I call my shins Oscar Meyer

Because they're below knee

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Malurra
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Did you hear about the Pokemon Trainer who got an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony?

Looks like EGOT 'em all.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tehmayormccheese
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I just found out The Oscars arenโ€™t real

The audience is full of paid actors.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mfitzy87
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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If you win a Oscar Mayer weinermobile your are the

Weiner

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/YouhaveLigma21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Iโ€™m not surprised Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, its an offally good film

Iโ€™ll get my coat

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dogburster
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Can anyone explain why last nightโ€™s Oscars were only a minute and a half?

I didnโ€™t watch but heard something on the news about the 92nd Oscars ceremony last night.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rememberthemallomar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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What should be the 2017 Oscars La la Land - Moonlight controversy renamed as?

DilEmma

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/engineerwho_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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The Oscar winner for Best Picture is a Bong hit.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/centuryeyes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Did you guys hear they're making the Oscars significantly shorter this year?

It's the 90 second Academy Awards.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TenFlyingBricks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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Have you heard about Honeyland, the Oscar-nominated documentary about Macedonian beekeepers?

It has great buzz

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AndyCircus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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An Oscar Wilde card contender.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Congratulations to director Domee Shee and her Pixar crew for winning Best Animated Short at the Oscars!

Well deserved. Take a Bao.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cracksilog
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Why did the scarecrow win an Oscar?

He was outstanding in his field.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/teshlord44
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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The Oscar Meier Weiner mobile was pulled over by the police.

charge: driving erotically

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pumpdawg88
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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Jeff Dunham is going to host the Oscars this year

Itโ€™ll be the Acadummy Awards

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/incenseandelephants
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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Monet never liked his cat Oscar

Because Oscar Claude Monet

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gareththegood
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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Oscar Party Appetizers imgur.com/gallery/YkC05
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chattahoochee
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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Every time I make a poop joke, Oscar Wilde rolls in his grave.

I should probably stop pooping there.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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In honor of J.K. Simmons winning his Oscar for Whiplash...
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Simpsolover
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
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Jordan Peele just won an Oscar?

Get out

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheMeowMeow
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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Watching the Oscars, I said this to my wife.

That was nice of Ellen to bring out those pizzas. I've always thought she was very Degeneres.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SlimJD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2014
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Watching the Oscars...

Jimmy Kimmel: "Let me introduce a former Pro Wrestler who is now one of the highest paid actors in America... The Rock"

Girlfriend: "Oh I love The Rock! Who doesn't love the Rock?!"

Me: "The Scissors..."

Girlfriend: -_- "I hate you."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/skyman1122
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
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Did you know a silent film won an Oscar this year?

It was quiet the accomplishment.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WookieSwag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
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Dad joked myself tonight (Oscars spoilers)

I'm watching the Oscars tonight, and after seeing Leo's performance, my mom said he had a 40s look to him, and I said "that's probably why he played such a Great Gatsby"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ansakicus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
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Friend at the pub says: if they ever make a film on Oscar Pistorius, it shouldn't be called 'Bladerunner', it should be called....

Taking the Pisstorius.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ionised
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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Have you heard that Oscar Pistores has been cleared of murder charges?

Apparently the case had no legs to stand on...

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mott3h
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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Got my wife and in-laws during the Oscars, twice.

During Gagas performance: Mother in law says "look at those hanging oscars, they look dead!". I bust out "oh you mean the Oscarcases?".

During the next performance she says: "there are oscars literally everywhere, even all over the floor!" Naturally I mention "you mean the Oscarpet?"

Groans for days

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/iancameron
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
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Watching the Oscar Pistorius trial on tv with my dad.

Dad looks at me and says,

"He doesn't have a leg to stand on."

Looks back at the tv.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/undeadzombie12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 17 2014
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Why did the scarecrow win an Oscar?

He was out standing in his field.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CRAYbird
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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Why did the scarecrow win an Oscar?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tabz420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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