So I hired this dude to count people in the Bible for me. How many Noah's are there. How many Moseses. That sort of thing. Well, today, he stopped about halfway through. I'm sad to say that I had to let him go.
I mean, he only had one Job.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
How many Germans does it take to screw in light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and have no sense of humor.
How many moles do you think they have to kill to get a whole jar of molasses?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry
how many web developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
no seriously guys. https://imgur.com/gallery/bm1sIfP
I can't figure out how to get to the bulb. there's nothing to grab.
please send help
How many teenagers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you have to ask them dozens of times.
How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Want to know why there are so many people in Ireland? 🇮🇪
It's because the capital is always Dublin.
I was fired from my job for making to many egg jokes.
How many alcoholics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2 - one to hold it in place and the other to drink until the room spins.
How many siblings does it take to change a lightbulb?
Zero. By the time they’re done arguing about who will change it, their mom has already done it.
West Side Story is actually connected to Spider Man because there are many stories about Spider Man climbing many stories in the West Side of New York.
Too many authors to cite?
How many optometrist does it take to change a light bulb?
It's a relief to know there aren't many monarchies opening Vietnamese soup shops.....
Because then we'd have a serious pho-king problem
How many donkeys does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he’s a total ass.
How many country music stars does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3, one to screw in the lightbulb, and two to write a song about it!
How many Europeans does it take to make a magnet?
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
How many clickbait articles does it take to change a light bulb?
The answer will shock you!
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me
How many A.D.D.ers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but it took several light bulbs and several months to get it done because the ADDer.....
Paid for the lightbulb then left it in the shop on the counter.
Dropped another light bulb out of a hole in his/her shopping
bag didn't notice and ran over it with a truck.
Bought the wrong sort of lightbulb because s/he couldn't be bothered
checking which sort of light bulb was needed cause that's boring.
Left the light bulb under a pile of clothes for several
weeks before s/he got around to trying to put it up.
Couldn't remember who s/he gave the ladder
too so decided they had to go buy another.
Took the old light bulb down put it on the floor next to the
new light bulb got distracted by an idea in his/her head.
Ran to get notebook to write idea down idea forgot about light bulb for
an hour as other thoughts came to mind, remembered lightbulb couldn't
figure out which was the old light bulb and which was the new light bulb
AARRRRRRRRRRRRRG
Who invented such an inhuman thing as a light bulb
An old man complained to his wife of many years that his joints were stiff ...
She replied: "You're simply rolling them too tight."
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
One actor to hold the lightbulb and the world to revolve around the actor.
How many times do you have to tickle and octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles
Of course it only actually has 8 of those, so the rest of the others were...
Test-tickles
A man, who is sentenced to life imprisonment, decides to dig a tunnel to escape. He works for many months on this tunnel, and finally finishes it.
He decides to break out during the day, figuring the guards will not suspect this. As he breaks through the ground to the surface, he finds himself in a preschool playground.
He is surprised, but he rejoices anyway, shouting, "I'm free, I'm free!"
At this a little girl approaches him, puts her hand on her hip, and says, "big deal! I'm four!"
How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten tickles!
Of course it only has eight of those.
So the first two were test tickles!
New humanitarian US project - any poor country can heal their sick people in the US, but have to buy weapons from the US afterwards. There are many takers, so the queue is long.
The project is called "tanks for your patients".
How many Latin Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one: they are very efficient and have no sense of humour.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
>Only one but the light bulb has to want to change.
How many optometrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Is it one or two?
One......or two?
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the lightbulb has to want to change.
How many birds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many crabs does it take to change a light bulb?
How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A one! A two! A one, two, three, four!
How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Is it One or Two?
One......or Two?
How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends on who you ask
How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. But the lightbulb has to really want to change.
How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb?
The answer will shock you!
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb
One because they are efficient and not very funny.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one but the lightbulb has to really want to change
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