Hi all, I've been lurking here for awhile. I've posted elsewhere about our situation but I'm wanting some feedback from people who are going through this or have been.
Backstory: my husband and our 3 kids have had our 2 niblings living with us for the past several months. CPS removed them from the home due to severe neglect, disgusting living conditions, parental alcohol abuse, etc. The kiddos are doing great with us, they're really thriving. My kids love having them here, they all play well together, etc. Their parents (my Sibling and their Spouse) are recently out of jail and in their rehab programs. No visits or contact at all since the removal.
So, obviously it's going to be a long while before the kids are able to go back home, if ever. We're in this for the long haul, we actually changed the design of our house that's being built to better suit 5 kids! My husband is over the moon having them here and wants to keep them forever. However, the more time that passes for me, the less thrilled I am about the prospect, if only because the majority of the stress falls to me to handle. That's just how it is for now and I'm coping.
Anyway, my question is, for those that did kinship care (or maybe even foster families that stayed in touch after the child moved on), how do you deal with that? Sibling and Spouse were some of our closest friends, our kids were growing up more like siblings than cousins even before this. I can't see myself ever going back to being friends with them after what they did, but I love my niblets as much as my own kids, so how do I balance seeing and visiting the kids after they (hopefully) go back home? What was it like for you guys?
Sorry if I'm not making sense, it's getting late and I'm tired! I'll answer questions as I'm able, thanks for any wisdom or advice!
What are the requirements? We will be trying to get niece and nephew placed with us tomorrow when they're removed from current kinship placement with grandfather and great grandmother. The 2 adults and 2 children are currently in a 2 bedroom so idk what the sleeping arrangements are but great grandma may not be included on paper as living there.
We have a 4 bedroom, hubby and I in master, my sister and niece share a room, our boys (8 and 13) each have their own room. Will they allow our boys to share a room so niece (3) and nephew (7) can share a room?
I've tried looking everywhere online but I can't get any information for just Nova Scotia. It's all Ontario or Alberta. And by leave I mean if I just go to my real parents' house and live there will the children's aid be able to take me? I'm almost an adult and I think this is ridiculous.
I am 28y/o, living in Utah, wondering about siblings ages 7y, 4y, and 9.5 months living in Arkansas. Due to some ongoing family drama, and being an anxious person, I'm playing out every possible outcome in my head. A few of them involve the worst-case scenario of my youngest siblings getting removed from their home with my father and stepmother. If that were the case, would there be any possible way for me to foster them across state lines? They technically have a biological grandmother who lives nearby, but I also believe she lives the next state over in Louisiana, and she is not financially or physically in a state to care for three young children. Neither are my other two adult siblings. Would there be any way to set myself up for 'in the eventuality' of them needing kinship care (not just for this worst-case scenario, but should anything happen to my stepmother and father in general in the future)? This isn't an urgent matter by any means, as this is all 'worst possible outcome' hypothesizing, but it helps ease my mind to have plans and answers ahead of time.
(Also, not sure on which flair to use, let me know if I need to change it)
Hello. I could use advice on how to get help with my 10 year old niece, who has lived with me since January 2020. Before that she had lived with my parents for several months. Child Services has been involved since my niece was born with NAS but have never removed my niece from her parents' care. I called them about a year ago and they said there's nothing they could do because the child is safe.
Fast forward to today...the mother is in a half way house an hour away dating another person at the same house who has been in and out of a mental hospital. The father (my brother) is clean but homeless and is basically a teenager mentally due to drug use. He lives locally but is nothing beyond a play date at this point. Neither of them have contributed to the care of my niece. Up to this point, I have been hesitant to request TANF and thus child support out of compassion for their situation but neither are making good choices so I'm rethinking things. While I'm ok financially, I'm still digging out of student debt and would love to be able to build for the future for both of us.
In addition, my niece has behavioral issues from past trauma and it's stressful. I often end up with bruises when she becomes violent. After fighting for a year (PA requires both parents to sign off on counseling) I was finally able to get her into counseling last November. I also got my brother to sign a POA this week so I have some parental rights but my niece is a handful and I'm afraid it's only going to get worse as she hits her preteens and teens.
Has anybody has gone through something similar? Is there anything else I can do to get more resources and support? Thanks in advance for your help!
Introduced: Sponsor: Rep. Susan Wild [D-PA7]
This bill was referred to the House Committee on Education and Labor which will consider it before sending it to the House floor for consideration.
Rep. Susan Wild [D-PA7] is a member of the committee.
So my brother recently fostered and adopted three of my sisters children, now one of the three is acting out and causing trouble for him (after 5 years), now he wants to give her back to the state, instead my s/o and I said we would adopt her instead through a kinship adoption. Does anyone have any experience with a similar situation, I know she gets state benefits health insurance, dental, school funding when she gets to college age, a small ss income check and a small state check, do those benefits transfer? As a kinship adoption would we receive the adoption credit at the end of tax year or will he? Should I get a lawyer, I know he is going to get one but idk if we should as well. Any info would help greatly thanks
Has anyone else doing kinship had a massive backlash from other family? How did you cope? Our teenage FD has made it clear in mediation that she doesn’t intend to return to bio mom and doesn’t want contact with her at this time. Reactions from other family range from accusing us of brainwashing FD to threatening us to shaming us for not being comfortable having contact with (extremely confrontational) bio mom outside of mediation right now. We’ve completely rearranged our lives so that we could be there for FD, CS says we’re doing a great job, and FD is making her wishes known through a lawyer assigned by CS (whom she meets with privately). There’s no convincing family that we’re not the bad guys and it’s so hard and hurtful. Any words of advice?
I'm 21 years old (22 next month) and I have two children of my own. As of next month I will be taking kinship care of my 3 year old nephew. I was just wondering what tips or suggestions everyone has for a first timer!
Peer into my life (Kinship Siblings Placement). I am a single foster parent with zero children experience. I took care my brother (who is 20 years younger than me) we never had really met until several months ago.
Feel free to share or comment if you can relate.
--------------
Dear Whomever,
It has been 7 months and I am extremely proud of myself for taking care of and raising my 7-year-old brother. I had made a lot of sacrifices to help raise him on behalf of my mother’s absence. I have dropped college, lost pay, reduced work hours, and spent 7 months driving back and forth to therapy and visitation appointments 2x a week for 27 weeks. Working 40 hours a week is not manageable without any support or daycare.
There were times where I felt scared, confused, and frustrated during this process and I thought it and my brother would be too much for me to handle, but I kept trying and improving, and I received a lot of praise and compliments which refuted the doubts I was having.
Many times, I thought I was not competent to raise a child especially because I had never raised one of my own and never had an interest to have children. Getting a 7-year-old overnight was extremely overwhelming for me. I had no clue what I was doing, and I felt like I was running into the dark alone and blindfolded while people observed me from a distance. Some people were watching for support, some were watching for entertainment, and some were watching and waiting for me to fail.
Sadly, even though I did the best I could do to keep my brother with me, When the question was asked...I was not able to commit to a decision whether I wanted to adopt my brother and be his “mom” or remain his sibling. As result, the team decided that it was in his best interest to place him with another relative as a contingency plan in case the goal for reunification turns into permanency because the other relatives were wanting to adopt.
Now that he is moving to another relative’s household…. I am not sure when I will see my brother again (relatives live out of state). I hope that he knows that I love him and will remember the fun times we spent together, and that I tried to make it a positive experience for him.
Thank you to everybody that has supported me during this journey.
“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together
... keep reading on reddit ➡Looking for insight/experiences. I’m a first-time foster parent. Our FD has been with us almost 7 months. About 1.5 months ago her bio uncle started the process of becoming licensed as a kinship placement for her. We’ve been told that he has passed all inspections and will be licensed at any moment now, and that we’re just waiting for our social worker to approve the transfer from our care to his.
For the past 1.5 months, per the social worker’s recommendation, we’ve been doing virtual visits with uncle and his children once a week for 15 minutes. Our FD hasn’t had any in-person visits with him, and we’ve been told that she probably won’t. Is it common for a foster child to move to a kinship placement without first having visits with them? Has anyone experienced this?
(For context, FD is 2 years old and she hasn’t seen this uncle in over a year so she is not familiar with him)
My nephew is someone I’m raising. His parents are abroad due to problems and in the one left to care for him. It’s not something official because I’m trustworthy to them. I have public assistance... do I get to apply him too if he needs some aid? Sorry don’t know how this works... I know kinship process’s requires hearing but at this point I don’t know how that will be possible.
New York resident
As the post implies I’m in SC. Recently a false report was filed and my kids have been moved to kinship care due to the seriousness of the allegations. I’m currently unemployed but have some potential job offers coming from out of state as well as possibly activating with my Army Reserve unit which would move me out of state as well. My question is if this happens can I get my kids back as we’re moving outside the jurisdiction of SC DSS or what would be the procedure to get them back at this point? I don’t want my kids living 4 hours away from me.
Hey all! I see a bunch of comments on here of people looking for hydrating mineral sunscreens, so I figured I'd type up a full review of one of my favorites: Kinship Self-Reflect Probiotic Moisturizing Sunscreen (SPF 32). This is an all Zinc-Oxide, non-nano, mineral sunscreen with a creamy silicone-free base that is lightly tinted and gives a dewy, slightly shimmery (NOT GLITTERY) finish. It's very hydrating and soothing, which is a bit unusual for a zinc sunscreen.
Filters & SPF: 22.4% Non-Nano Zinc Oxide SPF 32
Full (inactive) Ingredients: Water (Aqua), Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Coconut Alkanes, Cetearyl Alcohol, Glycerin, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice*, Pyrus Malus (Apple) Fruit Extract, Coco-Glucoside, Lactobacillus Ferment, Rubus Idaeus (Red Raspberry) Seed Oil*, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Liquid Endosperm, Curcuma Longa (Turmeric) Rhizomes Oil*, Butyrospermum Parkii Nut Extract, Hydrolyzed Jojoba Esters, Tocopherol, Dipotassium Glycyrrhizate, Vanilla Planifolia Fruit Extract, Glycyrrhiza Glabra (Licorice) Root Extract, Butylene Glycol, Isostearic Acid, Lecithin, Polyglyceryl-3 Polyricinoleate, Polyhydroxystearic Acid, Coco-Caprylate/Caprate, Caprylyl/Capryl Glucoside, Sclerotium Gum, Cetearyl Glucoside, Ethylhexylglycerin, Xanthan Gum, Octyldodecanol, Tapioca Starch, Citric Acid, Sorbitan Oleate, Phenoxyethanol, Sodium Benzoate, Potassium Sorbate, May contain +/- Iron Oxides (CI 77491, CI 77492)
Ingredient Callouts: Silicone Free, Alcohol-free (contains fatty alcohols), fragrance free (does use Vanilla Planiforia Fruit Extract for scent), Vegan, Cruelty-Free, Reef-Safe (but not waterproof)
Price & Where to buy: $25 USD for 50g, Online, direct from Kinship
About my skin/climate: I'm 23 and have Rosacea (both generalized Erythema and papules) with very dry skin. I live in a sunny but not warm climate with a fair amount of humidity. I have extremely sensitive skin and can only tolerate mineral filters. Fitzpatrick III (but pale because Rosacea).
What it looks like on: https://imgur.com/a/l2abDtE
It's very hydrating and gives a nice dewy finish. This gives a mild blurring effect and does help disguise my redness. It has a slight shimmer to it, but it's not glittery. The tint is fair, and cool/pink toned. When you initially rub it in, it has a white cast but it settles to match my skin fairly well. If you're darker, the color of the tint and the white cast from a high % Zinc
... keep reading on reddit ➡To make a very long story short, my wife and I are fostering siblings. One is about 3 years old and we have been fostering her for almost two years. Her sibling we have been fostering since birth (so about a year at this point). We have had them for the majority of their life, they have had VERY little contact with any biological relatives, and they are very attached to us. I mean, the kids are completely integrated into our family and call us "mommy and daddy". This wasn't encouraged, it just came naturally. We are the only ones they have known.
Suddenly (over the last month), social services is pushing hard for a kinship placement. They are fast tracking this by introducing the kids through video conferencing to the relative. The possible plan is to do a couple of video chats, then a couple of in person visits, then a couple of overnight weekend visits, then place them with them by the end of October. This was really out of the blue and feels so forced (especially with COVID-19 going around). A few people think that it's because they state is pushing to drop cases from their caseload fast because of funding issues.
It's definitely been emotional whiplash and it has been hard to handle. It also feels super shady and not in the best interest of the kids, especially for the older one. What advice would you give on how to handle this? As their current caregiver, it is apparent that doing things so quickly could be detrimental for the older child's development. How should we prepare for this or advocate better for the kids? This is all so emotionally draining. I appreciate any thoughts on this.
Kinship not foster so I receive no $. The baby has regular (one sometimes 2) appointments over 60 miles away every month. Every day I spend an extra $2.50 in gas because day care is in the opposite direction work. A relatively Insignificant amount until you add it up to close to $50 a month. I get day care vouchers but I have always worked overtime, about $500 to $1000 a month which I have to in order to make ends meet. I haven’t done overtime since I had him the last 7 months, assuming this would be a fast turn around of a few months, but in this time I completely drained my savings to pay bills because of it. Now I am beginning to work OT but pay a babysitter $50 each shift. Is this or gas an expense the parents should pay? They are costs I wouldn’t otherwise have. Bio mom told me that it’s not her fault I have to work overtime to pay my bills, but I’ve always done it and counted that income when I bought my house years prior to this baby, and my car. That was part of my life was working OT. Unrelated but also a vent: I asked parents for gas money and they blew me off so I got mad and basically yelled at them that their baby cost me xxx dollars and was mean, after her comment about it’s not her fault I can’t afford to live without OT.....I was steaming. I feel guilty to react but financially I am scared not having a savings. So, their or my financial obligation?
Edit: in my comments I’ve gone in a rant and I apologize, just stressed. I’m not looking for comments for that info so much as what financially I am being reasonable to expect from them
Update: after a lot of venting it became clear that I am in a position that I can no longer sustain I told both parents that I am not giving up yet but that I am not sure how much longer I can maintain this so they can be more emotionally and mentally prepared when I tell them this is going to have to go and be a foster care case. Emotionally I am broken at the thought, but as a single mother with three boys already, baby being the 4th, I am not providing any of these for boys what they deserve and I am losing myself as well. 🙁☹️
I have had temporary safety provider status for seven months. Mom just got out of jail and birth dad has a new girlfriend and mom is having issues with it. She is demanding she has the right to know when the baby sees the father and who is there for those visits, as in if the girlfriend is there or not. I told her I don’t know if it’s her right that we need to talk to caseworker, from there she went on saying she gets to know whoever her kid is around and gets to say no. She is now saying babysitters have to be approved by CPS with a background check.....??? She is saying that she gets to decide which of my friends get to be around him or not, and other words I can’t have friends over and less she approves it? Is there any fact to this?
My 3 nieces was taken around the beginning of July. The mom would rather them be in foster care and separated than with me. I have no idea why, she said it’s because I’m unreliable to take them to appointments for CPS. Which I don’t understand because I have a car and license. I am in a different county but only 40 minutes away. That’s not a bad drive. She has had 2 hearings, the social worker I could go to the next one and after that, she has no say to where they go. I am looking into taking the foster parent classes and cpr/first aid and universal classes.
- Will online for/first since and universal cautions look good or do they have to be in person?
- Any suggestions on how to do them cheap?
I am in NC. I am currently laid off bc of the virus and waiting for my workplace to reopen. I have read varying things about the stipend. 3. Would I receive it with kinship care? 4. Do I have to take the fostering classes before I can get them?
I have a room almost ready for them and have been picking up clothes/toys/books/etc. I am trying to get a bunk bed for the 2 older girls, ages 6 and 7 and a smaller bed/or maybe twin for the almost 5 year old. I also don’t have car seats, will they come with their car seats from their mom? 5. What are the costs for car seats? 6. Can they be used?
I found a used bunk bed that comes with mattresses for around $200, I’d have to rent a truck to get it. From the pictures, it looks pretty good. 7. Are used mattresses a no no?
I am single, on medication for bipolar and anxiety, not really too much family or friends and I don’t have any kids. Will this hurt me?
The girls love me and I love them so much. They make me so happy. I just want to give them a safe, loving and happy home. They deserve so much more than what they’ve been given.
I’ve researched a lot on raising kids and been arlund kids my whole life. All 3 girls have stayed me for up to a week at a time so I do know how hard it is. They are worth it.
Any suggestions/tips or answers are appreciated.
In short: I have a pregnant cousin in Florida who is in a poor situation. Her mother is not in a position to step up either in the event that her daughter can not pull it together for this new baby. My partner and I happen to be planning our own foster care journey here in Georgia. We are looking to gather information about kinship care, both foster care and adoption just incase we come into a position to care for this baby girl. Bonus points for any information pertaining to the fact that we are in separate states.
Obviously there are a million scenarios that could play out, and i am really hoping this is the big event that helps my cousin get he rlife on track but I am also a realist and I like to be well informed and prepared. Thanks in advance!
I’m beginning to get pretty concerned about my younger brother. He is 10 and talks a lot about wanting to hurt himself, sets the bed every night, etc I’m thinking about taking care of him myself. No idea what BPDmum will do in reaction, but he needs a stable home life. If you have any stories of doing this yourself please let me know. I’m currently trying to get information from my local authorities etc, and they don’t seem to know where I need to start at all.
I read this in 2013 for English class but it could have been written anytime before then.
The book is about a little girl who's father is abusive to her and her mother. Her mother then kills herself and her father gets custody. Eventually her father loses custody and she goes to a couple different kinship placements. During this time her dad shows up at her school one day yelling and not sober, trying to see her and I think give her money.
At one point she goes to an emergency foster home that she really likes but then moves to kinship. I think the couple in that home were teachers?
Then around the end she attends church often and at the church sees a large family and it's a foster family. She runs away one day and runs to that family's home to ask to live with them and they take her. I'm pretty sure they have horses and she gets nice food and stuff there.
She talks about magicians and magic a lot throughout the book, I think one part Is about a magic box?
Now I get that it can be great in many ways but so many Kinship placements are unprepared and unable to care for Foster Kids.
We have had so far two kids leave our care too live with family that has ended in disaster, one of which we were able to take back.
Our current kid was in (info the case worker has told us) Foster Care for five months with a family that she really liked. But her Grandmother offered to take her in, but then demanded a disruption three months in. The previous foster family was contacted but had no room to take her.
We had her call the previous family tonight as she knew their phone number and wanted to talk. They seemed relieved to know she was ok. We talked to the previous Foster Mother briefly (away from the Foster kid) and she said she had had brief interactions with the Grandmother before they took her there and just knew it was not good and would not last.
Sorry, just have to vent a bit. I totally get the idea of placing kids with relatives but so often their relatives are just as bad or even worse than the parents. This current kid has had four homes in the last year. She is doing well so far but what a confusing mess
My two nephews are in the system and my husband and I have been pushing towards kinship care for a few months now (unfortunately the cps office local to their case just lost half their workers, so they’ve been shuffled around a lot and our information has been lost more than once).
The caseworker informed us today that there are other relatives (she said the name quickly, so I might have misheard, but it’s no one I recognize) who’ve requested kinship and they’re months ahead of us in the process.
It feels like a sudden monkey wrench in the proceedings. This family lives close and is able to visit the kids and already has a few times, whereas we’re located further away and it’s a $2k or more flight each time plus hotel plus rental car etc if we want to go out to see them, which we obviously do. They are months ahead of us on paperwork and their home study is underway, whereas turnaround in our state for completing the homestudy and getting your ICPC approved is 6 months to a year for most cases. A big part of us being able to take these kids was my husband’s work, which will reimburse adoption associated costs. Our travel costs and extra furniture and other initial costs will all be covered, if the kids are placed with us pending the termination of parental rights and with a focus toward adoption, which was what we were looking at in our initial contact with case workers. But now, if we go through all of that and then the selection committee decides to place the kids with the other family, none of it will be reimbursed and we’ll be faced with a lot of debt. I don’t know if the other family is operating with that same level of risk
In addition, it feels…silly? To be competing against another family for these kids when all any of us want is for them to be happy, and safe, and stable, away from their birth parents. If they’re decent people, then the kids will get those things from them, and what business do I have trying to wrestle the kids away, you know?
I guess I’m looking for advice. The social worker seemed positive about my kinship application, and the potential for us to foster-to-adopt these kids, but I’m feeling very insecure knowing this mystery family is out there in the ether.
R/KinshipCare
I hope this is allowed! I have followed this community for awhile now and love the content, but also wanted to start a community for those who are officially or informally looking after family members (or have in the past or are interested in doing so)! If this fits your situation - come join us! Thanks!
So without going into too much detail I have been asked to take my 12yo cousin in because she is stressed out living with her grandma who has lung cancer and has to drive with her 4hrs a day to get to chemo in another town. She apparently called my aunt having a break down, doesnt want to watch her grandmother die and have chemo. She is not in any type of school that I know of at the moment. Father passed away, mother is in jail, my grandmother had custody but passed away last winter. I do not know who has official custody, nobody I have talked to seems to know.
I have been asked to take her in for a few days(?) and her grandmother is meeting me at her house to have coffee and let me take my little cousin to my house. She seems to be okay with the arrangement but I have been warned by my mother and aunt that she is "psychotic" and probably will abscond with her before I get there. To be honest I dont fully trust what my mother and aunt say about the situation.
My mother insists that when she gets paid on Friday that she will be down to take my cousin away about 6hrs away. I had a pretty awful childhood with drugs (not hard drugs however), constant screaming, fighting and stuff like that and homelessness/pretty bad poverty. I really dont feel comfortable letting a child go into a household like that (I think they are better off now but from what I hear it seems like it is still paycheque to paycheque). My mother says that my cousin's mother is giving her guardian ship but has not heard from social services for a few weeks. I dont know if legally she is allowed to take my cousin away? I dont even know what my rights are, as far as I know I am just giving her a place to stay while she can calm down and not have to travel so far each day.
I know I've probably left stuff out so please ask me questions, I'll answer to the best of my knowledge. I feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing and I dont know what to do. I dont want to call social services and face the wrath of my family but I feel like I have a responsibility to find out what is and what isnt supposed to happen with my little cousin.
Throwaway.
My cousin's girlfriend just had a baby 4-5 days ago. We didn't even know she was expecting. I don't even know who she is, to be honest. His girlfriends are always fly by night. The baby has since been taken by the county. I am not sure why, but I would bet my bottom dollar it was born addicted to drugs. The baby is in a foster home. My cousin and I are not particularly close. We once were, but a few years ago he stole prescription medication form my mother, and obviously that strained the relationship.
I am a 27 year old who has been married for a year. Both of us have fantastic paying jobs and we own our own home. Would it be a good idea to look into kinship guardianship until the parents can figure their shit out? How would I even go about that? No one has asked or requested anything of us, but the thought of that baby being raised by strangers, especially around Christmas time, makes me so sad. Thanks for any insight you can provide.
Introduced: Sponsor: Sen. Margaret “Maggie” Hassan [D-NH]
This bill was referred to the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions which will consider it before sending it to the Senate floor for consideration.
Sen. Margaret “Maggie” Hassan [D-NH] is a member of the committee.
