Kirkcaldy Puns

Here comes the wave of pretentious pricks with "They are both shit, just move somewhere else", but for anyone who actually wants to be helpful, here is the situation:

Would you rather live in Paisley or Kirkcaldy? What are the general prospects of both towns? It seems like Paisey has quite big plans for regeneration and being so close to Glasgow is probably a huge bonus, not sure about Kirkcalday. What about the general vibe of both towns? Kirkcaldy is next to the sea which is cool, Paisley has some lovely architecture. Probably some social issues in both...

I am looking to (potentially) buy a starter 1-bedroom flat in either of the two. I'd be working mostly from home, so might have to go to the office once a week or so (Either to Edinburgh or Glasgow).

Any feedback would be welcome.

Cheers

Ceasar walks along the coastal path, enjoying a small break from the stress and business of campaigning. The sea air smelled salty and fresh and all was quiet, until he rounded a corner and came across a large group of walkers that had stopped for a break. Caesar, being one of the most famous faces in the constituency was immediately recognised by the group. They all shook hands and took autographs, while a few showed off the tattoos of Ceasar’s face they had got before demanding he talked about New Britains economical policies. Begrudgingly Ceasar obliged. Ceasar hated campaigning. He much prefered doing something.

“Fine, fine. I will do a little speech. Sometimes I hate being so popular, recognisable, and so good at my job in Parliament. What to talk about… hmm… well how about the up coming block grant cut. Surely you have all heard of that looming problem facing Scotland? Westminster will be cutting the block grant to us, meaning that we will subsequently have to make cuts to our spending. We will ensure that a responsible review will be conducted regarding our spending and what is absolutely necessary and where we can unfortunately afford to make cuts. During this review we will consider the fact that we may ensure that the budget is in surplus. Thus meaning we can put some funding to the side for subsequent budgets, reducing the hit to our spending caused by a decrease in the block grant. Clever huh.”

“New Britain will continue to fervently support and push forward the second home surcharge. How can we help people get on the housing ladder, or proceed to the next rung if all the available houses are being mopped up by people into second homes that will get used for two to three weeks a year? Our surcharge will help reduce the number of second homes, while increasing our revenue on those second homes to help support house buyers, in particular first time buyers with the Right-to-Buy scheme which we fully support.”

“Taxes! Can’t talk about money without mentioning taxes. We will merge Land and Building Transaction Tax and Land Value Tax into one tax: Proportional Property Tax cutting down on the number of taxes you’ll have to pay! This will allow us to set a flat rate for all domestic first homes, while allowing a surcharge to be set for not only second homes but also for foreign non-resident investors. That means more tax for them and less for you! We will establish regional development offices in each region of Scotland, promoting local focused

LightningMinion gave a speech to a group of voters at Beveridge Park in Kirkcaldy, with the speech also being broadcast live on Twitter and YouTube:

“Hello Kirkcaldy!

It has been a privilege to be able to represent you in the Scottish Parliament for a 2nd term in a row and I am once again asking for your electoral support so that I can continue to serve the city as an MSP.

In June the electoral region of Fife and the Forth Valley gave a plurality of its vote to the Tories yet they chose to neglect this area by refusing to represent it within the Scottish Parliament. This term the Scottish Parliament debated many important items of legislation from the Rainbow Coalition government on topics ranging from reform of local government, reducing inequalities in education, electric vehicle charging infrastructure, and other topics. As the official opposition to the Scottish Government, I believe that the Conservatives had a constitutional duty to scrutinise these bills yet instead they chose to skip the debate on these bills and multiple others, thereby abdicating their duty and failing their voters.

As an MSP for the region I however have made sure to fight for the area in parliamentary debates and within discussions within the Scottish cabinet and will continue to do so should you lend me your support at polling stations on Friday.

Any government led by the Scottish Progressives will work to renew this area: we will work to renew the Scottish economy, the healthcare system, the region’s transport infrastructure, and much more.

For example, to combat unacceptably high levels of youth unemployment, we will create a Small Business Kickstart Scheme which will fund the creation of jobs for 16 to 24 year olds at small and medium-sized businesses. As well as helping reduce youth unemployment by boosting jobs across Scotland, this scheme will also provide much-needed financial investment into Scotland’s small businesses, many of which are increasingly struggling to survive in the face of competition from online retail and from wealthy transnational corporations.

We will also renew the Scottish economy by investing in Scotland’s green industries to spark a Green Industrial Revolution and create many well-paid jobs in the process. As part of this, we will support investment into green energy to decarbonise our electricity and heating grids, into green agriculture and a new Agricultural Revolution to back Scottish farmers, into protecting the natural environment a

I went to Mercat in Kirkcaldy and I know it's almost Halloween but did Mercat just turn into a convention?

Seen furry in the door 2 cool Ghostbusters people with music and Star wars.

Hello all and a happy new year!

We're back for a new year, with the same old shite. This week, we chat about:

- Festive fixture frenzy analysis

- Scottish Cup review and previews ahead of this weekend

- Early new year transfer talk

and...we launch our BRAND NEW r/ScottishFootball Q&A segment. Thanks to everyone who submitted a question. We'll be reminding you all every week about this so please keep them coming when we post.

As ever, any thoughts and feedback appreciated. Listen below:

Listen on Soundcloud here.

This week's episode will be live on Spotify and Apple Podcasts ASAP, so make sure to subscribe to 'TalkingBaws' if you haven't already.

A big thank you to our own u/these_ideas for helping us celebrate our new partnership with the piece below!

https://preview.redd.it/our0fl0qdz961.jpg?width=1142&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27daabdd793871271999e0d7c2e6534f1f59b564

Hope everyone had a good weekend and enjoyed what football managed to survive the weather.

We'll be back recording on Wednesday this week so we're looking for any and all questions you may have for our new r/ScottishFootball Q&A segment of the show. Fire them in the replies below and we'll do our best to get through as many as we can!

Also, thanks to freezing temperatures, some of our Scottish Cup previews are still relevant from our latest podcast. If you haven't listened already, you can do so below:

Listen on Soundcloud

Listen on Spotify

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Thanks folks!

After a morning of campaigning, model-ceasar found himself at a march down Kirkcaldy high street. The march, organised by “Parents 4 Reform”, are calling for whoever is in office next term to do something to tackle waiting lists at GPs and Hospitals across the region. Sensing an opportunity, Ceasar grabbed a megaphone from one of the organisers, jumped onto a small vantage point on the makeshift stage, and began to talk.

“Hey hey everyone”

Not many people stopped at first, but eventually, and because campaign staff were giving dirty looks to people, they did and listened to what ceasar had to say.

“It’s amazing to see so many people passionate out here fighting for what you believe in. And it’s ideal really because what you are fighting for is exactly what I am fighting for, better healthcare for us and our children. You’re out here demanding waiting list issues are dealt with, well I’m across the constituency campaigning on a manifesto which will do exactly that.”

“Some of this is just common sense really. More GPs in an area means shorter waiting times. And we have a plan to open new GP surgeries in areas with high waiting times. We'll set up grants which will allow for more surgeries to open. It also makes sense that with GPs competing, services will improve as they compete for your service right? It just makes sense that when there is competition, and GPs know they need patients, they’ll push to improve their surgery. So with one action we are both cutting waiting times and making existing surgeries push to do better.”

“Now I know this isn’t really the point of the march but let me ask you. How many of you find that there is a closer GP surgery on your commute, or near your child's school, but because of outdated catchment area rules you are unable to attend it and instead find yourself going in the opposite direction? Well we have a plan to deal with that too with catchment area rules reform. It is silly that you can’t go to a GP surgery near your child's school if it is easier to get to, and we’ll make sure you can.”

“So I’ll let you get back to marching. I just want to say one more thing. I’m model-ceasar and vote for New Britain this Friday to get the healthcare reforms you are out here demanding today.”

I've moved to Kirkcaldy in March. Before that, I wrote in r/Scotland that I will be moving here and called it lovely Kirkcaldy and some people were quick to point out that Kirkcaldy is anything but lovely and pretty dirty.

Well... Kirkcaldy has its weird parts, but damn the coast is lovely. And there are a few more parts of this town that I like. I pat myself on the back once a week for moving here.

And since I've mentioned the coast, the park next to it is full of bluebells. Like... overrun with them. They look and smell amazing. And here's my question: how come this town doesn't have a bluebell festival?

It would be a great occasion to meet in the park, listen to some Scottish music, eat streat food, buy handmade stuff and maybe raise some money for good causes.

I'm seriosly considering submitting a proposal to the council. :)

Opinions?

I know, I am pretty much talking alone in a void here, but hey this sub must start somewhere. :)