Chocolate Puns That Will Justify Your Chocolate Addiction laughitloud.com/chocolate…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laughitloud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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I like the smell of my wife whenever she complains about justifiable points

I really like her fairer moans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I'm trying to eat more kale because it's healthy. But when I see it on my plate, I ask myself...

Do the ends really justify the greens?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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I'm a utilitarian when it comes to social media.

The ends justify the memes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The N’s justify the means.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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The end justifies the means.

http://i.imgur.com/IDcfdGB.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flarn2006
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2016
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Justifying his cursing.

My dad used to always say "DAMN" when my sister and I were little (he still does).

We used to always say "Daddy stop saying that! It's a bad word."

He would always reply "It's not a bad word, that's what beavers build!"

Now I say damn all the time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ofthebaltic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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I saw a cop zap a criminal with a Taser, but then shocked him again when he was already on the ground...

The first one was probably justified, the the second one was just re-volting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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My sister is a really good defensive driver

Anytime someone looks at her she starts justifying her actions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Savannah_P_Frost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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My boss thought the spacing in my report was weird

But I felt it was justified

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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I just typed up a strongly worded complaint using paragraph formatting tools ...

It was entirely justified!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I feel awful because I scolded my son after he gave me my 50th birthday card

But part of me feels justified because one would have been enough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulmessedupman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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All the props from the bay watch TV show recently sold at auction for well over the asking price.

When the winner was asked how she could justify the expense for old towels? Her response was that it is still the best way to dry Hoff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitespys
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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The ends...

Wife (making sandwiches and referring to the end slices of bread): β€œDo you want the ends?”

Me: as long as they justify the means.”

Wife: (groans)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhelling1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike

People would routinely bring him bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jchazu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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My English Professor got weirdly angry at the formatting of my essay.

It wasn’t justified.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
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A Triple Crown Winner?

Affirmed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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My dad used to tell me that snakes are mean because they have two ends and no feet.

The ends justify the mean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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My wife is terrified of spiders

But she’s a housefly so it’s totally justified.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Statisticians love large sample sizes.

As they say, the n’s justify the means.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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a group of crows is a murder.

a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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We were looking at drug prices at work.

Coworker: This is a racket. How do they justify charging an extra $3000 for something like sodium bicarbonate?

Me: Right? It's not like it's some fancy, top-secret compound. It's pretty basic.

My other coworker is a chem major about to enter grad school. He made me go work in the corner for a while after that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C21H27Cl3N2O3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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Got my wife reading a book

Me: "You've been reading that book for a really long time. Does it suck?"
Wife: "Not really. It's mostly just heavy"
Me: "I could get you a little stand to hold it if you would like."
Wife: doesn't look up from book as i stare at her "I'm not going to justify that with anything"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigfoot13442
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2016
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Superfight is a fun game to play

Superfight is a tabletop game where you make a character with random attributes from the selection of cards dealt to yourself. You will need to justify how your character and their attributes can beat your opponent's character.

We were playing this through Tabletop Simulator and I played a character card titled "Leonardo".

Gf: Dicaprio or Da Vinci

Me: No, DaTurtle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alecx3
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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