Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who has had their liver removed?

Delivered

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/John_Sinclair
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
During an autopsy, why are the heart, kidneys, liver and lungs arranged alphabetically?

So they are organ-ized.

πŸ‘︎ 442
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Ugh
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_orthodocs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
John was the best liver surgeon in his hospital.

I guess you could say he always delivered.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SodArgon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A man once donated his own liver to someone in need.

Hey may not be alive, but he was delivered.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm sure he'll grow up to liver healthy life.
πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morgan_Redwood
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm sure he'll grow up to liver healthy life
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Random_420-69
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do women have a difficult time working for the postal service?

It’s mail-dominated.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SecondRateHack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I fell asleep in the cab and later I woke up with my liver missing

I'm starting to think that the driver who said he'll "deliver me" was a bit shady.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maraudershake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I need a liver transplant, luckily you can just get them from Amazon these days. It should be arriving today...

The tracker says it's 'out for delivery'

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mittenshape
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend amputated his liver. Now he is just O

His name is Oliver

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_i_like_potatoes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the leading cause of liver disease in Canada?

Hepatitis Eh?

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cthutzpah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
News was the baby had a fatal liver problem even before it was born

Luckily in the end, it was safely de livered

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samdp4l
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I had some liver delivered

And received an empty box

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsaacsBinder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my postman is an organ donor.

His truck says, β€œWe deliver for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedandsue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
So while at the dr recently, he told me an ultrasound revealed I have a fatty liver

I looked him dead in the eyes and said look at me, I weigh 360 lbs I have a fatty everything.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johndeerdrew
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to a liver problem, I was advised to give up alcohol.

So I now identify as M, I gave up the ale

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor: I'm going to deliver the baby. . .

Me: Actually, we'd like him to keep his liver.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
To make a chicken pate...

...one has to de-liver the chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I am donating liver to a Redditor who was in need

Guess you could say

(β€’β€’) / ( β€’β€’)>βŒβ–‘-β–‘ / (βŒβ–‘_β–‘)

OP De-livered

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Not ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^actually

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Nurse: so here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in ABC order

Doctor: wow. Looks very organized!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chanmack21
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why would prometheus make a good mail carrier?

He has alot of experience with de-livering.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife we were having liver and onions for dinner and she said that's disgusting!!

I said, no it's offal.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/430am
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I had kidney and liver pudding for dinner last night.

It was offal.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad refuses to eat calve's liver.

It makes him veal offal.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paracog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Thanks to cod-liver pills my son is a genius at painting and computing.

He’s got arty-fish-oil intelligence.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Is life worth living ?

It depends upon the liver.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyborg_robot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the most common liver condition among Canadians?

Hepatitis eh

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeazy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
🚨︎ report
I threw a bottle of Omega 3 cod liver oil pills at my son earlier...

His injuries are nothing more than super fish oil

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peter_j_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?

Sir Ohsis of the Liver

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently if you eat a polar bear's liver you'll get sick from too much vitamin A; someone suggested testing this so I called the butcher and asked them to send some over...

...But unfortunately they said they don't deliver polar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frond_Dishlock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Which part of our body lives the longest?

Pupils...they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anvesh_parab
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The mailman had to get part of his liver removed.

I guess you could say he got delivered.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the Amazon package wake up in a bathtub full of ice?

Because it was de-livered.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I ordered a liver sandwich from a local deli and all I got was 2 slices of bread with mayo on it.

It was delivered.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Zeus' eagle de-livers

Credit to /u/shoegraze

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtsyTLF
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Know anyone with liver problems?

I think thistle do the trick. (My fiance did not appreciate this joke.... I thought maybe you guys would!)

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonesySteelblade
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
🚨︎ report
I was going to get a Pizza delivered

Then I realized Pizzas don't have livers.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When I promise to come up with an organ transplant pun.

I de-liver

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't buy foie gras when you go shopping!

It's always best de-livered.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Was told you would like this: As kids on the way to McDonald's, my father used to torment us to the point of tears by telling us we were going to the fictional Wong's House of Liver instead...

This is what I got him for Christmas this year:

http://i.imgur.com/3luzi1J.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHoneyBear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
🚨︎ report
What do champions put in their hair?

CHAMPoo

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tortol9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
"hello, thank you for calling Hannibal's..."

We de-Liver

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spiceinvader1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Liver...

What an offal food.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twin802
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2016
🚨︎ report

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