20 Hilarious Look Back Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

👍︎ 124

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Nov 03 2020

🚨︎ report

A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.

The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”

The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”

👍︎ 12k

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👤︎ u/labink

📅︎ May 27 2020

🚨︎ report

True story: Driving back home, my 5 year old son says "How do you spell 'penis'?". My wife looks at me curiously and then asks "Why?"

After a few moments of silence, my son replies "That's it?"

👍︎ 10k

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👤︎ u/imgenerallyagoodguy

📅︎ Dec 17 2019

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"Egg-plant" shirt by me. Never got why the vegetable was called that until I found out that they used to be white and look like goose eggs back in the day

👍︎ 21

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👤︎ u/stephaniehuang66

📅︎ Jun 25 2020

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I asked the chef for butter for my naan and he gave me regular old butter. I went back and said, "hey, I may not look Indian, but I really wanted ghee." He told me rather rudely, "Well, next time you should clarify that."

I told him, "well, this time, you should."

👍︎ 21

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👤︎ u/OK_Compooper

📅︎ Jul 10 2020

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People say the back of my head looks really nice

But I don't see it

👍︎ 108

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👤︎ u/team_pinapple

📅︎ Feb 24 2020

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When Danny Zuko looks back at his time in high school ...

Do you think he is sandymental ?

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/PM_ME_UR_WOTS_M8

📅︎ Mar 19 2020

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The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends

“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/PityNoodz

📅︎ Feb 26 2020

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If I look back at 2019 I'd say that it was a pretty bad year

But they say that hindsight is 2020

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Axel_Strong

📅︎ Jan 01 2020

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Sometimes when I stop and take a look back at my daughter...

... I realize I've gone too fast.

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/borna761

📅︎ Nov 15 2019

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Look what I found at the back of my church pamphlet this morning.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/YuBFan123455

📅︎ May 27 2019

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One time a German tourist dove into a river to save someone's dog. When he came back, he said to the owner, "Here iz ze dog, put him in a blänket so he iz dry and warm." The owners ask him, "How do you know, are yoy a vet?" The German looks at them blankly, "Vet? Im fucking soaking!"

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/SpillsMcDribble

📅︎ Mar 25 2019

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My wife asked me why I always look so miserable when I get back from the blood bank...

It's because I'm A- donor

👍︎ 23

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👤︎ u/MasterOfTheMeme

📅︎ Apr 18 2017

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Cache registers are going to be the only thing Robot Johnny's memory has to look back on

👍︎ 5

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👤︎ u/Sarah_Connor

📅︎ Apr 28 2017

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my iPhone looks really nice, but the logo on the back really stands out. ‬

It’s the apple of my I. ‬

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Domthehuman1

📅︎ Dec 22 2017

🚨︎ report

A man orders an egg sandwich. The waiter brings it to him, and the man looks at it suspiciously. He asks for the chef to come see him. The chef walks up and says "Is there a problem?" The man replies back "I'm sorry, but this egg looks retarded." So the chef says...

"Well, it's in bread."

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/ThatCoolKidcalledPat

📅︎ May 18 2015

🚨︎ report

People say the back of my head looks really nice

But I don't see it

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Mar 12 2020

🚨︎ report

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible!” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

“Bonnie...” he says. “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

“Oh sweet Jesus!" exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

👍︎ 45

💬︎

👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ May 18 2018

🚨︎ report

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

👍︎ 26

💬︎

👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Jul 13 2018

🚨︎ report

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible." the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

“Bonnie...” he says. “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

“Oh sweet Jesus!" exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

👍︎ 26

💬︎

👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Dec 06 2018

🚨︎ report