Peeves Puns

but my wife said I’m not allowed to have any pet Peeves.

Me: I have a lot of pet peeves. Him: How do you feed them all? Me: Facepalm. Slow chuckle.

I tell them because that's my pet peeve.

Some people think that’s a weird pet, but my buddy Peeve is all I’ve got.

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

Then the clean version of fucking is friction.

And he’s my best friend

I have no words to describe how peeved I am!

That way he will be my pet, Peeve.

Meet Peeve

Mangoes does favorite restaurant, finds himself a table and places his order with a waiter. While he is sitting there waiting for his food a large black and white bear like mammal stands up, wipes some crumbs from the corners of his mouth, pulls out a gun, and fires a few rounds into the ceiling and the back wall of the dining room. When the waiter comes with the man's meal the man asks him, "What was that about?" The waiter replies, "Oh, that? That was a panda. It's in their nature. Look it up." The man pulls his phone out and searches "panda" the definition reads, "Panda a large black and white bear like mammal. Eats shoots and leaves.

Disclaimer: I love this one but the bad punctuation element of it peeves me a bit.

He placed 30 silver coins as a bounty, and was peeved after a month had passed and nobody had taken the offer. He inquired to his squire, who responded that nobody would undergo such an unpleasant pheasant hunt for such a poultry sum.

I guess you could say it's a pet peeve.

Probably shouldn't have named him Peeve.

So, as the title says, a new dad moved in next door with his young wife and infant son.

All the houses in the neighborhood are fairly modest and perfect for new families and first time homebuyers, so we get a lot of those.

As they were unloading, I decided to do the neighborly thing and quickly introduce myself without getting too much in their way.

While we were chatting, his wife comes out with the LARGEST great dane I’ve ever seen.

The shock on my face must’ve been obvious because he quickly explained, with a bit of an annoyed tone, “Yea, that’s my wife’s dog. I still have my childhood cat, but now this is my biggest pet, Peeve.”

“Come say hello, Peeve!”

As out cat sad meowing at out dinner table my wife looked at me and said "I hate when she does that its like my biggest pet, peeve" the she started giggling. It makes me proud to know she's ready for our baby to be here in a few weeks.

"I want to get a dog and name it 'Peeve,' that way I can have a pet Peeve."

My mom, dad, and I are sitting in the living room reading and whatnot. We're talking about going on a drive later when my mom says, "One of my pet peeves is when people incorrectly use up and down for going places. I had to bite my tongue this week because a coworker said he was going up to the Seward office when it's south of of us. Up is north, down is south. But I didn't want to belittle him." So my dad says, "Why? Because he is bipolar?"

He's my pet peeve.

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

So that I can introduce it as my pet, Peeve

Peeve

It's my biggest pet peeve.