to build myself up so I can have those experiences too. The problem is that after a few days or weeks of constant

“You’re good enough. You’re good enough” I slip back into.

“Maybe I’m really not. Maybe I am just a loser. Despite being successful, owning my home, my car etc. the fact that I can’t get laid or dates or matches means I’m simply not desirable by women”

This constant tug of war between changing my mindset to being positive and then the negative mindset almost overwhelming me causes me to have huge anger moments. The other night I got into the negative mindset because I realized that it’s been 9 months since the breakup and 1.5 years since I’ve had sex. I realized that I’m not making progress despite excercising and being friendly. That I’m still in the same spot. I was so angry I I pretty much screamed into my pillow and punched my door. Overreaction for sure but I think it’s this whole process of going from negative to positive with no results that’s really making me feel worthless.

Has anyone dealt with this?

Thought this would be a good place to ask.

For as long as I can remember, I've always loved art and it's a massive passion of mine I hope to turn into a career of some kind, but I've also been perfectionist for just as long. I remember it used to be helpful to be a bit perfectionist because I focused on fixing or improving details that my peers would actually end up liking, but somewhere down the line, it just because really critical and particular about everything. I take so much time completing one project that it makes me hesitant to try new projects or even branch out to new mediums. There's so many "requirements" I keep feeling like I need to satisfy like having the right skills (which never seems clear to me), having enough time (which never seems definite), and even worrying how to use an idea to its fullest without "wasting it." One thing I've also wanted to do is animation, but the scale of a project and knowing how long I take to do one makes it nearly impossible to try. Plus, I've always wanted to just do random art projects that wouldn't exactly be professional like fan art. Problem is that being the way I am, I keep thinking it'll just be a waste of time because I haven't filled this "quota" for normal art pieces.

I mainly do digital and acrylic painting and most of my projects take as little as a month to three months. But the longer these projects take, the more I procrastinate, want to work on other projects, and likely abandon the project altogether. It's annoying and I hate seeing that time just be wasted. The cycle continues so often, it's hard to feel motivated and it affects everything.

So I've been hoping to work on either controlling or improving my perfectionism. I feel like I spend more time obsessing over whether or not I'm doing everything right and being insecure rather than actually working hard. Plus, all those thoughts make it hard to work. Maybe if I'm able to do that, then I can feel more comfortable and be more productive, maybe even doing projects I feel like I'd take too long on like animations or work on things I'd do for me.

I hope this makes sense. Does anyone have any tips for someone like me?

I went vegan within the last three years. I initially did it because of my partner and I would "cheat" eat meat (say that three times fast) when she wasn't around. But I felt really guilty every time. Eventually something clicked and now I'm self-motivated to be vegan, mostly because of environmental impact concerns than anything else.

I don't know any other cishet men who are vegans in person, so I don't have anyone to talk about this issue with. I admit that I internally bristle when people call me a "soyboy" or say that I'm a different sexuality or gender. It's mostly other men who do this, but I sometimes also get this treatment from women, including in my own family. Sometimes I want to lash out and get in a fight even though rationally I understand that is in itself a different manifestation of toxic masculinity I'm upset about.

Perhaps this has to do with the fact I've struggled with ideas of what it means to be "masculine" in healthy ways outside of veganism, and it hasn't always been easy nor do I feel like I have people to talk about it with.

Can anyone else chime in on this issue?

(Also I apologize in advance if I didn't use any correct terms involving gender or sexuality, I'm trying to be better educated on both so my intention was not to insult anyone and I appreciate any corrections.)

I tend to not be who I truly am sometimes because I am worried about how people will judge or criticize me. I feel like I am not my authentic true self at certain times out of fear or being judged or criticized. I feel like I worry about trying to get other people to like me as well. This has become a problem for me because I do things that I don't want to really do out of fear, judgment, criticism and being liked. How can I say what I truly want to say and do what I truly want to do and not pretend to be someone else?