On This Mother’s Day, We Need More Women to be Like Jochebed thelibertyloft.com/on-thi…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLibertyLoft
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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I tried to change things up a little and put on my gakuran while trying to cosplay as my character Jochebed, a non binary fighting princess. (sound familiar?)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannibalDuchess
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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This is Jochebed. I'm just thankful my parents gave me a better name than they gave her. imgur.com/2Ng7AgC
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lyd_Euh
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2017
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Modern-Day Jochebed

Like a modern-day Jochebed she sent her baby drifting down the river, watching earnestly as the basket disappeared over the falls. Satisfied her gift was accepted, she went in search of a new mate to prepare for next year's offering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Outside_Normal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rumblebully
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Von_Bostaph
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
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Rational
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mainhoonmadrasi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zayan-ali
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
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Hebrew girl's name - that I am able to pronounce!

Please help me choose an Israeli name for myself! I am moving to Israel and would like to go by a Hebrew name.

The name "Jochebed" was the first name that really stuck with me and felt like it would suit me. However I cannot pronounce "ch" and as much as I love this name I feel like I should probably be able to pronounce my own name and not be embarrassed every time I introduce myself.

Another name I like is "Michal" but again, same problem. I also cannot roll "r" but can make a decent attempt (my English name has an "r").

I would like a fairly traditional name, Biblical or non-Biblical, and a name that would not usually be used outside of a Hebrew-speaking community. Also would like a name that will be immediately recognized as a name rather than a word eg "aviv".

If it helps to identify my naming style, English names I like include Miriam, Melissa, Abby, Petra, Leah (but not Lia). I tend not to like names that start with S or K. I like names that I perceive to be soft, simple and feminine.

Thanks in advance!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/no8andsunshine
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzagri
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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I'd ruther not say
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tieyz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mediashiznaks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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Gottemm
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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so many choices
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2021
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Well that didn't cross my mind
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasonPetreasCoach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
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He knows too much
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato_salad123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2021
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where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigus-_-dickus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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3.14159265387279 snek
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2021
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Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/motherduck5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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Rock bottom
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theo19555
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2021
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Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"

That was the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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What pan is the best to make sushi in?

Japan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Most-Stomach4240
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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I threw up in the toilet
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2021
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Hot
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexxFruit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
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Saw this on insta @PunHubOnline
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haidi7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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Had a good chuckle
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LittleBigOwl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2021
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Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2021
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At what point does it stop being grave robbing and start being archaeology?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unholy_Jer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
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Proud dad moment.

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaBarbaGuapa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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So my dad just died because he needed blood and we didn’t know his blood type.

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BritishTeeth11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
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The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, β€œI’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

He said, β€œChange the batteries in your hearing aid”.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BritishTeeth11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
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Air and space museum
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romroming
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work

She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eamonn_russell
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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I have been asking everyone what LGBTQ is?

So far no one has given me a straight answer.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesumit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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Oh the tangled web we weave ...
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
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