A mouse found his wife cheating on him, and when they were arguing, he said
My pet mouse (Elvis) died today.
How do you stop a mouse from squeaking ?
Like anything else, cover it in oil.
What should you say when you see a mouse?
YOU CHEDDAR BE READY TO DIE!
What do you get when you cross a mouse with an elephant?
What did the mouse say when I hit it.
How did mouses open old letters?
Mickey Mouse is divorcing Minnie !
But the judge tells him...
" I'm sorry Mickey.. But I can't grant you a divorce just because you say your wife is a little weird."
Mickey says..
" I didn't say she was a little weird... I said she was Fucking Goofy !"
My mum is terrified of rodents. The other day she saw a mouse and immediately pulled a knife on it.
"Mum!!! You're going to get us kicked out of Disney world. "
What do you call a frozen mouse?
A mouse and a PC walk into a bar.
I bought my wife one of them new wireless mouse chargers.
Whst did the church mouse say to the other mice?
Have you accepted cheeses as your lord and saviour?
Last night my son saw a mouse in the kitchen so he wiped down all the counters and cleaned everything...
Tonight I'm putting the mouse in the bathroom.
What does an elephant and a giraffe have in common?
They both start with a “G”.
Elephant’s name is George.
What do you call a mouse that swears?
What did Mickey Mouse say to the Dr. when he hurt his leg?
Did you hear the joke about the mouse's dinner?
Nevermind, it's too cheesy.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I once tried to kill a giant mouse with a baseball bat
Now I have a lifetime ban from Disney world
Mickey Mouse arrested for identity theft
He was charged with being Goofy
I stepped on a mouse by accident!!
Now my boots are squeaky...
"Oh my gosh there's a mouse on your desk!"
"I know! And it's not working!"
I saw a mouse on the road.
I put batteries in a mouse
For some reason I was kicked out of the pet store
Some pieces of technology have such great design...
Like when I used a mouse for the first time it just clicked!
What did redditor say when he stumbled upon a mouse nest with 69 of them there?
I can’t even stop that pointy eared tree mouse from stealing my food
It’s safe to say I hate mice elf
How do you get a mouse to smile?
By telling it a cheesy joke.
Brother: "Why do we have a mouse-shaped fishing lure?"
Me: "So you can catch a catfish."
We were using my late dad's tackle box from the 90's. Only logical explanation is that I was controlled by his spirit.
If you felt a mouse, what sort of mouse would it be?
What did the mouse use to build his house?
What kind of auto does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
Why did the woman set her bra in front of a mouse hole?
She was setting a booby trap.
A small rodent lives in a apartment next to my computer keyboard.
What Did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse in order to rest?
Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said “you can’t just divorce with someone for being stupid” to which Mickey said:
“I didn’t say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofy”
What did the church mouse say to the other mice?
Have you accepted cheeses as your Lord and Savior?
What do you call a mouse that swears?
My pet mouse, Elvis just died..
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