Why did the milk bottle get a promotion?

Because it was a liter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_crassicornis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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My wife is annoyed that the small bottle of milk hasn't arrived with the milkman, but I don't see the problem

It's just a little lait

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πŸ‘€︎ u/h0ll0wface
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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A man threw a milk bottle at me today

How dairy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lee_Hey_pat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
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A man on the street threw a bottle of milk and a block of cheese at me

I thought, "how dairy!"

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
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I always keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge.

Just in case anyone wants a black coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shipmydadsays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2016
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Lady wants to take a milk bath...

Lady left the Milk Man a note on her empty milk bottles, asking him to come see her before he left.

Milk Man comes by, reads the note, goes up to the lady’s house, knocks on the lady’s door and says, β€œyou wanted to see me?”

Lady says, β€œyes, I read that taking milk baths is good for your skin, so I’d like for you to bring me enough milk to fill my bathtub, can you do that?”,

Milk Man says, β€œI sure can, would you like that milk pasteurized?”

Lady says, β€œno, just up to my nipples would be good”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitch_igan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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Whenever I go to the supermarket with my dad...

He will do three things. Guaranteed.

  1. Pick up a bottle of milk and shake it, asking if we want milkshake.

  2. Go up to a young teenager stacking shelves and ask for whatever they're currently restocking on the shelves and watch as they scratch their heads and look around only to hold out the item with a dumb look on their face (which surprisingly happens almost every time)

  3. Will get a bottle of water from the shelf and hold it high with one hand and drop it, catch it with his other hand then say "did you see that?! It was a beautiful waterfall!!!"

Obviously a hearty dad-chuckle follows each of these actions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaureoTheOreo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2013
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My friend tried to tell me a fun fact

Friend: You know most bottled milk actually comes from the same place?

Me:.... A cow?

Friend: Get the f*ck out of my house

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frame-of-thought
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
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Soya milk

I come home with a bottle of soya milk (as opposed to the regular milk that my family is used to).

Dad: What's that?

Me: Soya milk.

Dad: Soya think that's good for you?

Awesome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jinkies287
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
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