A science pun, a secret pun.
I’ve just been voted the most secretive person in the whole world
I can’t tell you how much this means to me
I figured out the secret chord that David played!
A secret society of pranksters is called illuminaughty
Why can't eggs keep a secret?
They tend to crack under pressure.
Did you hear the secret joke that only the FBI, CIA, NSA and MI6 know?
I finally did it. I told my wife I had secretly married someone else.
I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.
From my 7yr old daughter: Why was the pig covered in ink?
Because he lived in a pen!
So very proud!
When we arrived at the playground, I realised my son secretly brought the cat with him. I was about to be angry at him...
...but then I decided to let it slide.
The secret behind a dad joke is in the delivery
Is what the mailman keeps telling my son.
My buddy Earl has never been late to work, school, or any appointment. Want to know his secret?
What is Russias most secretive insect ?
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Someone secretly randomized my playlist.
Now I’m left with an unchained meddley.
I won the "Most Secretive Guy" award in our office today.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
There’s a fine line between a secret
I'm going to share with you the greatest secret for always being on time
Why was the discovery of King Tut thought to be a secret?
Because he was kept under wraps...
I’ve secretly converted to Norse Paganism
Shhh...I’m trying to keep it Loki
your mom secretly told me that you were born on a highway
....that's where most accidents happen
Every dad stores his jokes in a very secret place...
I just found out that my friend lives a secret life as a priest.
Why does “secretary” start with secret?
Because of all their business affairs
The guy who stole my diary died yesterday.
My thoughts are with his family.
Secret jaws plot
Did you know if you watch jaws backwards, it's about a shark that throws up so many people they have to open a beach? :D
You want the names of the tiny shrimp secret agents?
Sure, I could tell you...but then I’d have to krill you.
Two people agreed to never speak to each other secretly
It was an unspoken agreement.
If Spiderman's secret identity is Peter Parker, what's his dog's secret identity?
I have a co-worker who claimed for years that he hates Christmas. He finally broke down and told me he secretly loves it, he just has a reputation to maintain.
He finally came out of the Santa Claus-et.
I told my friend a secret about the grocery store.
Why do secret agents get the best sleep...
Because they’re always undercover.
Which melon is unable to secretly marry?
What's the secret to being Santa Claus?
You either have the gift or you don't.
Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
As a secret agent, my kids never know what I got them for Christmas..
I always keep the presents under wraps.
What movie is the quintessential dad joke movie?
I realize this isn't a joke, but it seems the best place to ask it. Hopefully the mods will let it ride. What movie is the quintessential dad joke movie?
My vote is "Top Secret!" with Val Kilmer in the mid 80s.
My friend asked about my secret of making the juiciest steak
He isn’t pleased saying it’s too dry.....
I just told him “it needs more thyme in the pan”
What did batman say to robin before they got into the bat mobile?
What secret society loves to eat pretzels?
I Figured out the secret chord that David played!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me "the most secretive guy" in the office.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
