A beloved coworker that always had a dadjoke ready to go suddenly passed recently. We’re ready to grieve him with dadjokes about death. Can your share yours?
I found this one today that I know he would have loved: I hope my coworker is cremated because it’ll be his final chance to have a smokin’ hot body.
Edit: thank you everyone for the dadjokes. Many of these are absolutely dead-on!
If you’re the person at work that greets everyone and has a dadjoke or two, even if people usually groan, you are likely more loved than you know. Keep up the groans!
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
EDIT: Thanks to u/DailyDadJokesPodcast for my first award, much appreciated 👍
Hey guys, I’m looking for the WORST possible puns you can come up with, with the added challenge of them not being super common ones.
Make me want to bang my face against a wall!
Edit: Thanks for all the puns so far, they’re utterly horrible! The more the better ;)
Because they lactose.
Edit: There seem to be a lot of lactose intolerant people around, I'm getting mad cownvoted.. Maybe posting here a udder mistake.
“Hey there bud!”
Not much, it’s pretty light.
“Driver’s license?” the blonde driver asks, somewhat confused.
“You know, the little rectangle with your face on it that you keep in your purse,” the blonde cop explains patiently.
“Oh, that!” the blonde driver exclaims. She digs around in her purse and finally pulls out a small rectangular mirror, which she hands to the blonde cop.
The blonde cop looks at the mirror and exclaims, “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am, you’re free to go…I didn’t realize you were a cop!”
Edit: Some people in the comments are saying that this is not a dad joke, I put this here cause my dad told this one to me. Hope this makes sense :)
He attended rallies and protests in support of spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. His other big interest was computers, specifically writing code for them.
I guess you could say he was a pro-grammar programmer.
Daughter: Dad, are you smart?
Me: Yes.
Daughter: Spell it.
Me: S-M-A-R-T
Daughter: You said you’re smart but you can’t even spell the word “it.”
She got me good.
—
Edit: My first front page post! I’d like to say thanks to all the wonderful people that upvoted this and made awesome comments. And screw you to the weirdos who went out or their way to say mean things. And thanks to my daughter. She is the real MVP in all this.
Once you reach the appendix, you’re done.
Credit to my Dad.
Edit: he corrected me. It should say textbook
Who’s there?
I eat map.
I eat map who?
You’re disgusting dude.
Edit: say it out loud and quickly
They’re really pressing their luck.
Edit: Thank you very much for the unexpected medal!
They’re rather blunt.
Edit: we can hash it out in the comments and weed out the bad ones.
Unless you’re prepared to deal with the Reaper cushions.
stolen from r/jokes. Credit to u/shopcounterwill. I don’t know how to link or tag stuff on Reddit
Edit: apparently I do. Haha
Dad: No your adopted
Edit : YOU'RE*
Re-roofing complete.
*Edit: reworded punchline. I think it might be better said "replacing my shingles" but I cannot for the life of me edit that part...
*ahem* without hacking.
My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:
Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.
I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.
Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am
Gaze.
[EDIT]: how the fuck did I re-post this I didn’t click shit
You could SAY we’re all biased
After all, it’s better having 2 asses than a single one with a crack down the middle.
Edit: realized the typo and then realized you can’t edit the title
^ ^(hungoversailor) ^(19 points • 16 hours ago •) ^(edited 9 hours ago)
| I’ve never been told I’m above average before.
| ^(🗨️ Reply Give Award Share Report Save)
| ^ ^(Slappinbeehives) ^(31 points • 16 hours ago)
| | Ok. You’re above average before.
| | ^(🗨️ Reply Give Award Share Report Save)
| | ^ ^(ayunami2000) ^(1 point • just now)
| | | r/dadjokes
| | | ^(🗨️ Reply Share Save Edit) ^(•••)
^(how else am i supposed to add reddit comments?)
what's a good riposte?
edit: or should I say re-post?
"If Pete & RePete were walking down the street and Pete fell into a hole, who's left?"
I can remember that joke having me in hysterics as a kid...the sheer frustration....
Edit: a word
