I hate dentists.

Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokebandit91
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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If you want to know what a magician uses to brush his teeth...

...just wait until bed time, Oral-B revealed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ron_mcphatty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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I told a dad joke in a dream last night.

Someone was taking about their oral and aural studies. I said, "We don't listen when you talk about that." I woke myself up laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.

In Oral, B.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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What is the difference between oral and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your hole weak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/welfarejohn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Another spanish dad joke for you

ΒΏCuΓ‘l nacionalidad tiene el mejor salud oral?

Los Canadientes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
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How do you take your coffee?

Orally.

From CGPGrey: http://www.reddit.com/r/CGPGrey/comments/1x3guw/hello_internet_a_10_episode_podcast_experiment/cf7xh6e

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zapolon2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
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I asked for a chemistry joke, and he responded with this.

What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?

The taste.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thekatzkid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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They had to rename the Oval Office after the Monica Lewinsky incident

It's now called the Oral Office.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PCHardware101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
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Coffee dadjoke

My buddy ordered a cup of coffee. When the waitress asked him how he takes his coffee, he said, "Usually orally, but I'm open to suggestions."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doc_Noir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
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I saved this dad joke for 30 years for just the right moment...

I think I "invented" this joke when I was around 15, but I'm sure others have as well since it's not too subtle. The key, though, was that I waited for just the right moment to use it for the first time.

I had an ear infection, so I went to the doctor, who took a look and quickly diagnosed it and wrote a prescription and handed it to me.

> Doctor: It's just an ear infection, so 4 drops of this daily should clear it right up.

> Me: [Reading the prescription, and seeing the name of the antibiotic, but I may be wrong about the name, so if anyone knows the right name, please reply.] [Completely seriously.] Oraline? So, I put the drops in my mouth?

> Doctor: [Quizzically.] No, no, no, you put it in your ear!

> Me: Oh, I read the name, and "Oraline" sounds like something you'd take orally.

> Doctor: Nope, in the ear.

> Me: [Remembering my dad joke.] It's a good thing that you didn't prescribe me analgesics.

The doctor had no reaction, just said their deadpan goodbye and left. I've wondered if they didn't get it, didn't think it was funny, or had heard it hundreds of times before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaedW
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2015
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Did you hear about the midget from West Virginia?

My dad called me up one day, and started to deliver this one to me as if it was something he had actually heard on the radio.

"So I heard on the radio that there was midget in West Virginia that got arrested for giving oral favors to his sister... Apparently, he didn't know that it was illegal to munch kin."

I hung up on him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mostlyharmless27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2013
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Went to the dentist

Went to the dentist and I asked my fiance to come with me. When she asked why I told her that I need here there for oral support.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ultinado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2015
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My dad told me 2 jokes today for the price of 1. >.>

Why did the skeleton kill himself?

Because he was alone and had no-body.

Bonus joke:

Two friends are talking to each other.

"What are we doing with our lives?"

"I don't know pal, I always wanted to be a doctor."

"Oh yeah? Why don't you go try it?"

"Because...I have no payshants."

(yeah...I deliberately misspelled that word because these oral play on word type jokes are hard to put down in text)

EDIT: Jesus, he's on a roll today....

Why did the Iguana sleep alone?

Because he had ereptile-dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbonzo607
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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