Schrodinger walks into a bar

And doesn’t.

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📅︎ May 14 2022
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I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog team up for a cross county adventure...

So I headed down to the library to see if they had a copy. The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

👍︎ 2k
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📅︎ Sep 22 2021
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Prof. Schrodinger was pulled over for a broken tail light.

The cop got out to inspect the car, when he smelled something decaying. Instantly, the cop pulled his gun and asked Schrodinger to get out with his hands up.

Prof. Schrodinger cooperated and got out. “What’s the matter officer?”

“Open the trunk! Slowly!” The cop demanded.

Schrodinger paled. “No officer, you’ll ruin my experiment!”

The officer took the safety off his gun, now alarmed. “Open it! Now!”

The professor sighed, but opened his trunk. Instantly the smell of decaying flesh filled the air, but the officer was startled. “That’s a dead cat!”

Schrodinger sighed. “Yes, there is one now.”

(No cats were actually harmed in this!)

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📅︎ Jul 12 2021
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Why can’t you do Schrodinger’s experiment on the surface of Mars?

Because Curiosity killed the cat.

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📅︎ May 15 2021
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Schrodinger’s Cat has committed unforgivable crimes.

He is wanted dead and alive.

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📅︎ Sep 07 2020
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What was Schrodinger‘s cat most afraid of?

A FermiLabrador Retriever.

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📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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Schrodinger’s cat recently went on a deadly crime spree.

He is wanted dead and alive.

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📅︎ Sep 02 2018
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Is Schrodinger’s cat alive?

Short Answer: No.

Long Answer: Yes.

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📅︎ Jan 03 2019
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Where does Schrödinger park all of his boats?

On a pair of docks

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📅︎ Aug 20 2022
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Have you heard Schrodinger's joke?

Joke: >!                  !<

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👤︎ u/JinTaisa
📅︎ Mar 12 2021
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My girlfriend is like a cross between pi and i.

She's irrational and imaginary.

👍︎ 1k
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📅︎ Mar 28 2022
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat.

The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ May 16 2020
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Why was Schrödinger's trial so quick?

It was an open and shut case.

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👤︎ u/aHecc
📅︎ Apr 14 2022
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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't
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👤︎ u/dennis584
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
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Owning two wiener dogs may seem a bit weird at first. But its perfectly alright;

Just remember, it’s a pair-a-dachs.

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📅︎ Dec 15 2021
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If Matthew McConaughey had a cat, what color would it be?

All white, all white, all white.

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📅︎ Oct 13 2019
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No telling what was in there

We had a friend in town this weekend whose flight was this afternoon, so she was staying at the house for a while after my wife and I left for work. About halfway through my commute I was overtaken by a terrible sense of dread and panic that I forgotten to flush the toilet and our friend was going to come face to face with a semi-fresh dookie when she went to the restroom.

I was so mortified at this that I preemptively texted her to warn her and requested that she please, for both our sake's, flush the toilet prior to lifting the lid. We may never know whether I needed to send that text-- it was a real Schrodinger Scat situation.

This is sort of a TIFU, but I have no idea if I actually did and I'm not sure she would have the heart to tell me anyway.

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👤︎ u/LapTrap
📅︎ Sep 30 2019
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My son needed help with his homework:

He asked "Do you know anything about Pavlov's dog or Schrodinger's cat?"

It rang a bell, but I don't know if I knew anything or not.

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📅︎ Jun 12 2019
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Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Schrodinger: This is already my favorite book of all time!

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📅︎ Dec 14 2018
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Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.


The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.


If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”


Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!


How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.


What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.


A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.


Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your “style.”


I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.


I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.


Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.


Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.


Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.


What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!


A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.


Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.” “Are you sure?”

“Ye

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Punsville
📅︎ May 04 2017
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Knowledge is power

TIL Schrodinger might have been the most prolific cat killer in history

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📅︎ Jan 13 2019
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My wife asked if the dishwasher was clean or dirty...

I said it's both until you open it.

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📅︎ Apr 28 2017
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My Physical Chemistry professor dadjoked the entire class today.

So he's lecturing about the Schrodinger equations and rotational motion of particles, and how it could be easier to find a solution to the equation if the spherical coordinate system was used. He explains how the system works, and then says while clicking to the next powerpoint slide:

"Let's look at a real world example."

Cue a picture of a satellite image of Earth on the next slide and groans from all of the class.

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📅︎ Sep 02 2014
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I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat.

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

👍︎ 1k
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📅︎ Feb 26 2022
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I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat...

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

👍︎ 88
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👤︎ u/uglyric
📅︎ Jun 15 2020
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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar

And doesn't

👍︎ 14
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📅︎ Mar 03 2019
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I went to the librarian and I asked if they had the book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat...

She said it a rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if they had it or not

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👤︎ u/benofepmn
📅︎ Nov 28 2015
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New YA novel

I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure... So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter. The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

👍︎ 22
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📅︎ Nov 02 2021
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I went to the library looking for a book about Pavlov’s dog and Schrödinger’s cat

The librarian said it rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Nov 10 2019
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Wanted Dead & Alive

Schrodinger‘s Cat

👍︎ 27
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📅︎ Sep 13 2020
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