Because it was two tired
... and as you can see, they were Wright
I told her she would roux the day.
Suture self 🤷♂️
I responded that nudists are defined by their lack of jeans
Edit: there->their
Edit 2: Awards? Wow! I'd like to thank the Academy, the community, my wife, and the man who made this post possible, my father in law!
Except Togo.
But I bought him loafers instead.
He has a lot experience working remote
A refuse-nik!
Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.
But I don’t know... I still say there’s something fishy about him.
The frame was remarkable
...tune in at 11, to see his four-casts.
To minimise casual tees
Yeti still insists on doing it.
Sounds like a stretch to me.
How else am I going to keep my stories straight.
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will lecture me.
She said no, just above the knees.
He was in de-nile
Sometimes I think she takes me for granite.
He really keeps me on my toes.
But I didn’t! All they were doing was putting words in my mouth!
So I yelled back "Then how did your foot get in there!"
I just don’t see it.
I said "NO! IT MUST BE A TYPE-O"
He's got all these really weird rules you have to follow, like whenever you eat cabbage, he insists you have to eat it with mayonnaise.
It's just Cole's law.
(Thought of this one whilst trying to come up with puns to annoy my husband. He abhors dad jokes, and receiving this look -_- means I did a good job.)
I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.
I think that’s a stretch.
He felt it was a real tripping hazard.
He says “My campfires are better, man.”
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
But my only way to work is broken down, and I just can't bring myself to tell him.
She called me a massage-anist.
But my wife insists it's for Dyslexia
He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "¡Eso sí que es!"
"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.
But the elder insisted "with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
So thats a turnip for the books.
He wouldn’t techno for an answer.
Nobody expects the spanish intro mission
What a bitch.
Suture self.
Suture self.
But my wife insists that he wrote Dyslexia
