Oy vey
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2022
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Oy vey
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sh_t72
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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Oy vey!

Being the hostess of Thanksgivikkah dinner this year, I made a little speech about how blessed I was and how I loved everyone at our table. Dad said I should have started with a joke and then offered this one up:

"A rabbi, a minister, and a priest walk into a bar. The bar tender says, 'what is this? A joke'"!

Happy Thanksgiving!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gonzoparenting
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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Oy...

My dad and I were taking the dogs for a walk at night and one of them ran into a tire. My dad's response:

"I guess he's a little tired!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LuckyStruck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2014
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A JUICE without ICE
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PointySalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2021
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If cats started a communist revolution, what would their leader be called?

>!Meow Zedong!<

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Truthseeker1969
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2022
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British python devs be like

" oy that's a constructor, init"

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mashmelo78
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2022
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My wife is losing 30 pounds a week ater joining the gym!

Hopefully she'll loose some weight soon as well

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamnotchip12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2022
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What did the Indian child say to their mother when she was about to leave the house?

Nah ma, stay

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EDH_10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2022
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A Jewish man walks into a bar

mitzvah, where he is welcomed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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What's an "oying"?

This joke...

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2016
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A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.

The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. " Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? "

Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
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What do Jews put on their Chinese food?

Oy sauce!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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The true beauty of a pun

Rests in the β€œoy” of the beholder.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHK1961
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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Dad-joked by a toilet

For all of my life, my brain has played a soundtrack. At all times, in all places, I hear music going through my head, from the moment I awaken in the morning until I go to sleep at night. I can only shut it off by listening to other music, watching a movie, etc. but it soon starts up again once the outside source of stimulus is removed.

Yesterday I was travelling. When I visited the restroom prior to boarding my flight, the the music in my head suddenly switched tracks from "I've Been Everywhere Man" (that got really old after the first hour. Oy!) to "Africa" by Toto. "That's odd", I thought to myself, "the music in my head usually doesn't switch tracks unless something has changed around me." I finished my business, cleaned up, stood up, and turned around to flush.

Then I saw it. There, emblazoned on the porcelain, was the word "TOTO". The manufacturer of the toilet. "Nice job, brain, funny, hah-hah," I thought to myself.

The song in my head came to an abrupt halt. Silence, for just one moment. Blessed silence. Rare for me. Then I realized. My brain was giving me time to digest the previous joke. Waiting for me to think I'd arrived at the punch line. Pausing for a beat before it delivered the next one. "Africa" started over again, telling me exactly why the DJ deciding songs in my head had picked this exact moment, this exquisite situation, this exact set of circumstances to deliver the internal Dad Joke of the year:

"Doodoo doo-doo doodoo do dooooooooo...."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/txgsync
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2016
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Every time we go out to eat

My dad has certain lines that he likes, and he uses them over and over again. Whenever we're eating and someone says "Oy, I'm full." My dad replies "Full of what? Hah." Every time.

The worst part, I've heard this so many times that this is now MY first thought when someone says they're full!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fourfourjew
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
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I love my dad's humor

My parents are heading up to NY on vacation together. We have a group text that has my parents, my wife and I, my brother and his fiancee, and my sister. All day, half the family has been traveling for either work of vacation, so there have been a lot of texts about when people have boarded their flights or landed at their layovers of destinations. After 2 hours without any texts, here are the latest two texts we all got:

Mom: We got to NY!

Dad: Glad to hear it!

(remember, they're traveling together. Oy)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattProducer
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2016
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1001 Dad Jokes: 5th edition
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ayellellwhyesesay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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A termite walked into a bar

And asked, "Is the bartender here?"

... Took me a minute. Oy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PibRm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2014
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My step-father has been trying out dad jokes.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/step-dad-joke
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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