I once did a theater performance on puns...
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
i'm working on puns and wordplays for my inktober. This is handburger
π︎ 94
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Just figured Iβd announce that Iβll be doing a theatrical performance on puns later this week.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
tonight on puns
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Sep 18 2019
Does this belong on puns, punions
π︎ 32
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
I am writing a drama on puns.
It's going to be a play on words.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
This changed my outlook on puns.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Oct 04 2017
Update on pun request for Orcas, Opinions needed!
So Iβve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:
βSeaworldβs Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanksβ
or
βThanks, but No Tanksβ
Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you donβt like either. (:
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 30 2018
Wingfield Brothers Inc: Degree project. A hypothetical company which make products based on puns.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 19 2011
Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
last gift on birthday
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Ooh thatβs on point
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
A heart on
π︎ 170
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.
I said, βNo, only for the next couple of hours.β
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now heβs high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
π︎ 20k
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
What do you call a typo on a headstone?
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will "punch" a fish for no reason other than spite
That's called Toxic Molluskulinity.
π︎ 559
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
tap on the screen
π︎ 133
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo
It was great. Sheβs a keeper.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
I had a friend who smoked weed on Mount Everest.
He told me he was really high.
π︎ 110
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
No no itβs not sbread thatβs the stuff you put on the bread.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
My 5yo blew us away with this original that he came up with all on his own. What do you call two ice dragons?
Twice dragons.
Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use βWreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internetβ and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) heβs been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyouβs for the kind words and awards.
π︎ 300
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
A cheesy pun thatβll grate on your nerves
π︎ 51
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
Whats the best time on a clock?
π︎ 217
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
Wow hi I've met my people on this subreddit
π︎ 97
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes and no matchbox or lighter, what do they do?
They throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Why wonβt triangles go on dates with circles?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
What do you need if youβre cold, while on the moon?
π︎ 85
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
π︎ 253
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
My wife insisted on pouring flour into the melted butter.
I told her she would roux the day.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
π︎ 130
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
Time to put on the costume
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
I overdosed on Viagra once....
π︎ 179
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
π︎ 581
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
I hadnβt used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I donβt mean to brag but this is the single greatest post Iβve ever made on reddit.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
My son kept chewing on all the electrical chords we had set up for the holidays, so I grounded him...
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...
π︎ 114
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
π︎ 844
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
I watched a documentary on how they built the Golden Gate Bridge.
π︎ 64
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
My wife told me sheβll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
Iβm not too worried, I think sheβs jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
π︎ 522
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....
my birthday would be 24/7
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, βYouβre an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still donβt get is why...
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
π︎ 193
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
I once did a theatrical performance on puns
π︎ 37
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
I did a theatrical performance on puns.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Sep 24 2013
I once attended a theatrical performance on puns
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 04 2014
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
