Before I join a contest, I always make my dog urinate on a photograph of the other contenders.
It gives me a leg up on the competition.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
My brother ran up to photograph a cow near a cliff
He said it was 'ledge and dairy.'
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
If you want to make easy money, just take photographs of salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
π︎ 117
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
The first photograph of a black hole was released
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Apr 10 2019
Rare photograph of The Milky Way viewed from Mars
π︎ 62
π
︎ Jan 17 2020
I've kept photographs of all my old girlfriends
they're more attractive than the younger ones.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
My neighbours, the Razzis, have more photographs hanging from their walls than anyone Iβve ever known.
Thanks to their dad, Papa Razzi.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
Why can't anyone get a photograph of a grizzly with shoes or socks on?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
My friend likes to stop by my wind farm and take photographs of my windmills...
He likes to shoot the breeze.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
What type of photographs cost money and which ones are free?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
He who eats a photograph of his dad...
...will soon be spitting image of his father.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 16 2019
I didn't really like the song Photograph
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 16 2019
My camera was low on storage, so I was only able to photograph a shark attacking a seal.
Itβs just one kilo-byte.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 27 2019
My dad is a photograph enthusiast
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 05 2019
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.....
They're all so pixielated.
π︎ 78
π
︎ Mar 14 2018
What did Cinderella say while waiting for her photographs to be developed?
"Someday my prints will come."
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 28 2017
What did the first person in a colored photograph say?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 23 2019
What do you call it when a Jojo fan makes a photograph to capture the moment?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 19 2017
What do you called the fastest photographer alive ?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 04 2021
I once got beaten up by a photographer
π︎ 61
π
︎ May 13 2021
I once raced against a Photographer in Finland
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 14 2021
Are people born with photographic memories...
....Or do they take a while to develop ?
π︎ 161
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
I have a photographic memory.
But I ran out of film in 1999.
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 07 2021
Even though the art thief and the photographer were friends,
Neither had ever taken the otherβs picture.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 13 2021
Did you hear about the photographer that always caught people's worst features?
She was a poor-traits artist.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
What type of image format do lion photographers use?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
The life of a Family Photographer isn't for me.
Every Day I shoot people, I frame them, and hang them
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
I spent all morning at the lake photographing birds. Enjoyable but I didnβt see a thing.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
I've often wondered, are people with photographic memories born with that ability..
..or does it just take time to develop ?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
I met a pessimistic photographer the other day...
He wouldnβt stop talking about negatives.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
She had a photographic memory,
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
π︎ 234
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
Peter Parker lost his photographer job at the Daily Bugle
Now he works in web development.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
What was everyone saying about the photographer who got the prosthetic foot?
They got some new faux-toes
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 30 2021
What's a photographers favourite food?
π︎ 53
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
I thought I could make a decent living taking photos of the jousting spears that the Renaissance Fair was handing out
Turns out being a free lance photographer isnβt all itβs cracked up to be.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 04 2021
A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.
He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
π︎ 107
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
I used to know an unpredictable photographer
he was a real loose Canon
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
Did you hear about the naked photographer who was taking timelapses in the Arctic?
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 04 2020
My friend the photographer always trims the outer edges of his pictures to be curved so that every edge is equidistant from the center...
He liked making crop circles.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a photographer.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Jul 29 2019
Why are photographers so hesitant to get into a relationship?
They're interested in developing one, but can't stop focusing on all the negatives.
π︎ 599
π
︎ Sep 29 2018
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 15 2020
Today I found out hunters and photographers have a lot in common
They both sit and wait in bushes to shoot animals
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Kid: how are photographers born?
Dad: Well son, when a paparazzi and a mamarazzi love each other very much...
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
Everyone has a photographic memory...
Some people just donβt have film.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 17 2020
What is the best quality to use when photographing forks?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
If you want to make easy money, just take photographs of salmon dressed in suits, and sell them online.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
π︎ 43
π
︎ Jul 18 2019
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
I have a photographic memory
It's just not developed yet
π︎ 66
π
︎ Sep 30 2020
Are people born with photographic memories...
....Or do they take a while to develop?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
A friend of mine is making easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
I was born with a photographic mind.
It just took some time to develop.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
You can't not say it
In a freak accident today,a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair,the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
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