Java 5 Puns

I was telling my wife a story about a programmer that was able to run a computer script on a Coffee Machine.

It would brew the coffee for the person exactly as they reached the machine, my wife jokingly said, "he speaks computer coffee."

That is when Dad Joke came in and I said, you could say that he speaks Java.

She walked outside without saying anything and stared at the yard for a while.

After a stunned silence...

"At least it runs Java now."

I'd like a pun about both Java, as in coffee and the programming language. Looking to print it on a tshirt as a christmas present. Thanks!

One gets people coffee, and the other sends Java programs

I told her to download Java

Recently we got a Keurig in the house, after 20 minutes and one frozen touch screen later I uttered the phrase this thing must run on Java.

It took me a second after hearing the groans.

It asked for a pick-up line using topics from our class (Programming Languages). Here's what I wrote:

>Smalltalk is nice, but how about a date over a nice cup of Java?

^My ^first ^dad ^joke! ^^I'm ^^so ^^proud ^^of ^^myself

Her-"Sorry about the delay sir our computers are slow in the morning"

Me- "You should enable java script!"

My business professor has a dad like sense of humor and he was talking about thing's that pop up on your computer and ask for updates and he goes:

"What's that one that always pops up...Java...Applet? What the hell is an Applet anyway? Is it just a small apple?"

A colleague from the .net department came into our department (java) and said, i must have forgotten my coffee here, he picked it up and on his way back to his department a colleague told him that he accidentally took his fish with him