Mohs scale pun
In science class we did a mohs scale project. Basically I drew a dude saying “welcome to moh’s”
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still don’t get is why...
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
One for the intellectuals (and the kitchen-dwellers). Digital scales are so fragile.
I can tare them with one finger. I am SO sorry everyone have a great day.
I was on the bathroom scales, sucking my stomach in.
Thinking I was trying to weigh less with this manouver, my wife commented, "I don't think that's going to help !!"
"Sure it does " I retorted "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Today morning when I stood on the weighing scale it didn't move at all
The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
Have you heard the joke about the electronic scale?
Kitchen scale
My 5 yr old son pulled down the kitchen scale and asked me what it was for. I explained what it was and we left the kitchen.
Later, my wife asks me what our son was asking about so I told her we were talking about what the kitchen scale is used for. She then asks me "Why is it still on the counter? Why didn't you put it away?!"
I said "Because, we were weighing his options."
My son needed a history tutor, so I handed him some cereal and a scale
“Time to learn about Chex and balances”
To the person that stole my broken bathroom scale...
... You won’t get a weigh with this!
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
I kept asking my dad over and over what scales are used for
My wife said on a scale of 1 to 10, she rates me an 11
I was so happy but then she told me it was a pH scale because I’m basic as hell.
Did you see my new talking scale?
It has a weigh with words.
How do you call a hipster’s weighting scale?
What is the best temperature scale to use for the ocean?
Why should you eat your meals from a weighing scale?
So you can have a balanced diet.
This morning I got on the scales to weigh myself...
my wife walked by and I sucked in my gut, she said "That won't help" I said "Yes it will, now I can see the numbers"
Models of dragons are not to scale
Quarantine day 25: Found my husband working on the patio with his scroll saw. Yes. It's a scale model.
What side of a fish has the most scales?
I’ve been rating everyone’s bathroom on a scale from one to ten. I’ve gotta say...
I bet the scale is feeling a little under the weather
Ms. Richie: Hey, remind me what comes after Do and Re on the musical scale?
Lionel: Hello, is it Mi you are looking for?
How good are those fishy puns, on a scale from 1-10?
Dad: (Hanging bathroom scale on wall)
Daughter: There's no way you can weigh yourself with it up there
Dad: Weigh myself? Hah! A was scaling the wall!
About a year ago, I had this friend named Uriah, who I called “U”. I gave my old motorcycle to him, because I had just bought a new one. Soon thereafter, he put it on a scale.
Last Christmas, I gave Yamaha. But the very next day,
U gave it a weigh.
Is it normal for a Jedi to scale walls and obstacles with ease?
Yes, it’s parkour the force.
My bathroom scale found...
Everything my 401k has lost!
Came into the bathroom and my wife's Kindle was next to the toilet, sitting on the scale.
Must have been doing some light reading.
On a scale of 1 to 10...
...it's really hard to weigh yourself.
A chubby Mandalorian steps on the scale at the doctor's office. The nurse reads it and says, "215 lbs." Mando sternly replies "180 pounds..."
When I die, I want a scale present at the will reading, because where there's a will, there's a weigh.
My left me while I was on a scale.
I weighted for a long time
I bought a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, "Is it to scale?"
I replied, "NO!! It's to look at."
When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “Ha! That’s not going to help!”
“Sure, it does.” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach.
Ha! That’s not going to help, she said. Sure, it does, I said. Its the only way I can see the numbers.
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
My wife told me that the bathroom scales were broken. I said...
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach...
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
I asked my wife what she thought of my peeing skills, on a scale of 1-10...
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach...
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
I asked my friend to rate my listening skills and he said, "You're an 8 on a scale of 10"
Really don't understand why he told me to urinate on a skeleton.
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