Oral B Puns

Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.

...just wait until bed time, Oral-B revealed.

Someone was taking about their oral and aural studies. I said, "We don't listen when you talk about that." I woke myself up laughing.

In Oral, B.

Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your hole weak

¿Cuál nacionalidad tiene el mejor salud oral?

Los Canadientes.

Orally.

From CGPGrey: http://www.reddit.com/r/CGPGrey/comments/1x3guw/hello_internet_a_10_episode_podcast_experiment/cf7xh6e

What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?

The taste.

It's now called the Oral Office.

My buddy ordered a cup of coffee. When the waitress asked him how he takes his coffee, he said, "Usually orally, but I'm open to suggestions."

I think I "invented" this joke when I was around 15, but I'm sure others have as well since it's not too subtle. The key, though, was that I waited for just the right moment to use it for the first time.

I had an ear infection, so I went to the doctor, who took a look and quickly diagnosed it and wrote a prescription and handed it to me.

> Doctor: It's just an ear infection, so 4 drops of this daily should clear it right up.

> Me: [Reading the prescription, and seeing the name of the antibiotic, but I may be wrong about the name, so if anyone knows the right name, please reply.] [Completely seriously.] Oraline? So, I put the drops in my mouth?

> Doctor: [Quizzically.] No, no, no, you put it in your ear!

> Me: Oh, I read the name, and "Oraline" sounds like something you'd take orally.

> Doctor: Nope, in the ear.

> Me: [Remembering my dad joke.] It's a good thing that you didn't prescribe me analgesics.

The doctor had no reaction, just said their deadpan goodbye and left. I've wondered if they didn't get it, didn't think it was funny, or had heard it hundreds of times before.

My dad called me up one day, and started to deliver this one to me as if it was something he had actually heard on the radio.

"So I heard on the radio that there was midget in West Virginia that got arrested for giving oral favors to his sister... Apparently, he didn't know that it was illegal to munch kin."

I hung up on him.

Went to the dentist and I asked my fiance to come with me. When she asked why I told her that I need here there for oral support.

Why did the skeleton kill himself?

Because he was alone and had no-body.

Bonus joke:

Two friends are talking to each other.

"What are we doing with our lives?"

"I don't know pal, I always wanted to be a doctor."

"Oh yeah? Why don't you go try it?"

"Because...I have no payshants."

(yeah...I deliberately misspelled that word because these oral play on word type jokes are hard to put down in text)

EDIT: Jesus, he's on a roll today....

Why did the Iguana sleep alone?

Because he had ereptile-dysfunction.