I want to open a sandwich shop called Salvador DelΓ­

We’ll specialize in melts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IceCoolBrutus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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What’s the most popular sandwich shop in Warioland?

Wawawa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/natelopez53
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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I decided to open a sandwich shop in the middle of our residential district...

It'll be called Suburbway.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Yesterday my girlfriend and I went to a new(ish) sandwich shop for dinner, close to where she grew up.

Her: This building didn’t used to be here.

Me: Every building didn’t used to be there!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Show-Tune-Singer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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I used to own a combination lingerie store / sandwich shop.

It was called Delicate Essence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justintnelson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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I'm going to cash in on the success of 'Avengers: Infinity War' by opening up a comics themed sandwich shop...

It'll be called Soup or Hero.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DefenestrateYou
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then...

... you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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I recently opened a combination sandwich shop/mini golf course.

I thought it was a great idea but the reviews said the experience was sub-par.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TVLord5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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The Indian sandwich shop that closed last year reopened.

They named it the New New Delhi Deli.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rock_it_Scientist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who had a confrontation with the Vietnamese sandwich shop owner?

He kept telling him β€œgo ahead, I don’t care, ban me!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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Served at Sancho Panza's sandwich shop: reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/U-pu-36-ESM
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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I took the underground train to a sandwich shop today.

It was a Subway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dessert404
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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The Dalai Lama went into a sandwich shop

He asked the cashier, "Make me one with everything."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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I ran the numbers, and it turns out my dad’s sandwich shop is losing money fast.

He said, β€œThat’s okay, subs tend to go under.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/audin_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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What do you call a sandwich shop for bodybuilders?

Subwhey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
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There's a sandwich shop near my house...

It's called 'Goodfillers'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TooKinqie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2013
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Sandwich shop employee asked what kind of egg I want (without specifying white or with yolk)

"Chicken, please"

My family had to respond to her confused look, assuring her I was pulling her leg.

Note: not a dad yet, but I'm training to be one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The Laughing Hoagie

Two high school students named Steve and Josh found themselves broke on a saturday afternoon while strolling around in the city mall. They hadn't eaten lunch and they were getting hungry, but alas, they had no money for food and they were hours away from home.

"I heard there's a place downtown where you can get a sandwich for free" Steve said to Josh.

"That sounds great, let's check it out" Josh replied, and they headed downtown.

They soon found the place. It was a small shop, too small to feel like a real business. The place had no tables or chairs, and not really much furniture at all. An old man stood behind a small counter and eyed them as they entered.

"Welcome to the Laughing Hoagie" he said.

"What is a laughing hoagie?" Josh wondered.

"It's the name of this sandwich place. This is not a regular sandwich shop. We have a special offer here for people who can't afford to pay for their food." the man said as he smiled a toothy smile at them.

"So it's true then," Josh blurted out, "we can get free food here?"

"Not so fast." The old man said. "There is a condition."

"What is it?" Steve wondered aloud.

"Well," the man started "you have to listen to one of my jokes, and the one of you who laughs the most genuine laugh gets a free sandwhich. The other one gets nothing."

As he said this, the old man opened a small refrigerator that stood behind the counter and produced a large, footlong sandwhich with ham, cheese, bacon, lettuce and tomatoes. It was covered in a white dressing and gave off a faint peppery aroma. The boys' mouths started watering at the sight of it.

"What? So only one of us gets a sandwhich?" Steve asked, taken aback.

"Those are the rules," the old man grinned, "if you don't like it, you may leave."

"Nah, we'll hear the joke." Josh said. Steve looked at him, and then nodded to the old man.

"All right." the old man rubbed his hands together as if preparing to dig into a strenuous task.

"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?" he asked, and looked expectantly at the teens. They both stared at him with blank expressions.

"Bye Son!" he exclaimed, and struggled not to burst out giggling at his own quip. Josh chuckled a bit, but Steve just frowned.

"That was the worst joke I ever heard!" he exclaimed.

"Well," the old man said as he handed the sandwich over to Josh, "if you don't like jokes with really bad punchlines, then this sub is not for you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffigt
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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6am at Detroit metro airport, my first real dad joke hatched.

FiancΓ©: where do you want to eat?

Me: well there's the mcdonalds and the currency exchange over there

...

We can get a euro.

She just walked away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dovachu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
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Sub shop

I plan on opening my own golf themed sandwich shop, it's called "Subβ€”par"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCaptMAgic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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A Man Gets Into A Taxi

A man walks out of his work building and hails a taxi. He gets into the taxi and says, "Take me to the sandwich shop up on 45^th street." Ten minutes later they arrive, and the cab driver checks the console. "That'll be $12.00." The man is shocked. "This route used to be only $6.00! What happened?" The taxi driver explains. "Well, construction was blocking the usual route, so I had to double back and take a longer route." The man considers this, then shrugs.

"I guess that's fare."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlausBaudelaire
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
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need help with a pun! chorizo sandwich

a friend of mine owns a cafe and is starting to sell homemade Chorizo sandwiches, need a good pun to write on a sign at front of shop, thought I'd turn to the creative minds of r/puns for help! winner gets a month of gold go go go!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duffmuff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
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Dadjoked a cashier

I was out with some friends, we were grabbing some food at a local coffee shop. Their prices were fucking sweet, like three bucks for a sandwich. Anyway, I placed by order:

-$4.50 for a grilled cheese (heavenly)

-$3.00 for a small shake

-$0.60 tax

The cashier nods and says, "Thank you, that'll be $8.10"

I replied, "It's about to be ea-ten"

I'm pretty sure they spit in my food...

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LukeNukem99
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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Not a dad, but I think I am prepared... Well everyone in line thought so anyway.

This starts and ends at the local coffee shop I go to on the way to work. My cashier takes my order; sausage, egg & cheese with salt, pepper, ketchup and hot sauce, on toasted rye. She taps away for a moment on the iPad POS then looks up and says "and a name for the sandwich?" to which I quickly raise my chest and proclaim "Breakfast!". To this all 6 people in the shop, including the cashier started chuckling.

[drop mic]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractalphony
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
🚨︎ report
I told my Dad that I was downloading a game at 4.5 Megabytes per second.

"The last mega bite I heard of was a sandwich shop."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACrowComeOver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Pulled off a nice dadjoke at a restaurant.

I went out with a buddy to a restaurant / sandwich shop where you order your meal, they give you a plastic card with a number on it that you place at your table and then they will bring the food out to you.

Waitress walks up and places the sandwiches on the table.

W: "Enjoy your meal, can I have your number?"

Me: ..points at left hand "Sorry, but I'm married"

She gave a fake smile and I gave her the plastic number card, me and my buddy laughed for a few.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2014
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Got dadjoked at the local sandwich joint

So a couple guys and I went out to the local sandwich shop the other day, and when I get my sandwich there's some small but noticeable mold on the bread. I go back in to let them know about it and they make me another sandwich. I've got two sandwiches now and figure a bit of mold won't kill me. But it's a lot of food so I give half to my friend.

Then I say, "Hey, I just ate half my sandwich, and I've still got a whole one."

So my friend replies, "Well, I guess you can half your sandwich and eat it, too!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chucatawa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2014
🚨︎ report
In line at the sandwich counter...

So I was in line at my college's sandwich shop. The man behind me was one of the workers in the school's small post office, and also happens to be my friend's dad. He laid down a pretty good dad joke.

Sandwich lady: Next? What kind of bread can I get for you? Me: Hi, thank you, I'll have a white wrap. Him: Oh, I'll give you a white rap, "Yo, yo, yo, beatbox noises"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/naptime03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
🚨︎ report

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