Why did Abraham Lincoln go to the play?

He wanted to be more open-minded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/egglord009
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2021
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Me and my friends were driving from New Jersey to New York through the Lincoln Tunnel. My wrist hurt once we were out

The doctor said it was Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronTemplar26
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2021
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Abraham Lincoln could never be convicted of a crime!

He’s in-a-cent!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/69_WetBulb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2021
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Abraham Lincoln once said,

"Don't believe everything you see on Reddit."

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2021
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What's it called when a bunch of coworkers get car sick driving through the Lincoln Tunnel?

Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2021
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Abraham Lincoln was a rapper

he went by the name One Cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/operationchaos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2021
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My sex life is like Abraham Lincoln's.

My last four scores were seven years ago.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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When I was a toddler, I was starting to turn blue when my mom saw that I was choking on a some Lincoln Logs

Thankfully, she dislodged them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caverypca
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
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What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

You can’t arrest me. I am in-a-cent (innocent).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spice_135
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2021
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Why couldn't Abraham Lincoln be arrested?

He's in a cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoondogGLOVER1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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What’s a Lincoln’s favorite meal?

Continental breakfast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rrenphoenixx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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I just found out that β€œLincoln” made about $300 million in movie theatres.

Which is weird. Lincoln usually doesn’t do too well in theatres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Penny production with Abraham Lincoln’s face seems to be quite low this year.

It’s only one percent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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They made a mistake on the statue of Lincoln.

It was a monumental error

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleFuckingIroh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Anyone want to help me make a TV show about Abraham Lincoln?

The plan is to shoot it in front of a live audience.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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What did the Lincoln Memorial say when it got pepper in its nose?

STACHOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What do Abraham Lincoln biographies and Instagram promoters have in common?

Lincoln bio.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emagdaleno
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What did Abraham Lincoln say when he watched a Call of Duty killcam?

Nice play.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePegaKris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Why hasn't Abraham Lincoln ever been charged with a crime?

He's in a cent.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneCoolGuy234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
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NBC is coming up with a docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Did you know Abraham Lincoln lived in Pennsylvania?

Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Why is Abe Lincoln the least guilty out of all the presidents of the USA?

Because he is In a cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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Why did Lincoln give the Gettysburg Address? /r/Jokes/comments/ghs2js/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuhawaiki
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Why did the cannibal love Abraham Lincoln?

Because of the greatest speech ever written, "Four score and seven ears ago..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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How do I know Abraham Lincoln never had trouble with the law?

He's in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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You know they say JFK and Abraham Lincoln were the most open minded presidents
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spoonicide
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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I'm the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln...

I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln,

Were truly open-minded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squatyslav
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zvekl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Abe Lincoln was shot in the Ford theater

Wouldn't have happened in a Chevy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain_Karfuzzel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Who killed Abraham Lincoln?

A clown walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask him a few questions.

Officer: What’s 2+2?

Clown: (counts on his fingers) … 4!

Officer: Good.Β  What’s the square root of 100?

Clown: (thinking fiercely) … 10!

Officer: Very good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Clown: Ummmm … I don’t know.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The clown goes home and calls up one of his friends, who asks him if he got the job. The clown says, excitedly, β€œNot only did I get the job, I’€™m already working on a murder case!”

Source: http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/who-killed-abraham-lincoln/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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My bank sells repo cars. The other day, they had a Lincoln sedan for sale...

I pulled beside the shiny car, beaming at the price and quality...except I noticed the back passenger door seemed have water dripping out the side panel. I giggled to myself:

Might as well call it a'Leakin, amirite?

😎😎😎😎😎

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CurbsideChaos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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Why doesnt matthew mcconaughey's lincoln have a left turn signal?

Because it goes all right all right all right

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πŸ‘€︎ u/threecheers4jim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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TIL: The Lincoln penny debuted on the Anniversary of his birth...

It all makes cents now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Why didn't Abe Lincoln commit crimes?

Because he's in a cent!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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The mailman was confused by President Lincoln's orders.

He was told to deliver to the Gettysburg Address.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln guilty?

Because he was in-a-cent

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItzPhoen1x
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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NBC is developing a new realistic docudrama about Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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Lincoln was the least guilty president

Because he was in a cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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I own an axe that belonged to Abraham Lincoln

I replaced the head once,and the handle has been replaced twice.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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HBO is making a new docudrama about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale will be shot before a live audience.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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NBC is planning an old-fashioned sitcom about Abraham Lincoln.

It will be shot before a live audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
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What did Abraham Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm in-a-cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gluttonysin4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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The least guilty president is Abraham Lincoln.

It's because he's in a cent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maise12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Lincoln was the least guilty US president

He's in a cent.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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abraham lincoln never committed a crime

he was in a cent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehferretgamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Why was Abraham Lincoln never found guilty of a crime?

He was in a cent.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ande4100
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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