I once did a theater performance on puns...

It was a play on words

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cryolithicdd
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 27 2021
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i'm working on puns and wordplays for my inktober. This is handburger
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Aesewiii
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 17 2020
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Just figured Iโ€™d announce that Iโ€™ll be doing a theatrical performance on puns later this week.

Itโ€™s a play on words.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VictorHelios1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 22 2020
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tonight on puns
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gullebring
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18 2019
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Does this belong on puns, punions
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/XtraMavrick
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 17 2019
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I am writing a drama on puns.

It's going to be a play on words.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/doktorstrange7
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 23 2019
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This changed my outlook on puns.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Dankmonseiur69
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Update on pun request for Orcas, Opinions needed!

So Iโ€™ve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:

โ€œSeaworldโ€™s Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanksโ€ or โ€œThanks, but No Tanksโ€

Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you donโ€™t like either. (:

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/gutsandhoney
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 30 2018
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Wingfield Brothers Inc: Degree project. A hypothetical company which make products based on puns.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VerGuy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 19 2011
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Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29 2021
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last gift on birthday
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Sabrinna_22
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I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...

Is this a trick question?

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 16 2021
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A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.

It was shelf defense.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kylejay915
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 24 2021
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My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet

Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"

Proud dad moment!

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/michaelprstn
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 30 2020
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Ooh thatโ€™s on point
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/crumble-bee
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 09 2021
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A heart on
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/meow__meg
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 04 2021
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My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.

I said, โ€œNo, only for the next couple of hours.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 31 2020
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I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.

Now heโ€™s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 03 2020
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What do you call a typo on a headstone?

A grave mistake.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sheikh_potato
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 05 2020
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Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will "punch" a fish for no reason other than spite

That's called Toxic Molluskulinity.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NAtionalniHIlist
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 30 2021
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Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.

That way, I always make a grand entrance.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Texgymratdad
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 15 2021
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tap on the screen
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/-Jude
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 22 2021
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I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo

It was great. Sheโ€™s a keeper.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lolyfe-dc
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 04 2020
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I had a friend who smoked weed on Mount Everest.

He told me he was really high.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RedShirtCashion
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 31 2021
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No no itโ€™s not sbread thatโ€™s the stuff you put on the bread.
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CookieDough-234
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 24 2021
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My 5yo blew us away with this original that he came up with all on his own. What do you call two ice dragons?

Twice dragons.

Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use โ€œWreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internetโ€ and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) heโ€™s been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyouโ€˜s for the kind words and awards.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jruff84
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 01 2021
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A cheesy pun thatโ€™ll grate on your nerves
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CosmicOli
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 01 2021
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Whats the best time on a clock?

6:30, hands down.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/iLoveRaviolis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 25 2021
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There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.

It's a faux pa.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/viky_boy
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Wow hi I've met my people on this subreddit
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Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes and no matchbox or lighter, what do they do?

They throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Gab3_itch69
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 05 2021
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Why wonโ€™t triangles go on dates with circles?

Theyโ€™re pointless.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Calm_Fan_381
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 01 2020
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What do you need if youโ€™re cold, while on the moon?

A space heater.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cryingstlfan
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 11 2020
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Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time

The spacebar

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Need_no_Reddit_name
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 15 2021
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My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.

I told her she would roux the day.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/PhantomBanker
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I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...

"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"

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๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 24 2021
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Time to put on the costume
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๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 28 2020
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I overdosed on Viagra once....

Hardest day of my life.

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๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 12 2021
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I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...

Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.

I was so proud.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/1kings2214
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 02 2021
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I hadnโ€™t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I donโ€™t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post Iโ€™ve ever made on reddit.
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๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 05 2021
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My son kept chewing on all the electrical chords we had set up for the holidays, so I grounded him...

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 15 2021
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Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.

Because itโ€™s capsized.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 29 2020
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I watched a documentary on how they built the Golden Gate Bridge.

It was riveting.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/hover-lovecraft
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 27 2021
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My wife told me sheโ€™ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.

Iโ€™m not too worried, I think sheโ€™s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SmartassBrickmelter
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 23 2020
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My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....

my birthday would be 24/7

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Aglaz
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18 2020
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I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, โ€œYouโ€™re an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still donโ€™t get is why...

She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 18 2021
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I once did a theatrical performance on puns

It was a play on words.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 37
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/VictorHelios1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 20 2020
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I did a theatrical performance on puns.

It was a play on words.

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/offlebagg1ns
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 24 2013
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I once attended a theatrical performance on puns

It was a play on words

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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rxthezealot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 04 2014
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