The start of my every last paragraph of my essays.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/osksama1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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I think I have a fetish for the last paragraph in an essay

I just came to that conclusion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterChaser
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I just typed up a strongly worded complaint using paragraph formatting tools ...

It was entirely justified!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf

...but I don't want to jump to conclusionsο»Ώ.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Why are Mexican boys known as paragraphs?

Because they are too short to be an esΓ©

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
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My girlfriend was writing a bunch of boring reflection paragraphs for class

She says, "I can't even spell anymore!"

Me: "A-N-Y-M-O-R-E"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/circuits_are_love
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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What do you call an esse that isn’t fully developed?

A paragraph

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSinkingShit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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*Meglovania intensifies
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StealthViper518
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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What do you call a short mexican?

A paragraph, because hes too short to be an esse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AgamGamez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Worth the read...

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.

Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution.

For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back.

To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now."

Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless. The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KT11616
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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What do you call a midget Mexican?

A paragraph because he’s not a full essay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/happytimehero
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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A beautiful tradition

Martial arts is as much spiritual training as it is physical training. In fact, there is a school of martial arts in Korea where practitioners would spend large portions of the day just meditating.

As they train their spirits to ponder over their place in the universe, the practitioners would also train their bodies to forgo the needs of the physical world. The practitioners would endure days on end without sleep, and live on a single loaf of bread for an entire month.

As they meditate, they would repeat the mantra: β€œI am one with the universe, it sleeps not so I shall not sleep. This bread is my only worldly attachment but I shall only TAKE ONE DOUGH”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlemagnalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
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What do you call a dwarf from mexico?

A paragraph, because he's only a short ese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooliomydood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Pun Request: Horse-related

Our senior quotes are paragraphs this year, and I want to make a paragraph about my horseback riding that's full of horse puns. Can anyone help me out?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/axtumn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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An unbridled masterpiece of a horse pun to one of my students this morning. It's a long setup, but dads will appreciate it. This one really happened as written.

So, I'm a Spanish professor, and I gave a final exam this morning. One of the last parts was that students had to write a paragraph using reflexive verbs in which they describe their daily routine. Since the class only had nine students in it, I told them that if they wanted to wait, I would grade their exams for them and tell them their class grade.

It was an open-book final exam (11 pages long), so I was in my office, and a graduating senior finished first and gave me her exam. When I got to her paragraph, I saw that she had written in Spanish that every day she woke up, got up, took a shower, got dressed, brushed her teeth, ate breakfast, and then she and her friend Emmy went horseback riding. Now, I knew that she didn't go horseback riding, ever, but that it was vocabulary from the previous chapter. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Horseback riding? Really?
Her: Yep!
Me: Every day?
Her: Yep!
Me: Every single day?
Her: SΓ­, SeΓ±or.
Me: I guess you could call it a stable routine then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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My kid turned the tables on me.

Dad: What was your essay on on school today? Kid: It was not an essay it was a paragraph. Dad: What was your paragraph on? Kid: Loose Leaf.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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Asked my boyfriend a question.

What do you call a Mexican with dwarfism?

A paragraph, cause he's too short to be an ese.

He groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flame_in_darkness
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2015
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Girlfriend coming over

I live with my Dad, and my girlfriends coming over for a few days. I asked my dad if that was okay.

Me: So it's okay for her to come stay?

Dad: Yeah sure, but what are you going to do?

Me: Huh?

Dad: Well you're going to have to find something to do with yourself...

Me: Whyyy?

Dad: Well if she's coming over to see me for a few days I don't want you hanging around.

Me: -_-

Edit: Word and paragraphs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RBII
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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Holy Tech Scripture

I was reading a Cisco study guide when I said to my 11 YO son: "A reading from the book of Cisco." I then read a single paragraph to him. Afterward, I said, "The word of Cisco."

Son: "Thanks be to Geeks."

Thanks son! You're on your way!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrenkm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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Sister-jokes still count, right?

What do you call a midget Mexican?

A paragraph, because he's half an esΓ©.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twilexis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2017
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A soccer referee told me this one during my game an hour ago

(A bit of context first, but you can skip this paragraph if you want). An hour or so ago, I was playing a div 1 co-ed soccer game. Since our captain wasn't there, I was the one talking to the ref, signing the game sheet, providing the game ball, and all that. At some point during the game, one of our guys shot the ball and it rebounded off, giving us a corner. However, none of our guys were going to get the ball as if they thought it was the other team's ball. I yelled at my team "Guys, it's our corner!"

The ref turned to me and laughed, and said "They need to concentrate". I said "No kidding, huh?" He then turned to me with a pre-dadjoke smile and asked me "Why didn't the orange juice pass its exam? ... It couldn't concentrate."

It was in that moment that I knew this grey haired, bearded man was a father of at least one child. He didn't even look back for a reaction, he just turned with his dad smile, knowing full well that the joke has merit enough on its own regardless of a reaction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearkin1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
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The author of my history book is a dad for sure

One of the several excellent puns I have come across: "And then Mary made her only serious- her fatal- error: she died"

Needless to say, my concentration was shot for a few more paragraphs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/austintexan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
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(x-post from /r/pics) Dad Joke in Self-Written Obituary

http://i.imgur.com/TAQtabb.jpg

Check out the third column, first full paragraph.

Original post: http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/201xze/in_honor_of_my_fantastic_grandfather_who_passed/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bugzzzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
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What do you call a Mexican midget?

Paragraph, cause he’s not a full essay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloth3332a
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph, because hes too short to be an essay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLAZEtms
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph. They’re too short to be an ese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheeese9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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What do you call a Mexican midget?

You call him paragraph. He is too short to be called essay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0CerealKiller0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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What do you call a short Mexican?

A paragraph because they are to short to be an essay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raccoon_29
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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What do you call a Latino midget?

Paragraph...too short to be an ese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burny60
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph. Because he is not a full essay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NavGunz4512
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2018
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What do you call a Mexican midget?

a paragraph because he's not a full essay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HomelessFuneral
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2015
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