Parental Alienation Syndrome Puns

Parental Alienation Syndrome https://youtu.be/GvEmvPzDwnQ

Is there any possible legal way that my husband who has two children from his prior marriage can get a leg up to be able to see his son? The kid is 18 now unfortunately but it’s inherently obvious how badly he’s been brainwashed and abused to the point where he won’t even listen to my husband or see him now bc of the lies his mother spews out. Is there anything we can do to shut his ex wife down so that way my husband can actually have access to his kids? And if not from a legal standpoint is there a way my husband can get thru to his kid?

My therapist wants me to believe that my feelings are "valid" and matter just because I feel them. That the question shouldn't be whether it was "bad enough" to justify them. But that was the opposite of the message that I received at the time.

My dread and terror at having to spend time with my father didn't matter. It was evidence that my mother was brainwashing me. My feelings weren't real and I want supposed to feel that way. I couldn't prove that my father's behavior was "bad enough" to justify them. He didn't hit me, and therefore I didn't have the right to feel that way. The fact that I felt that way was something to be fixed.

The family therapist constantly questioned and delegitimized my feelings. The judge agreed. My anger was used against me. It was evidence that I had been turned against my father and was being irrational and unfair.

The fact that I spent three days leading up to spending time with my father overcome with dread and self harming to cope with it was not sufficient. If I couldn't exactly explain what my father did that was so objectively wrong, my feelings didn't count.

But even then my descriptions weren't enough. If I said he got angry and yelled, that wasn't bad enough, and he could always downplay it after the fact. If I used metaphorical language to explain how it felt to have a grown man screaming in rage inches away from my face when I was backed into a corner and not allowed to leave, well I was exaggerating when I said it felt violent and I felt attacked. And my mom used those same words to describe what it felt like to be on the receiving end of my father's rage, so clearly she was feeding me lies.

My mom wasn't supposed to speak ill of my father. So when I went to her for validation of my experiences she would ask me to just placate my father. She had to make me go back there every week, otherwise the court saw it as further evidence of parental alienation. So everyone was telling me my feelings were wrong and something to be suppressed and ignored. Just tough it out. Don't fight with your father. Any time I tried to talk about how I felt the response was to try to correct my feelings. The stronger my feelings were, the more irrational I was being.

Trying to get validation or support from my mom or trying to stay at her house when I was supposed to go to my father's was hurting her case in court and putting her in a difficult position. So caring about my own feelings and looking for support was selfish and

What is it with parental alienation or one parent trying to make themselves out to be the only “fit” or capable parent or parent that matters in their child’s life.. in my case, and probably most of us, it’s the bm(s) that are guilty of that. I guess that’s called the “golden uterus” syndrome, where there’s such a sense of entitlement from giving birth that they think they are the only ones who have a say or know how to parent. When bm talks to dh about their daughter, it’s “MY daughter” not “OUR daughter”. She never has once given my husband a say in her health care even when he pays 100% of insurance, medical costs and CS, doesn’t tell him about events at her school or sports activities that she’s involved in, he’s “allowed” time with his daughter (not encouraged), if we say we’re going to take her to a lake for a family bbq, we can’t let her swim in the water because someone wont be there to watch her as if we’re negligent or incapable of watching a 9 year old child. I just don’t get it. It’s as if he’s good enough to hand over money, but not much more than that. Sorry, just something that I’ve noticed over time (and know others going through it too) and it’s only getting worse. Makes me wonder what they think they will accomplish through it. It is so frustrating and sad to see and deal with.

Reading lots of articles about Parental Alienation Syndrome/Malicious Mother Syndrome and getting a much better understanding of the STBX's strategy against me. I was foolish enough to agree to reconcile after she filed papers the first time so she returned to live with me in the family house. She will lurk in the background and wait for me to do literally anything with the kids and then immediately jump in to criticize what I've done. She withholds information about the kids from me, refuses to share other parents's contact information for play dates, and I'm sure she's feeding the kids lies about me when I'm not around. I volunteered to coach both kid's soccer teams and when she shows up my son will run to the sidelines and not play as he knows she will let him. She will bend any rule to make the kids more dependent on her and to maker her the 'favorite'. I do almost all of the grocery shopping and cooking, and when i try to feed the kids anything nutritious she will swoop in and offer mac and cheese, PB&Js, etc.

I don't want to leave the house as I'm the only one contributing to it financially and I'm sure she would try to stop me from coming back and stop me from seeing the kids.

I am a very involved father and seeing the effect this is having on my relationship with my kids is absolutely killing me. I continue to take the high road and either ignore her attempts to belittle me or calmly ask her to stop. Does anyone have any advice on how to protect my kids from this? I will be setting up another expensive consultation with the lawyer as next steps - anything else i should do?

When a narcissist hates someone they brainwash their kids into hating them too. So if the Nparent hates their spouse, a grandparent, etc they brainwash the kids into hating that person too.

I'm sure it happened for Alot of people here.

What woke you up to the fact that the narcissist was the bad guy, not the person they were brainwashing you against? How old were you when you woke up to it?

What if anything could have been done to wake you up earlier to it?

Were you able to repair and rebuild the relationship with the person they turned you against? If so, what helped you reconnect?

my parents divorced when I was a child and I grew up with constant anxiety and sadness. my mother and nfather constantly pitted us kids and used us to hurt the other parent. the hard part for me is now as an adult child of that abuse, i am now really starting to see it more clearly and understanding the feelings i still deal with on a daily basis. i have very strong feelings of hatred towards my father now who is a shell of a man and oozes anger and rage. i am 50 and struggle with self doubt, anger, rage, self sabotaging behaviors, addictions. i am getting clean again, 19 days clean today. i have found that the only time that i can work on correcting any of these problems in my life is when i am clean. when i relapse and use drugs to dull and numb the pain, i only delay any growth i may have made while in recovery.

it is extremely difficult and painful to make these discoveries but there is a measure of gratitude of being able to make these painful discoveries. my ndad is in his 70's now and still uses all his alienating techniques to continue to conquer and divide. you would think at his age, he would mellow and have some measure of self awareness or self reflection and see some of the pain and anguish he causes me and my siblings. alot of my situation is textbook material of narcissism. it is extremely painful for me to make the decision to go NC, currently i am very LC and live 8 hours away from my ndad. i did go NC with my borderline mother 10 years ago, and unfortunately i have no regrets. i feel like if i were being honest with myself that i am just waiting for my nfather to die. he is in terrible health, all because of his own addictions to cigarettes and gambling.

thank you for letting me share. this is my first post and i would really welcome any feedback or if my story helps anyone else, or if anyone can relate. i feel i have found some valuable tools here that i can work with to help me recover in my life. i have a beautiful 10 year old son that i am trying desperately to turn my life around for. i want him to have the father i never had.

A couple of years ago I ran away from my ndad and went to live with my mother full time. My ndad abused me mostly emotionally but also physically sometimes.

A couple of months ago my dad and I were texting for some reason and he send me a wiki page about Parental Alienation Syndrome and he says I have it. Since then it has crossed my mind a couple of times. Is he right? Afaik my mom always supported me in my decisions about him but she never really influenced my opinion on him I think. She always wanted me and my dad to have a good relationship yet my dad accuses her of brainwashing me into thinking he's an abuser.

I've been thinking about posting here for a while now, but I just don't really know what to think of all this. I'm pretty sure it was him that made me think that he was an abuser and not my mom. I didn't make up all the times he abused me right?

I feel conflicted now because of this.

Posting under a throwaway for obvious reasons.

My wife's mom divorced her husband and when I first met her she had 0 good things to say about her dad. She was brainwashed from a young age to believe that her dad just drastically changed somehow and that the poor mother had no choice but to divorce this neglecting, withdrawan, abandoning, unloving man who rejected both her and her children. The mom has a completely skewed perception of reality and is always the victim, berates and accuses people at the slightest sign of cricicism, is reluctant to take responsibility for her immature behavior, injects an accusatory tone into most of her conversations, whines constantly (even at the age of 45), and "is the way she is so take it or leave it (paraphrasing)."

After spending time with both parents, it's pretty obvious the wife repelled the husband, poisoned the marriage with her own delusional sociopathy, manipulation, and narcissism, and his withdrawal was more of a resignation and symptom of problems that she was a major part of. The dad has his issues too, but the mom's view of reality is completely warped.

Anyway, my wife needs help. She's insecure of even the slightest notion of healthy space since that feels like I'm being her abandoning dad. It's suffocating and she does the guilt trippy abandonment accusation thing in either subtle or overt ways. We've had sex every day for at least a week straight and she finds a way to complain that I'm not heeding her advances and not prioritizing her, even though I spend HOURS patiently sweet talking her as she asks, giving her romantic evenings as she asks, cuddling etc with her as she asks, trying to reason with her and correct her skewed version of reality while I fall even farther behind on my work. When I try to reason she resorts to extremes or tries to elicit sympathy. Here is a synopsis of a recent conversation

• Her: I know we have sex basically every day, but you reject me when I advance on you. Why don't you want me? You should want me, you're a guy, otherwise there's something wrong with me.

• Me: We have a lot of sex. I'm grateful for what I have, not ungrateful for what I don't have. I have other priorities and try to balance them.

• Her: now I feel like a terrible ungrateful person. I just give up. I'm going to stop asking for sex. Then she gets pouty and resigned.

That's they type of extreme/exaggeration she resorts to and failure to see simple things.

Another example:

• Her: hunny, i like q

I thought I would shed some light on a huge cause of mental and emotional abuse that affects practically all step children to some degree.

I believe as stepparents, it is our jobs, along with our partners, to spot these warning signs and act upon them accordingly. Even though the best thing we can do is wait it out, it is important for us to know that THIS is WHY we need to wait it out

Excerpt: "Top actions of an alienating parent"

-Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones)

-Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc)

-Limits child’s cellphone and computer usage, so you’ll rarely get a call, text, or email

-Refers to you by your first name in their home (Dad becomes “David;” Mom becomes “Julie”)

-Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives

-Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding even civil conversations with you

-Pops anti-depressant pills (as many have a history of depression)

-Able to hold resentment towards young, innocent children (ie, your children from another marriage)

-Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school

-Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t feel comfortable about the duration of our summer visitation, Dad”

-Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being

-Labels themselves the “good” parent; labels you the “bad” parent

-Tells the child false stories about their childhood

-Tells the child in vivid detail how he or she was victimized by you (while taking no blame at all for the divorce)

-Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn)

-Diminishes your extended family’s worth

-Neglects to have the child call you for your birthday, on New Year’s Eve, or other important dates

-Refuses to help the child reach and call/email/mail cards on relatives’ birthdays on your side of the family tree

-Uses child’s cellphone as a leash

-Rarely if ever a call to you on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day on behalf of child

-Never gets the child excited about seeing you

-Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them

-Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people)

-Attempts via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards

-Takes the child out of state with