Instilled Puns

The dad splits up from the boys in the morning, leaving them the task of getting food for the day.

The boys chance upon a patch full of peas - they have enough for all three meals and to pelt each other with.

Reuniting at the end of the day, the dad asks how it went.

“We played with each other’s peas!” The little one chimes in.

Just a little displeased, dad asks him sternly to clarify.

“We gathered peas, he meant.” Added the middle boy.

“Okay, and what did you have for breakfast?”

“Pea soup.”

“Lunch?”

“Pea soup.”

The boys started sniggering.

“What’s so funny? And what about dinner?”

“Nothing dad. We had pea soup too.”

“Well, that doesn’t seem like much. What did you do all evening?”

Bursting out laughing, they all said:

“Pee soup.”

I think my fear of them was instilled by my Asian mom, who demanded we get As.

We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.

We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.

We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.

So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.

We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??

He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (: