Jargoon Puns

There's a ton of online games out there, and all of those games have their own set of jargoon / lingo regarding used terminology and whatnot, that the base player is used to use regularly, however, new players don't have that kind of knowledge and is a headache to try to figure out what does those acronyms and so means, specially if you're a casula player and have other things to do that playing constantly

as example TERA online has a small piece on the main page related to the most used terms, this is highly welcomed (for me at least), because it gives me cues related to stuff that i would be seeing on the game constantly, and that would take me some time to figure it out in my own

Game Date/Time: January 19th, 2019, 12:00 PM PST (that's noon)

Duration: ~About Four Hours

Players Needed: 2-5

Communications: Discord for voice, Roll20 for everything else

Briefing: NRO, NASA and AFSPC satellite imagery have located a bogey in the exosphere.

Upon further observation, the object is an artificial satellite in polar orbit around the earth. The design is a torus ring attached to a captured asteroid by a spoke, which extends outward to a docking ring on the end. The torus is present day tech, thirty years old at the most, maybe half that. Here's the part that makes it our business: The asteroid portion has signs of artificial shaping, and the weathering marks it in the thousands of years old.

We've been looking up at the night sky for thousands of years, and looking at it with modern imaging technology for more than fifty. There's no way we could have missed this for that long unless something was deliberately hiding it. That means something changed. Probably not something good.

While it would be hypothetically possible to ballistically de-orbit a space station, even a modest expenditure of ordnance for this purpose would burn up all our operational and political capital at USSTRATCOM, draw the attention of every government on the planet, violate several international treaties, and accelerate Kessler syndrome by three decades. That option is therefore staying in our back pocket as a last resort. Fortunately, we've got a better alternative.

SpaceX is conducting tests of its Dragon 2 cargo spacecraft this year. In the interest of keeping future NASA and NRO contracts flowing, they'll accept a few alterations to the mission trajectory, along with up to 5 passengers and an NDA or two. Guess who gets to go into space with them?

We've chosen you for this because you're good at your jobs, and you've got the skills and aptitudes necessary to board an unknown ancient and potentially alien satellite in orbit around our planet, figure out what going on up there, and do whatever needs to be done to fix it. You'll receive all the training we can give you for operating in space. The rest is up to you.

PLAYER INFORMATION: You'll be given Special Training: Basic Astronaut Training (INT) and Special Training: Microgravity Movement (Athletics) for this adventure. This will familiarize your Agent with the equipment and procedures to operate in space, regardless of their existing skillset, meaning you can bring any character you

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

When I got home, they were still there.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

free

Because his Visa didn’t work.

Because the audience only responds in a low ha