It contains a catholic converter.
>!Smiles π (The first and last letters are a mile apart.)!<
Cuz he was a Weezy baby!
Sir-prise
Finding it was such a breath of fresh air.
Weβre sitting at the table eating dinner and she asks,
βCan humans breathe under water?β
I say, βobviously not.β
She puts her cup of water on top of her head and starts inhaling and exhaling.
She still isnβt talking to me.
Vlad the Inhaler
To this day, she still takes my breath away
Because helium is a no-ball gas.
Do you die from exhaustion?
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."
The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."
The firstο»Ώ chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom. His assassination plot had failed.
He got stomach pane.
".....cuz you got dat assssss, ma!"
I spit out my cornflakes and ironically was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
He spoke very highly off it.
It was a big mist-ache
It's called forensic flies
Vlad The Inhaler.
Arrrrrrrrgon
Or you will sulfer the consequences.
They'll SNES.
I said inhaler I barely know her.
This isn't where they be long.
Icy Dead People!
The Sorcerer's Scone
Sofishticated
Man who has been going to the same bar for years tells his drinking buddies that he has decided to travel the world to view every farm tractor ever made. They all know his love for farm machinery and are quite relieved to be getting rid of him as he bores them half to death with his knowledge of tractors. 5 years later the man goes back to the bar after traveling the world seeing every tractor he could find. The barman looks at him and enquires as to why he looks so glum after achieving his life ambition, He explains that seeing every tractor has taken the shine off his hobby and he doesn't want or need to see anymore tractors. Just then there's a loud bang and the bar starts filling with smoke. Everyone is panicking except our man back from his travels who tells everyone to not panic and stand back, he then inhales all the smoke walks outside and blows all the smoke away. His buddies are amazed and ask how he managed to do this amazing feat, He explains. Simple I'm An Ex tractor fan.
He has tractors books and toys,tractor wallpaper and pajamas, a tractor lunchbox, you name it.
The kids ambition when he grows up is to drive a tractor.
A few years later and the kid is old enough to drive a tractor for the first time,ends up falling out and breaking his leg. This puts him off tractors for good.
A while later he is out in town and hears screams, "help" comes the screams, "that building is burning,there are people trapped inside,they could die of smoke inhalation" The kid goes up to the building,opens a window and cups his hand like a straw. In one breath he sucks all the smoke out and saves the day.
How did you do that asks the crowd watching,that's superhuman. Oh that's nothing says the kid, I am an ex tractor fan!!!
"Uno, dos..."
And then POOF! He disappeared.
Without a tres.
It becomes apparent
The hip replacement guy!
guys
GUYS
GUYS
I HAVE A REALIZATION
Reddit.
*inhales*
^(IT'S BECAUSE YOU)
READ IT
THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE IS A PUN
HOW BLIND WE ARE
He called himself Vlad the Inhaler.
the punchline is too long
2:30
So My roomate invited me to his family Thanksgiving/holiday party yesterday. After dessert we're all sitting around and the children present are being rowdy. My roomate's brother calls them all over to our table and insists on showing them how to make a duck call. He begins ripping apart an empty soda can and wrapping it up in a very complicated fashion with a napkin and a plastic fork. He meticulously takes the top off, makes strips of metal, and winds them into this plastic fork. He carries on like this for about five minutes, the children utterly transfixed, sit watching until his creation is finally "complete". He then holds it up to his mouth, inhales, and shouts: "HERE DUCKY DUCKY DUCKY!!!"
Cuz you got dat ass, ma
....cuz you got dat ass, ma.
