I asked my wife to rate my listening skills. She said that I'm an 8 on a scale of 10.
I'm really not sure why she wants me to urinate on a skeleton...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 15 2022
My Wife Told Me to Pick Up 8 Cans of Sprite.
When I got home I realized that I picked 7 Up.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 02 2022
We all know why 6 was afraid of 7 but why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender
π︎ 93
π
︎ Aug 08 2022
I am sick and tired of people complaining about $8 beers, $10 parking, $20 service.....
If you don't like the charges, stop coming to my fucking house .
π︎ 45
π
︎ Aug 10 2022
What do you call a group of Mazda RX-8 owners?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 23 2022
Today I Turned 8 and Now Afraid of Next Year
Because 7 ate 9.
Happy 8 year anniversary.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 18 2022
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9
4 witnessed it but 2 was 2Β² to tell anyone.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 07 2022
A banger from of my 8 year old. Why couldnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
π︎ 254
π
︎ May 08 2022
6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 26 2021
There are two shopping carts. One contains 8 pieces of cheese, and the other one contains 9 pieces of cheese.
The second shopping cart is a cheese grater.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jul 06 2022
Been offered 8 legs of venison for Β£50
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 09 2022
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work.
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up.
π︎ 198
π
︎ Feb 13 2022
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
My local department of elections told me, "Your next election will be on November 8".
I had no idea I was even running for office!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 10 2022
A bloke down the pub just offered me 8 legs of venison for Β£20β¦..
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, βDad get out of the way!β
I said, βYouβre the ones blocking!β
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
Iβve just bought 8 legs of venison for Β£30
Does anyone think thatβs two dear?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 02 2022
My 8 year old daughter told me this one yesterday. What kind of shoes do bakers wear?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Feb 14 2022
8 yo just made this up. I took the shell off of my snail......
But now he's too sluggish.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 10 2022
A car salesman offered to trade his product for 8 legs of venison but i declined
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 06 2022
When is 8 the greatest of all time?
When it's lying down on the job
β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 21 2022
What has 100 pairs of legs and 8 teeth?
The queue outside my local Asda.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 23 2022
My 8 year old sons joke today. Whatβs a girls favorite unit of measurement?
π︎ 95
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
My 8 year old has created a new unit of measument...
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
π︎ 53
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Dec 07 2017
Someone tried to sell me 8 legs of venison for Β£200
I told him it was too dear..
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 13 2021
I have 10 pet geese,out of which 8 speak perfect English.
The last two are Portuguese.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
My son (8) walked out of the bathroom this morning and exclaimed "whoof!...
... I haven't peed since last year!"
I couldn't be more proud
π︎ 176
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
My daughter had her 6th driving test yesterday. She got 8 out of 10.
The other 2 jumped out of the way.
π︎ 60
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
A couple of days ago a man from Korea came to r/uruguay looking for help to make the worlds biggest sandwich. Last night (8:00PM for me - 8:00AM for him) we made it posible!
π︎ 96
π
︎ May 04 2019
From my 8 year old, on his path to becoming a great dad: "What did the designers of Darth Vader's costume model it on?"
π︎ 295
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
A German Family consisting of a Mom, Dad, 8-year-old son, and 6-year-old daughter walk into a bar.
The Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
Just got back from the supermarket - there was a guy rushing round the shop who had brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros and 12 piΓ±atas.
I thought to myself, Hispanic buying.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Apr 04 2020
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, βYouβre an 8 on a scale of 10.β
I still donβt get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 17 2021
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9β¦
4 witnessed everything but was 2 squared to tell anyone
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 02 2021
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jun 27 2021
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, βYouβre an 8 on a scale of 10.β
I still donβt get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you have to eat 3 squared meals a day
π︎ 68
π
︎ Dec 02 2021
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Feb 13 2020
When I asked my wife to rate my listening skills she said βyouβre an 8 on a scale of 10β.
I still donβt know why she wants me to urinate on a skeleton.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 17 2021
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. But why did 7 eat 9?
It heard you were supposed to have three squared meals a day.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, why was 10 scared?
because he was in the middle of 9 11
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jul 05 2021
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
π︎ 191
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day
π︎ 116
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, βYouβre an 8 on a scale of 10." But what I still donβt get is why...
She wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.
π︎ 196
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
We all know that 6 was scared of 7 because 7 8 9
But 7 was scared of 2, 4 6 8 10
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
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