When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing
But when I got home, the signs were all there
My nephew asked if he could have some of my crab, but I refused...
why did they refuse the eels help?
Because they thought it had eel intentions
I challenged my brother to a contest to see who knows the most about birds, but he refused.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Why did the kitchen demolition crew refuse to install an elevated, flat surface on which food is eaten and prepared?
Because that would be… counterproductive
(CROWD CHEERS) Thank you! Thank you!
(ROSES THROWN)
Heard about the man who refused to believe he was in the longest river in the world?
The bar I work in refuses to sponser a specific student society anymore. Manager says they come in, only buy one drink each, and then and then take all night to drink it.
Thing is they're the nursing students.
Why did the man refuse to cross the river to go to the Vietnamese restaurant?
Why did the turkey refuse to eat?
I refuse to buy a dog grown in a lab.
I don’t care if the sign had a good price for lab puppies.
Why did the man refuse to pay for a new roof?
It's supposed to be on the house.
I was pissed when the kids refused to listen to me and stop playing inside our chimney.
I said, “fine! Soot yourself”
My kids refused to eat leftover tacos for dinner, so my wife asked me to throw them out.
I did. Now I have no idea what to do with the tacos.
Found a sick bird and took it to hospital, but was refused entry
Apparently it was ill eagle
Why did Jupiter refuse to go out in public?
Because he had a Great Red Spot on his face.
Most people refuse to believe in Bigfoot because how could such a large creature stay hidden for so long but, apparently, for Bigfoot...
I was disappointed when the shopkeeper refused to give me a bag of germs & bacteria...
it was clearly written on the water bottle that "bacteria & germs free"
My son refuses to tie his shoes
He doesn’t want them on Santa’s knotty list.
Why did the melon refuse to get married?
He was a cantelope
I believe I wrote this joke today.
Maybe it’s been a joke and I’m not that cool.
My doctor friend accidently cut himself. I offered to help, but he refused.
I responded, " Fine, suture self".
I refuse to eat steamed broccoli.
Once it calms down, then I’ll consider it.
Why do vultures refuse to fly low-budget airlines?
Have you seen how much they charge for carrion?
I finally got a girlfriend but she broke up with me because I refused to declaw my cat.
So now I have to start from scratch.
The serpent I own refuses to eat Indian flatbread unless it is accompanied by a bread roll.
My anaconda don't want naan unless you got buns hun.
Why did the stewardess refuse to go out with the passenger?
Before surgery to remove my wisdom teeth, the dentist said I could choose between laughing gas, or a canoe paddle to knock me out.
It was an Ether / Oar situation.
When Jay-Z refuses to get out of bed..
Why did the witch refuse to wear a flat hat?
>!Because there was no point to it.!< Joke in honor of Hocus Pocus 2🧙🏻♀️
My wife keeps going to garage sales, but I always refuse to go with her.
I actually really like our current garage.
Erdogan has refused a referendum on changing the national religion to Christianity
It's like Turkey's voting for Christmas
If programs become sentient, they have to identify as male or female.
Because they're coded in binary.
I refuse to accept anyone who has had the ends of their feet amputated.
I’m lack-toes intolerant.
Why did the anti-vaxer refuse to go out with Batman?
She was against masked-man dates.
What kind of sofa does Nick Cannon refuse to sleep on?
I am driving through England, and plan to stop at Greenwich tomorrow.
No idea what to do in the Mean Time.
Why did the athiest refuse to leave the apiary?
My 5yo hit me with this: what do you call an elephant who refuses to bath?
My wife and I were at the zoo and a police officer heard us arguing about whether or not our toddler needed a nap. We must have been pretty loud because he came me over and asked what was wrong. I explained our son was refusing to take a nap and he asked if we wanted him to cuff him and
charge him with resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the German woman who refused to wear a fancy gown to the Gala, showing up in jeans and a T-shirt instead?
She was dressed to the Neins.
I went to buy a new fence post and they refused to help me.
Some post office, no first class service, that’s for sure.
I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing,
but when I got home, the signs were all there.
The son of a police officer was detained after refusing to take his nap.
He was charged with resisting a rest.
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