A list of puns related to "Right To Health"
The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patientโs record. A monkey that had been a healthy weight at its last checkup was now recorded as being only half that.
Fearing for the monkeyโs health, he went and saw it, expecting it to be sickly and skeletal. However, the monkey seemed totally normal. Confused told his staff to weigh the monkey again.
They did, but the number they reported was still astonishingly low. Sure it was a mistake, he went to weigh the monkey for himself. But when he put the monkey on the scale, it showed a number that was still far too low, and couldnโt possibly be right.
After a moment he spotted the problem: behind the scale was a grab bar on the wall, and the monkey had stealthily grabbed it with its tail, and was supporting some of its weight off the scale that way.
So the monkey's weight was fine, they just weren't paying attention to de tail.
All right reddit, I have to get this off my chest. Iโm absolutely SICK of this pandemic. Everywhere I go, Iโm constantly being PESTERED to wipe down surfaces and sanitize my hands. Itโs a complete infestation of my personal space!
Letโs face it, our ailing democratic rights have taken a huge hit. And this is a symptom of a larger problem. Namely, our ruling class seems totally impaired! We are being totally ill-informed by people who claim they know everything about this disease.
For example, this whole situation has been plagued with problems since the beginning! Itโs a scourge on whatโs left of humanity.
So I say, itโs time to break out of the shackles and seize our lives back! We need to combat this virus that flew around the world with everything weโve got. Because this lock down is bugging the hell out of me! This is a cold call to do your part. The health of our society depends on it!
Happy quarantine, everyone!
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
Friend - "Hey are the ribs cooking yet?" Me - "They're smoking right now" Friend - "Have you talked to them about the long term health concerns?"
So the person's profile only talks about airplanes. I wanted to send a message totally jammed packed with airplane puns but I don't have that many. It's probably a fake profile but I still think it would be fun.
Here's what I have so far. Hey Girl. Most of the girls on this website are so 'plane' but you're the exception. I have a 'terminal' illness and hope to meet my copilot before I go. Just kidding. My health is 'A oK47'. I was just 'play'n' around. Just to let you know I have some baggage from some 'turbulence' in a previous relationship but Shirley I can get past it. My previous relationship taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights made an airplane. I hope a new relationship can 'takeoff' with you though. I would be a great boyfriend. I have financial 'security' and could buy you anything you want with my 'visa'. Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? It's really good, except for the train and automobile parts.
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