I understand that might seem almost like an oxymoron, but curious to see if there are some good ones out there.
No it was Witch two officer!
so im talking to this guy and his name is wisdom. Im horrible at coming up with puns/pick up lines and Im trying to think of a funny one but I cant. help.
The questions is, will Neil Patrick Harris on the back?
So I'm having lunch with the family, and a girl walks in with a Google t shirt.
My dad leans in to me and whispers, "You should go ask that girl if she's 'searching' for you..."
Edit: told my dad about the turnout of this post during dinner and he told me he'd turn my Moto X phone into a Moto Ex phone if I kept using it during family meals. Looks like the fun never ends...
Ford Ranger
Nissan Navara
Toyota Hilux
Mitsubishi Strada
So I figure a pick up truck should cover both bases
You simply WEED 'em out
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
I'm a smooth operator.
I'm font of you bc you're my type ;) Ok don't kill me bye
These two ladies (Around 50) were making small talk with this barista of the same age, when he said, "Why didn't you take your mask off?" to one of them. I guess they didn't know what he was talking about and just shrugged it off with an awkward laugh, then he landed it: "You went as a beauty-queen, right?"
It really pissed me off. So the next day I got there early and taught his kid how to ride a bike.
And you can never get that back
Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!
"It's in the Heisenberg-street.", she said, "Do you know where that is?"
"No," I said, "but I know how fast you can go there."
She didn't get it.
"Oh man, I'm jelly. "
"Hey jelly, I'm peanut butter"
So, my mother is British, and my dad was studying in the UK (he's American) when they met.
Dad: So... do you have any American in you?
Mom: No..
Dad: Would you like one?
