Richard Harland Puns

There's been this idea floating around that "Anyone can play The Doctor" from both fans and even some of the actors and creators behind the show.

I will, however, respectfully disagree. I would rephrase it as "EVERYONE can play The Doctor, but not ANYONE can."

The Doctor can be played by men, women, white people, black people, asian people, indian people, pakistani people, whatever you want.

However, you need a very specific type of actor who can do this character justice. Just because there have been variations to The Doctor doesn't mean there aren't certain attributes that are consistent with most versions that SHOULD be there, so the character feels true.

I'm kind of sick of people suggesting every actor under the sun because they're either trendy or they can play "lel quirky" characters (I think Richard Ayoade is a great comedian, I just don't think he's got the chops for The Doctor just because Moss is superficially similar), so I thought I'd compile a list of the four characteristics that I think are necessary to play The Doctor.

1: They have to come from the U.K. - We've had Brits and we've had Scots and we can have Irish and Welsh, but I'll be damned if I take any Americans as The Doctor. It's a fundamentally British show, you need someone from the area because they will bring something to the character that is fundamentally from there.

2: They can't be mega-famous - This ties into the next point, but I don't think The Doctor should ever be played by someone who's attained a lot of fame. It distracts from the character and I think people would see the actor over The Doctor rather than the actor as The Doctor. Also, I'll come out and say it, I don't think Tom Hiddleston or Benedict Cumberbatch would be great Doctors. Those seem to be the only choices by people who only know two British actors.

3: They should be Character Actors: From Wikipedia, a Character Actor is "a supporting actor who plays unusual, interesting, or eccentric characters." Essentially, it's someone who can bring very distinct skills to the table and not just a great actor. Anthony Hopkins is a fantastic actor, but I would never cast him as The Doctor because he lacks a distinct weirdness that I think is needed for the role.

4: They should be weird - I'll put this out there: The Doctor is fucking weird. Not "lel quirky" weird like the New Series has tried to impinge on us, but properly fucking weird. Just look at 4, dude is always saying weird shit and

Well, it's New Year's Day and I embraced the previous night with gusto. So I will be recovering by doing what every normal person does to get rid of a hangover: write about a murderous lunatic.

Claudius differs from the prior leaders I've written about in a couple of ways. First, unlike Leonard Kurita or Edward Davion, who were ruling over governments that were growing and developing, Claudius was Archon during the middle of the Second Succession War, taking power in 2845. This was a crucial period for the Inner Sphere as Operation HOLY SHROUD had just concluded and the extinction of Star League technology was rapidly accelerating. And second, while my first two subjects are characterized largely by their incompetence, Claudius Steiner was very, very good at what he set out to do. And that was killing anyone he thought was his enemy.

Claudius was born in 2812, the second son of Archon Richard Steiner. While his older brother Marcus would be noted mostly for his organizational strategies, such as reforming the Stealths and coordinating the successful Citizen Regiments program, Claudius was a skilled tactician who led the elite 2nd Lyran Guards. It seems like a winning combination that people could rally behind, the astute Archon as commander-in-chief and his brother as the knife to skewer the Mariks and Kuritans. Then, in 2843, Marcus caught meningitis and died.

As Marcus had never put an Archon-Designate forward for the Estates General to ratify, it was entirely in the assembly's hands to choose the next Archon. Melissa Nin, the Archon's widow and Duchess of Furillo, put forward herself as a candidate for the throne. Claudius responded with the following message to Tharkad, which really set the tone for his future reign.

> I am neither humble nor courteous and so will not couch my intent with flowery or eloquent phrases. Instead, hear me plain: I will kill anyone who challenges my claim to the Archonship, and I will torture anyone who supports any of my rivals for the throne. I hope I've made myself understood.

I've always found it pretty admirable that the Estates General refused to acknowledge his claim. Harland Dinesen, the Speaker of the Assembly, instead rallied the delegates to support Nin, who became Archon in December 2844. Nobody's really sure why he chose to do that, but I suspect that Claudius' threats galvanized support against him and Dinesen believed that he would not be able to carry out his threats.

Five months later, Claudius led

aaron abbey abbie abby abdul abe abel abigail abraham abram ada adah adalberto adaline adam adan addie adela adelaida adelaide adele adelia adelina adeline adell adella adelle adena adina adolfo adolph adria adrian adriana adriane adrianna adrianne adrien adriene adrienne afton agatha agnes agnus agripina agueda agustin agustina ahmad ahmed ai aida aide aiko aileen ailene aimee aisha aja akiko akilah al alaina alaine alan alana alane alanna alayna alba albert alberta albertha albertina albertine alberto albina alda alden aldo alease alec alecia aleen aleida aleisha alejandra alejandrina alejandro alena alene alesha aleshia alesia alessandra aleta aletha alethea alethia alex alexa alexander alexandra alexandria alexia alexis alfonso alfonzo alfred alfreda alfredia alfredo ali alia alica alice alicia alida alina aline alisa alise alisha alishia alisia alison alissa alita alix aliza alla allan alleen allegra allen allena allene allie alline allison allyn allyson alma almeda almeta alona alonso alonzo alpha alphonse alphonso alta altagracia altha althea alton alva alvaro alvera alverta alvin alvina alyce alycia alysa alyse alysha alysia alyson alyssa amada amado amal amalia amanda amber amberly ambrose amee amelia america ami amie amiee amina amira ammie amos amparo amy an ana anabel analisa anamaria anastacia anastasia andera anderson andra andre andrea andreas andree andres andrew andria andy anette angel angela angele angelena angeles angelia angelic angelica angelika angelina angeline angelique angelita angella angelo angelyn angie angila angla angle anglea anh anibal anika anisa anisha anissa anita anitra anja anjanette anjelica ann anna annabel annabell annabelle annalee annalisa annamae annamaria annamarie anne anneliese annelle annemarie annett annetta annette annice annie annika annis annita annmarie anthony antione antionette antoine antoinette anton antone antonetta antonette antonia antonietta antonina antonio antony antwan anya apolonia april apryl ara araceli aracelis aracely arcelia archie ardath ardelia ardell ardella ardelle arden ardis ardith aretha argelia argentina ariana ariane arianna arianne arica arie ariel arielle arla arlean arleen arlen arlena arlene arletha arletta arlette arlie arlinda arline arlyne armand armanda armandina armando armida arminda arnetta arnette arnita arnold arnoldo arnulfo aron arron art arthur artie arturo arvilla asa asha ashanti ashely ashlea ashlee ashleigh ashley ashli ashlie ashly ashlyn ashton asia asley a

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

So, much earlier this year, I noticed that the Hoopla e-book program has every book in the The Best Horror of the Year anthology series. And I decided, hey, what the hell, let’s make this series my summer reading project. And I know this is pretty belated due to numerous factors, but hey! I finished it! So, I figured I’d do a wrap-up post!

Or, posts in this case. Reddit’s got a character limit, after all. But I figured I’d just do a quick introduction to explain what I’m doing before getting into things. While making my way through the series, I took some brief (or not-so-brief) notes on the stories that really stood out to me as my favorites. Sometimes I rambled for a while, other times my notes were extremely short because, while I liked the story, I didn’t really have much to say about it. I’ve also included links to all the stories I could find that are available for free online so you can check them out yourself if you want.

And don’t let the absence of a story from these posts discourage you! I highly recommend checking the whole collections out yourself if you’re able to. Maybe Google the tables of contents and see if there’s anyone you recognize in them. They’re good anthologies! Give 'em a read if you can! And if you have read these anthologies (or you just recognize some of the stories or authors discussed here), talk about them! I wanna hear your thoughts on them too!

So, without further ado: my favorites from The Best Horror of the Year.

Volume One (2008):

• “Cargo” by E. Michael Lewis – An Air Force Loadmaster in the 1970s finds out that there’s something happening with his morbid cargo. Unsettling, but ultimately a sad examination of mass deaths and the people who die within them.

• “Penguins of the Apocalypse” by William Browning Spencer – Sort of a "the monster is a metaphor for a real life struggle" story (in this case alcoholism), but taken in way more bizarre directions. It involves penguins and an extremely strange man who is obsessed with them. You really get the sense that there’s a bigger world behind the odd occurrences in this story, but your lack of context to it really heightens the story’s strangest and most unsettling moments.

• “Harry and the Monkey” by Euan Harvey – A story about a parent whose child has a close encounter with Thai urban legend. I'm a sucker for any story based in malevolent modern folklore, and this was right up my alley.

Volume Two (2009):

• [“each thing i show you is a piece of my death

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Or would that be too forward thinking?

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

When I got home, they were still there.

There hasn't been a post all year!