True Story. I went to pick up a couple of Italian Beef sandwiches curbside last night and as the runner approached with my order, the sandwiches broke through the gravy soaked paper bag and fell to the ground. She was extremely apologetic and said she would re-bag them for us. But I was livid!

I mean, I did not pay for ground beef.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/casimir1978
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I M LIVID
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farhan_Hyder
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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I’ve lost count of the times I forgot
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bo_veytia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was livid when I dropped some ice and it went under the refrigerator.

It's just water under the fridge now.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was absolutely livid after I gave her a clothesline for Valentine's day...

She stayed down a lot longer than they do in the WWE

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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I was angry when Julius Caesar was killed

I was absolutely 50 1 5 1 500

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeHL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Absolutely livid. Bought a Hawaiian pizza for dinner and I've just burned it. Should've cooked it on aloha temperature.

Credit to @AdamPacitti

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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LIVID
πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/narwhal-lord14
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
A man got a vasectomy without telling his wife. When she finds out about it, she is livid. "Are you serious?" She screams.

"Yes, I'm not kidding you."

πŸ‘︎ 269
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2016
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I can never remember the Roman Numerals for 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500...

IM LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HatterInATutu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was absolutely livid at my doctor. He said I had a brain tumour that wasn’t malignant, whatever the hell that meant.

I was visibly panicking, but I lost it when he said it’s β€œAll in your head.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Converting the numbers 51,6 & 500 makes me LIVID
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you give the Devil two eyes and turn him around?

He becomes Livid.

I'll see myself out now.

πŸ‘︎ 164
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeprido
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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MY GIRLFRIENDS DOG DIED SO I GOT HER AN IDENTICAL ONE

SHE WAS LIVID AND SCREAMED WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH TWO DEAD DOGS !

Current status.. single

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hobohougsy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Converting the number 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals doesn’t just make me mad....

It makes me LIVID.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I phoned up my interior designer.

"The carpet by the front of my house is ruined. I'm livid," I told him.

He said, "Have you got a doormat?"

I said, "How else do you think people get in?! And my name isn't Matt."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I took a taxi home from the pub last night.

I bet the driver's livid that he doesn't have a car any more.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Davina McCall and Ricky Martin are driving along a road, when suddenly the wheels fall off.

Livid Davina, low car

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFledge534
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
The Dictator

So here's the setup: I recently started working for a taxi cab company. It's surprisingly lucrative, and a shitload better than McDonalds.

So I'm working, and I'm parked in front of a bar, hoping that a fare is gonna knock on my window, when about twenty feet or so in front of me, I see a very good friend of mine. I shout, and we spend the next few minutes shooting the breeze. A fare knocks on my window, and I driver her to where she needs to go.

After, I'm driving back to that bar, and I get a call from my friend, asking if I had another fare lined up. I didn't so he told me to come back, he's got a group for me. They get in the car, and these guys start bugging the shit out of me. Which I can handle. What I can't handle is when they start dealing each other cocaine in my back seat. At that point, I'm just livid. I tell them to give me my money and get the fuck out of my car.

Later, I chat my friend up on Facebook. I tell him that I'm super-grateful that he got me a fare, but to please not ever put those particular assholes in my car again. And since our relationship is built on surreal humor and snark, I start expanding the list. Those assholes. Colombian drug lords. Justin Beiber. Kim Jong-Un. Please, no Korean dictators.

"But what about a penis-shaped potato?"

I'll admit, that one threw me for a loop. But I tell him that potatoes are fine, regardless of shape, size, color, or type.

At that point, I could almost hear him laughing as he typed "Excellent. Instead of a dictator, I'll send you with a dick tater."

I was so pissed off I had walked straight into that one.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoldierOfTruth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
🚨︎ report
WHO DOES THAT?

My sister just called me to tell me this story that just happened to her today:

She ordered boots from Amazon and they were delivered and left at the door (which her neighbor let her know). So she gets home and sees just the boot box...no Amazon box like every other package comes from them. Obviously, she's suspicious and thinks her boots were probably stolen.

She opens the box, the boots are there...BUT THEY'RE STUFFED WITH MCDONALD'S HAMBURGERS.

STUFFED. WITH. HAMBURGERS.

She calls our dad because she's livid and she yells WHO DOES THAT?!

His response?

The hamburglar.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mish92
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
🚨︎ report
My old friend's dad's goof on early 80's politics will take your heart hostage.

Once upon a time in the 80’s, the religious supreme ruler of a middle eastern country fled outside military forces seeking to strip him of his power using whatever means necessary. Fearing for his life, he was secretly smuggled into the US where he reluctantly shaved his beard and attempted to blend in.

He successfully went native and got an apartment, and soon realized he needed a job to pay for food and rent. He didn't want to do any sort of manual labor or serve others, as he craved comfortable control. He eventually became a toll booth operator, where he enjoyed sitting in his high chair, making people pay him so that he would grant them passage. Over time he grew bold and began to use his own judgment on what vehicles would pay him for his blessing to cross.

One day, two semi-tractor trailer beverage trucks were in his line, a Pepsi truck in front, and a Coke truck behind. The Pepsi truck pulled up and he said "Pepsi truck, you may pass for free." The Pepsi truck driver happily accepted, and over his CB radio told the Coke truck driver β€œThis guy just let me through for free!”. When the Coke truck pulled up, hoping to also pass for free, the toll booth dictator said "Coke truck, you will pay me 100 of your American dollars."

The Coke truck driver was livid, and said "You let that Pepsi truck pass for free! You want me to pay 100 dollars?! That’s outrageous! I am going to report this! What is your name?!" Our toll booth operator proudly replied "Ayatollah Cokemainly."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllUpInMyRizznus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
🚨︎ report
I Can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman Numerals

I M LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Infinite-Aviation
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals

I M LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/garlic_eggdog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in roman numerals.

I'm LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HayleyLF
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Converting the numbers 51,6 and 500 into Roman Numerals doesn't just make me mad...

It makes me LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolishTurnip87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't recall how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals

IM LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IdealApricot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't remember howto write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.

I M LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals...

I M LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zethantheGOAT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals

I M LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weab00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't remeber how to write 1,1000,51,6 and 500 in Roman numerals

IM LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Glazavolk_YT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine’s dog died...

So I got her an identical one. She was livid and said, β€œwhat am I going to do with 2 dead dogs?”

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a_norris864
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't remember how to write 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

And I am LIVID!

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/conundrumbombs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals.

I’m LIVID!

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals.

IM LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't remember how to write the Roman Numerals 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500.

IM LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thedaveabides98
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman Numerals

I M LIVID

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report

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