Made a dad joke on Facebook. My dad friend mercilessly shows me how it's done

My status: Any tips on how to keep raccoons from eating my corn crop? I'm all ears. But seriously raccoons are assholes.

Dad friend responds back to back.

"There's a kernel of truth to that statement!"

"But shucks, poor guys can't help it."

"Maybe get your dog to start stalking them."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Old_Army90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Man with camera and merciless stream of dadjokes (video)

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0DybnAqW44

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brownbat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
🚨︎ report
That French guy didn't say thanks!

What a merciless person...

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paperarrow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Buddy Doesn't Know How to Park

So this is a true story.

I work a retail job. My friend neglected to properly put his Mustang in park in his space. It moved backwards across the lot and in to a customer's Jeep Grand Cherokee. Luckily for him, the damage was not serious.

Unlucky for him, all of my coworkers (and a few customers) proceeded to mercilessly roast him on the showroom floor.

Looking to me to defend him, he asked, "why don't you back me up?"

I said: "Back up seems to be the last thing you need, I'd just learn to roll with it, you might say I'm pretty neutral..."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allnerdsbewareme
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Call all pun creators

My sister is in the emergency room with second degree burns on her foot from cooking oil, I need puns to make fun of her at thanksgiving.

Be merciless.

Edit: it was great, you're puns were big hits. After each pun I said your username without context, but at the end of dinner someone asked me if I was going insane and I said "no, those are the pun credits" so, in some of your cases it was pretty funny to say out of context.

Thank you all for your entries, they were great!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrimsonCultist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2016
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend got me good tonight

On our way back from the store, talking about how expensive it is to go out on real 'dates' (been together for a year or so)

>Her: We can come up with plenty of free-ways to have fun

>Me: Mhmm--

>Her: I mean, I-71 and I-75 are great, but we can think of more.

She stared at me for about 10 seconds, grinning until I realized what she was talking about.

My face never palmed so hard as she giggled mercilessly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJohnSnow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.