I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,

but we're okay now.

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👤︎ u/CNRavenclaw
📅︎ Sep 11 2020
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Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"

Me : "Who? Me or me?"

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👤︎ u/Allgen
📅︎ May 27 2020
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"I have a split personality disorder"

Said Tom being Frank

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👤︎ u/TheViralClovers
📅︎ Jul 27 2020
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What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?

Bananas

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👤︎ u/boboknowsall
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once

"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.

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👤︎ u/theverywetbanana
📅︎ Feb 28 2020
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Sometimes when houses have personality disorders...

They develop attic.

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👤︎ u/ponderingfox
📅︎ Apr 07 2018
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Why can't a cyclops have multiple personality disorder?

Because it has only one I.

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📅︎ Jun 19 2017
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What do you call it when a priest has multiple personality disorder?

They've got an altar ego.

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👤︎ u/Dimentioze
📅︎ Dec 28 2014
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I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has narcissistic personality disorder.

I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.

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📅︎ Oct 14 2014
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I have a multi-personality disorder

And so do I

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👤︎ u/mariataytay
📅︎ Aug 15 2013
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Did you hear that Lionel Richie's wife has multiple personality disorder?

Apparently she is once, twice, three times a lady!

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👤︎ u/HardlyNetworking
📅︎ Jun 23 2014
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What do you call when two persons with multiple identity disorder fall in love with each other

An open relationship

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👤︎ u/doktorstrange7
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ May 17 2020
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What do you call it when a llama has an identity crisis?

Spit-Personality Disorder.

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👤︎ u/YJ-over
📅︎ Nov 29 2019
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I always knew there was something wrong with my mother in law's dog. I'm no psychologist, but...

It clearly has maltipoo personality disorder.

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👤︎ u/cl350rg
📅︎ Nov 21 2017
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