My partner called me for dinner, and said we were having chow mein.
I replied, "what's for chow dessert?"
Why is Mein Kampf so hard to read?
Because it was written in worst-person perspective.
Rudolph Hess was in prison with Hitler, and helped edit the future-fuhrer's book Mein Kampf...
thus making Hess the world's first grammar nazi.
Hitler has just released a new game focused on fun DIY art projects
These puns are getting out of Mein Kampfort zone
Many people don’t take climate change seriously
it would be cooler if they did
Hitler jokes are always so iffy
They are out of Mein Kamfert zone.
My son needed help with his creative writing homework. 'Is it further or farther?' he asked me.
"It's me, father," I replied.
Learned Hitler not only wrote a book, but created a video game
What did Hitler say after running a marathon?
Gluten Tag mein geliebter
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
How are pollen grains like Otto Von Bismarck?
They both lead to German Nation
How much do dumplings weigh?
I took the last of my daughter's lo mein...
"Daddy, that's my lo mein!"
"Yeah, now what do you have?"
She frowns and says "no mein."
"Yup."
We had to read Mein Kampf for history class
Me to my friend: I wonder if any Jewish kids found it unkampfortable to read?
It took her a few seconds before she groaned like hell.
What was Hitler's favorite game to play?
Mein-krafft
Edit: corrected the spelling of mein from mien
What do you call a Chinese restaurant that pays its rent on time?
Did y'all hear that COVID-19 wrote a book?
I had Chinese with my dad the other night, and he asked “Did a shrimp really fry this rice?”
I told him “Of course not dad, now sit down and eat your chow, mein.”
My daughter orders Lo Mein at our local Chinese restaurant
I asked her if she wanted a high side to go with her lo Mein.
Just deleted all the German contacts off my phone.
Why did the lion get his hair cut on his way to the Chinese restaurant?
Because he wanted a Lo Mein
I rented out a room to two beautiful Chinese Women..
They never complain, they keep to themselves and they always pay their rent on time. The only weird thing is they insist on paying me in stir-fry. But all in all, I guess they're pretty lo mein tenants.
Why does the dancer eat Chinese food?
Because he likes to get Lo Mein
What would Hitler´s book have been called if he had actually become a painter?
Would you like your order führer or to go?
In the interest of history, I tried to read Adolf Hitler's manifesto.
But it was too Kampflicated.
I don’t like Hitler jokes.
What did Hitler name his couch?
What’s Lightning McQueen’s favorite takeout order?
Q: What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
A: Mein Kraft
^(/u/a_fan_of_grump points out that if you spell it "meine kraft" then it's grammatically correct German and it means "my power" - quite fitting actually)
What's a good reply to "I did nazi that coming from jew"?
Quirky answers appreciated.
Why would Hitler hate gamers?
Because Mojang stole Mein Kraft
What does Hitler call his favourite chair?
What do you call the German video game about Mac & Cheese?
How much does a dumpling weigh?
Why don't I do Hitler jokes ?
Because they are outta mein kampfort zone
What's Hitler's favorite video game?
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