"Whale, whale, whale..."
Edit: Today I was reminded Orcas aren't whales...
Shampu
Because he couldn’t see that whale
He is the prints of whales.
An iPod.
A tide pod.
So I’ve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:
“Seaworld’s Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanks” or “Thanks, but No Tanks”
Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you don’t like either. (:
What did baby Orca's parents say when she brought home straight A's on her report card? (Smh lol) . . . . . . . . . . . . "Whale done"
Wa wa wah wahhhhhhh
Happy Friday team!
He couldn't sea whale.
But he didn't admit to anything. His lips were sealed. https://imgur.com/ogcyNTN
(My dad came up with this one on the fly when we visited Monterey when I was a kid).
He couldn't see that whale...
Through the underground whale road
An Orca-stra.
How do the Orcas know how to hunt together?
They must orca-strate it.
Groans from around the room.
An orca-stra.
Aquapella
The Orca-stra
They’re very well orca-strated
Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
“Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, ‘The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
“I’ll call you later!”- “Please don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”
Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
“My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”
“Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’”
I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.
If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.”
I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.
“Me: ‘Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: ‘Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”
“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
“How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.
I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”
I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Killer whales are known to Orca-strait their hunts
An Orca-dontist
Must be an Ocra-Stra
Edit: Orca-Stra
My sons were playing in the pool with a blow up orca pool toy. One of them was riding it and I looked at my wife and told her that there is no question he is my son.
She asked why?
And I said because he's whale endowed.
Him: "If the bitch next door could stop moaning like a fucking orca, that'd be great."
Me: "But she's about to orcasm!"
An orca-stra.
An orca-stra.
An Orcastra
An orca-stra.
An orca-stra
An Orca-stra.
An Orca-stra.
An Orca-stra.
An orchestra!
An orca-stra.
An Orca-stra.
An Orca-stra.
An orca-stra.
An orca-stra.
