What do you call a letter that seems to be a submissive writer?

“A” likened sub-scribe

please kill me

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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I'm surprised I'm not single yet

A little backstory: my girlfriend has had a small lizard living in her house recently. She's likened him to the mascot of a specific insurance company. Today, she found him looking rather ill and decided to release him outside.

Cue to me leaving her house tonight. As I walked out the door:

Me - "goodnight!"

Her - "Wait!"

Me - "Geez. You scared me. I thought I was stepping on something."

Her - "No, I just forgot to give you something. Oh no! The poor lizard! That would've been terrible!"

Me - " I know!! ... ... He would've never been able to achieve his Olympic dreams as a Gecko roman wrestler."

Her - "Go. Now."

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/triculous
📅︎ Sep 10 2015
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