Panamanian Capital Puns

Nice collection of pieces on Crypto Capital from decrypt.co.

Apparently the CEO of Crypto Capital was arrested 2 months ago, he was only arraigned yesterday. Several other principals in the company are incarcerated, and the assets have mostly been seized. At this point, I'd say it's somewhat likely that Bitfinex is a zombie corporation, being run by a state interest as a honeypot and/or a tool for rigging markets.

There seems to be a lot of Canadians who are still on the fence regarding DRS it seems and personally I don't blame you. There is a lot of hype and misinformation going around so it's hard to know what to believe. So lets have a civil discussion amongst each other and weigh the pros and cons to each. I'll get the discussion going and I encourage everyone to do their own research. Even more so, I encourage people to find holes in my discussion points because at the end of the day, I'm also here to learn just like the rest of you. None of this is financial advice blah blah blah blah you do what you want with your life.

Pros of Brokers

• If you are Canadian you can hold shares in the TFSA for tax-free trendies (hopefully). This might be one of the single greatest tax-shelters ever created in the entire world apart from living in Monaco or being Panamanian /S.
• Potentially easier to sell and settle money. I've never sold stocks on Computershare so I can't speak on it's simplicity (I will discuss this later) but selling shares and having money land in my accounts is very easy and straightforward though a broker.

Cons of Brokers

• Brokers have ABSOLUTELY fucked over retail investors in the past...who's to say they won't do it again?

1. Example 1: They turned off the buy button and restricted retail investors to trade Gamestop. This one should be obvious so I won't go into too much detail on it.
2. Example 2: Brokers hold shares in the street name, you do not own your shares. I will discuss why this is important below with an example.
   1. In 2005 a company operating under CMKM discovered over 68 Billion phantom shares were circulating amongst brokerages. When a DTC withdrawal was initiated, brokers began deleting the synthetic shares from investor's accounts or told them they could not direct register and instead issues physical certificates to themselves. They took investors money and took away their shares. I encourage you to read this on your own time as you will find some VERY familiar brokers that fucked over shareholders here. Before someone comes in and says: "But this situation is different than GME, they're not comparable companies. The fact of the matter is the brokers still deleted shares and fucked over investors. Source: Pages 208-227 of Dr. Susanne Trimbath’s book “Naked, Short and Greedy" [https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/rxv5xd/will_your_broker_fuck_you_when_shit_hits_the_fan/?utm_source=share&utm_medium

Memphis is playing a game called fuck, marry, conversation, and has chosen Hamza for two of the three.

“I am not trying to talk to that man,” Memphis clarifies. “I talked to my last husband. He’s watching the kids right now. Marriage 3 is for the D.”

“Memphis have big boobies,” Hamza agrees.

Hamza’s mom, Hayet, is wise to the previous night’s scandalous fluid exchange, because Memphis barked SEXY TIME 26 times before she was awarded exactly one mattress squeak. Memphis plans to approach the issue they created by creating a second: Lies. She tells Hamza to tell his mom that they briefly held hands while watching Yellowstone, and then fell into easy conversation using the universal language of math. They were so relaxed in the arms of equations that they couldn’t help but drift off, and the next thing they knew it was morning and, what the Black Mirror? their clothing had run off their bodies. Hamza hustles outside the bedroom to prove he’s as good at lying as Memphis is at making sense.

“Did you fall in the shower?” Hayet is astonished her son thinks she’d believe this yarn.

“No, it is like, we are so, yeah, so okay,” Hamza, master of disguise.

Memphis quickly checks in with the concierge at Hotel Mom to make sure it’s still okay to file herself under Jenny. Memphis listens long enough to deduce there won’t be any violence, and then she and Hamza take off to review his sexiness.

“Well, now that you have the job, I’d like to go over your resume,” Memphis begins. “How many people have you been with before?”

“FiVe?!” You sit on a throne of lies, Hamza.

“Are you sure? I’m checking references.”

“Yes, okay,” Hamza is starting to perspire.

“When was the last time?”

“I had sex!” Hamza just wants to make sure we caught that part.

“It was too fast and jerky. We were in a bedroom, not a bathroom stall.” Memphis needs to be heard.

“Do these lights have to be so hot?” This is the most stressful interrogation of Hamza’s life. “It’s just that she’s so sexy. Can you translate this, so she’ll be maybe be happy-offended?”

“Sex is very important to me in a marriage,” NO SHIT MEMPHIS REALLY? “That’s why I plan to never hit menopause or suffer crippling depression. I expect the same from Hamza. He’s a very good looking man.”

“But men that look like that are always terrible at sex,” Fuck-Machine Gino is here with the facts, licking an ice cream cone with that fucking hat on. “This ice cream reminds me of paste, which reminds me of mayonnaise, so of course

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

PART 2.

Source: https://www.sec.gov/rules/proposed/s72303/decosta122203.htm

Comments of Dr. Jim DeCosta and Associates on S7-19-03

As the DTCC is now hell-bent on Straight Through Processing wherein the trade date IS the settlement date, please design the new rules with that in mind, as the integrity of the process will go right out the window if you don't. Our advice is to slow down and do it right.

18. In endnote #50 you state that, "The NSCC currently tracks this information on fails to deliver and provides it to the NASD for purposes of administering NASD Rule 11830". (The mandated buy-in rule) How can neither the NSCC nor the NASD, two SROs, being fully aware of these "fails" and "masked fails", not warn naive investors that they are walking into an ambush when they buy shares of "xyz" when there is a 200% naked short position at the NSCC? At what level of failed deliveries or cover-up loans do the alarms and red lights go off? Are there alarms and red lights in existence for somebody to monitor? Are there employees of the DTCC and or broker-dealer's Compliance Offices commissioned to monitor the age and quantities of failed deliveries? Shouldn't "good delivery" be more than an instantaneous blip on a computer screen that can get "undone" five minutes later?

The criminal activity being disguised as "shareholder advocacy" needs to be recognized for what it really is. Individuals hiding behind the anonymity provided by the Internet and First Amendment rights to free speech are acting as co-conspirators in this fraud. Only bona fide MMs can legally sell shares without borrowing and this applies to only when they are acting in the capacity of a bona fide MM. Bona fide MMs just don't hire co-conspirators to "bash" the stocks that they are naked short, racketeers do this. They don't "rent out" the lack of necessity to borrow before selling shares, as provided by Rule 3370, with those they are in collusion with or acting in complicity with.

19. Please note the wording of Addendum C to the rules and regulations of the NSCC as it pertains to when these counterfeit electronic book entries should be cleared up. We're trying to get a handle on what "when the amount of securities within the system at the DTCC is above and beyond what is needed for the normal clearing and settlement functions" really means. Just where would these mystery securities arrive from? The "D" sub accounts hou

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

# Qatar 3 – 3 Panama

Qatar scorers: Akram Afif (48'), Almoez Ali (53'), Hassan Al-Haydos (63' pen.)

Panama scorers: Rolando Blackburn (51', 58'), Eric Davis (79' pen.)

# MATCH INFORMATION

Competition: CONCACAF Gold Cup - Group D

Venue: BBVA Stadium, Houston, Texas, USA

Kickoff: 19:50 CST / 20:50 EST / 00:50 UTC / Find your timezone (delayed from 18:00 CST due to weather)

TV: Find your channel here

Referees: César Ramos (MEX) - Alberto Morín (MEX) - Miguel Hernández (MEX) - Bryan López (GUA)

#GROUP D LIVE STANDINGS

Advance to knockout stage Live

# LINEUPS

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Memphis is playing a game called fuck, marry, conversation, and has chosen Hamza for two of the three.

“I am not trying to talk to that man,” Memphis clarifies. “I talked to my last husband. He’s watching the kids right now. Marriage 3 is for the D.”

“Memphis have big boobies,” Hamza agrees.

Hamza’s mom, Hayet, is wise to the previous night’s scandalous fluid exchange, because Memphis barked SEXY TIME 26 times before she was awarded exactly one mattress squeak. Memphis plans to approach the issue they created by creating a second: Lies. She tells Hamza to tell his mom that they briefly held hands while watching Yellowstone, and then fell into easy conversation using the universal language of math. They were so relaxed in the arms of equations that they couldn’t help but drift off, and the next thing they knew it was morning and, what the Black Mirror? their clothing had run off their bodies. Hamza hustles outside the bedroom to prove he’s as good at lying as Memphis is at making sense.

“Did you fall in the shower?” Hayet is astonished her son thinks she’d believe this yarn.

“No, it is like, we are so, yeah, so okay,” Hamza, master of disguise.

Memphis quickly checks in with the concierge at Hotel Mom to make sure it’s still okay to file herself under Jenny. Memphis listens long enough to deduce there won’t be any violence, and then she and Hamza take off to review his sexiness.

“Well, now that you have the job, I’d like to go over your resume,” Memphis begins. “How many people have you been with before?”

“FiVe?!” You sit on a throne of lies, Hamza.

“Are you sure? I’m checking references.”

“Yes, okay,” Hamza is starting to perspire.

“When was the last time?”

“I had sex!” Hamza just wants to make sure we caught that part.

“It was too fast and jerky. We were in a bedroom, not a bathroom stall.” Memphis needs to be heard.

“Do these lights have to be so hot?” This is the most stressful interrogation of Hamza’s life. “It’s just that she’s so sexy. Can you translate this, so she’ll be maybe be happy-offended?”

“Sex is very important to me in a marriage,” NO SHIT MEMPHIS REALLY? “That’s why I plan to never hit menopause or suffer crippling depression. I expect the same from Hamza. He’s a very good looking man.”

“But men that look like that are always terrible at sex,” Fuck-Machine Gino is here with the facts, licking an ice cream cone with that fucking hat on. “This ice cream reminds me of paste, which reminds me of mayonnaise, so of course

Memphis is playing a game called fuck, marry, conversation, and has chosen Hamza for two of the three.

“I am not trying to talk to that man,” Memphis clarifies. “I talked to my last husband. He’s watching the kids right now. Marriage 3 is for the D.”

“Memphis have big boobies,” Hamza agrees.

Hamza’s mom, Hayet, is wise to the previous night’s scandalous fluid exchange, because Memphis barked SEXY TIME 26 times before she was awarded exactly one mattress squeak. Memphis plans to approach the issue they created by creating a second: Lies. She tells Hamza to tell his mom that they briefly held hands while watching Yellowstone, and then fell into easy conversation using the universal language of math. They were so relaxed in the arms of equations that they couldn’t help but drift off, and the next thing they knew it was morning and, what the Black Mirror? their clothing had run off their bodies. Hamza hustles outside the bedroom to prove he’s as good at lying as Memphis is at making sense.

“Did you fall in the shower?” Hayet is astonished her son thinks she’d believe this yarn.

“No, it is like, we are so, yeah, so okay,” Hamza, master of disguise.

Memphis quickly checks in with the concierge at Hotel Mom to make sure it’s still okay to file herself under Jenny. Memphis listens long enough to deduce there won’t be any violence, and then she and Hamza take off to review his sexiness.

“Well, now that you have the job, I’d like to go over your resume,” Memphis begins. “How many people have you been with before?”

“FiVe?!” You sit on a throne of lies, Hamza.

“Are you sure? I’m checking references.”

“Yes, okay,” Hamza is starting to perspire.

“When was the last time?”

“I had sex!” Hamza just wants to make sure we caught that part.

“It was too fast and jerky. We were in a bedroom, not a bathroom stall.” Memphis needs to be heard.

“Do these lights have to be so hot?” This is the most stressful interrogation of Hamza’s life. “It’s just that she’s so sexy. Can you translate this, so she’ll be maybe be happy-offended?”

“Sex is very important to me in a marriage,” NO SHIT MEMPHIS REALLY? “That’s why I plan to never hit menopause or suffer crippling depression. I expect the same from Hamza. He’s a very good looking man.”

“But men that look like that are always terrible at sex,” Fuck-Machine Gino is here with the facts, licking an ice cream cone with that fucking hat on. “This ice cream reminds me of paste, which reminds me of mayonnaise, so of course

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

A play on words.