I realize that this is oddly specific, but it came up in lectures and a reason wasn't given.
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
To mark the 414th episode of Omnibus (because I missed the round number of 400 and won't wait until 500), here's every speculation by Ken and John on the podcast about what the Futurelings will look like, smell like, be like, etc. This is from a notes file on my phone, so maybe I've missed some. Episodes that aren't listed contain no speculations.
(I shared a previous versions of this, but the posts are now archived so can't update it or comment)
Intro episode
Cockroaches, presumably.
European Starling
Starlings are the only bird left in North America, replacing the Eagle as the symbol of the country.
Live in a community of pacifism and pure energy... who have better taste than current people and revere the Long Winters, and use his track as a National Anthem.
Maybe half goat half person that like peeing on themselves.
Defenestration
Futurelings live in a world called Battlefield Earth.
Insectile claw into record grooves to listen to Omnibus.
Marathon of 1904
Giant. Megafauna.
Blocks of cheese, or maybe Ents?
The Pig War
All living in utopian Cascadia.
No Facebook... and no faces either.
Smell-o-vision
Giant moles, smelling the podcast, not hearing it.
The Rachel
May be wearing a haircut called the Ken Jennings.
Tesseract
Live on potato starch... worship the potato.
Water Wars
3.5 feet tall horned toads that lick moisture off rocks.
Listening thousands of feet underground at the water table.
Gadsby
Live in hives.
Eat massive 12,000 pound ducks that last the entire futureling’s life.
Click mandibles to write letters.
Secret Order of the Double Sunrise
Listening from Singapore which has a billion people, part of a global hive.
Have gossamer dragonfly wings due to evolvolution.
Houston and New York are part of the same megalopolis.
They all have an AI John Roderick in their treehouses.
Darien Gap
Sentient fish who live underwater and look at submerged trees.
Heil Honey I’m Home!
No such thing as race in futurelings.
All rooms only have three walls due to the main architectural influence being family sitcoms.
Monrovia
Old futurelings watch Jeopardy hosted by Alex Trebec’s head in a jar of nutrients.
Might all be part of the Canadian Hegemony.
Mandibles clicking in excitement.
Live in 55,000 small nation states.
Kohoutek
Giant Cockroaches again
Twitter became SkyNet and Omnibus is recorded for it.
Sentinelese
All left handed, or left mandible
... keep reading on reddit ➡Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
And boy are my arms legs.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Put it on my bill
Amy
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
