I found the number one cause of dry skin!
What is the number one cause of divorce in America?
The boomerang is Australia's number one export.
Can't wait for this travel ban to lift. Prague would be my number one choice..
One of my kids ate a magnetic number off the fridge; it was the one between 1 and 3.
The doc said they would be ok “This two shall pass.”
What was the number one drug prescribed by psychiatrists in 2020?
Enemas, people needed to just let some shit go.
The number-one-selling brand of tea among US police officers is called “Tally”
How do you make the number one disappear?
You just add a G, and it’s gone.
I asked a german girl for her phone number. She only gave me one digit though.
Pulled this one on a wrong number today.
Wrong number lady: "I'm looking for a, uh, Victor?"
Me: "Nice, wha'd I win?"
WNL: (audible confusion and realization)
I know it's bad but I felt like my dad today.
I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand.
There was a typeface company that successfully designed upper-case numbers, they were called Capital One.
Student: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Student: Okay, I’ve got one.
Math Teacher: Good! That's not it
Number One
Friend 1: I love that song!
Friend 2: Yeah it’s a bop.
Me: Yeah i heard that it was number one at the BOPS office.
Both friends: glares of pure hatred
I've decided on a number of time-out punishments for my one and future kids...
- Stand in front of a mirror and reflect on what they've done.
- Sit in the corner where the floor speakers are to face the music.
Any other suggestions?
What's the number one cause of getting cut in the kitchen?
I asked my dad what the number one reason was that couples get divorced
Rocked this one while waiting for number to be called at DMV
Son's taking permit test today and while waiting to be called we watched some "interesting" facts they put on the tv screen.
Son points out, hey dad look Nevada's official state rock is Sandstone.
Me: I feel they could have made a boulder choice.
What is the number one money transfer service in Rome?
As I was starting to get bald my hair became my number one priority.
I figured I could just come back to the bills later, I had tupé.
They made a game about the number one in Spanish called uno
What is a geologist's number one rule?
Never take anything for granite.
What is the number one cause of paintbrush death?
"Your number one supporter is an insect"
"Really?"
"Yeah he's a real fanatick"
What did the odd number say when it failed to add one?
"You have to be odd to be number one." - Dr. Seuss
If your out camping with friends what's the number one rule if y'all are chased by a bear?
Make sure you outrun at least one of them! And be beary beary fast!
I guess we're doing number jokes so I got one too
Me: Can I get a number one with tots and a lemonade, no lettuce on my burger please?
The guy at Burger Place who took my order: "No problem, LETTUCE take care of that for you!"
My eyes rolled so hard I'm pretty sure he heard them through the microphone.
What is the number one name for a female turtle
What's the Apple store in Bangkok's number one product......?
Number one on my bucket list
What is the number one cause of Dry Skin?
What’s the number one cause of dry skin?
How do you make the number one disappear?
Just add a G and it’s gone
I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to Chernobyl...
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