Like a modern-day Jochebed she sent her baby drifting down the river, watching earnestly as the basket disappeared over the falls. Satisfied her gift was accepted, she went in search of a new mate to prepare for next year's offering.
Phil
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
Well, toucan play at that game.
Please help me choose an Israeli name for myself! I am moving to Israel and would like to go by a Hebrew name.
The name "Jochebed" was the first name that really stuck with me and felt like it would suit me. However I cannot pronounce "ch" and as much as I love this name I feel like I should probably be able to pronounce my own name and not be embarrassed every time I introduce myself.
Another name I like is "Michal" but again, same problem. I also cannot roll "r" but can make a decent attempt (my English name has an "r").
I would like a fairly traditional name, Biblical or non-Biblical, and a name that would not usually be used outside of a Hebrew-speaking community. Also would like a name that will be immediately recognized as a name rather than a word eg "aviv".
If it helps to identify my naming style, English names I like include Miriam, Melissa, Abby, Petra, Leah (but not Lia). I tend not to like names that start with S or K. I like names that I perceive to be soft, simple and feminine.
Thanks in advance!
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
She said apple-lutely
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
second hand stores!
it's Hans free now..
Old Neeeeiiiiighvy
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
That was the punchline
Japan.
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
Feyonce
Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.
I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.
When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."
From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"
Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!
He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
So far no one has given me a straight answer.
