This is a question I've had rolling around in my mind for a while now and I think the answer could in fact be yes for anywhere that the Duluth Model of domestic violence is enforced.
Duluth Model Power and Control Wheel
Headship is definitely considered abuse (if she decides it is). There isn't much difference in wording on the wheel (the "Using male privilege" heading) and what we consider here on this sub as to be Biblical Marriage (headship). For example treating your wife like your helpmeet could easily land you in trouble if she interprets it as you "treating her like a servant". Acting like the head in making decisions will land you in trouble if she wants to raise it for "making all the big decisions". If she disagrees on your interpretation of the roles of husbands and wives in the Bible, now you're violating "being the one to define men's and women's roles."
Don't you dare try to be obedient to Eph 5 where it says husbands are to love their wives for the purpose of bringing her toward sanctification. It might make her feel bad about herself or guilty! Both are abuse in the Duluth Model "making her feel bad about herself" and "making her feel guilty".
Job's response to his wife (Job 2:10) could probably land him in jail today for calling her names (and making her feel bad). Jesus too for that matter with how he rebuked his betrothed bride (disciples, the churches in Revelation, telling Peter, "away from me Satan").
Even the low levels of dread (up to about 5) risk making her feel bad about herself.
The OT is full of warnings from God to his metaphorical wife, Israel. "Threating to leave her" is now abuse.
It seems even complementarinists risk coming under fire. Even egaltarianists too if they ever happen to make her feel bad about something. I used to think it was a joke when people said that abuse is now whatever a woman decides it is, but now I see it was no joke. If egalitarians risk coming under fire, secular relationships too for that matter. So maybe it's even broader than I thought at the beginning - any relationship with a women is illegal if you ever accidently make her feel bad. It seems ridiculous but yet I can't refute it.
Just thought I'd bounce this off you guys to see your thoughts. Since it's just a general discussi
... keep reading on reddit ➡im (f23) in love with a woman (f24) who loves on the other side of the world in a country where gay marriage is illegal. we met in the us while we were in college and became really close, but she decided she wanted to continue to study in her home country.
we stayed friends and stayed in contact during the five years since. she came out to me in college and i came out after she left, but she cant be openly out in her country. we text everyday despite the crazy time difference. i know that she is currently single and ive been trying to subtly flirt, but idk if that's coming across. i dont know if im not being obvious enough or if she is just ignoring it.
i want to go see her. i miss her company a lot. i would like to date but i dont know if a LDR is worth it added on top of the fact she cant come out due to societal pressures in her country and the pandemic that makes international travel hard. i dont even know if she would be interested in a relationship right now. sometimes i feel like she does and then other times it feels like its better not to pursue anything.
idk if i should say anything and possibly ruin our friendship. id rather be her friend than not have her in my life at all.
any advice???
tldr. In love with a friend and wondering if the situation is worth pursuing
I am a woman and have recently entered a relationship with another AFAB. And it could be all fun and happiness, but, because of the laws we live under, it will not be. We can't marry, we can't adopt kids, we will never be seen as anything more than unofficial by the law (meaning issues with inheritance, shared property, rights to medical information when the patient isn't conscious to consent, etc.).
I love this person so much, but I'm scared how we're gonna be together in the future... Any tips on how to feel better with that?
my spouse(f) and i(f) have been married for 6 years but not legally, and today we've just had our biggest fight.
it started when we were exchanging memories about our elementary school days. after i shared my stories, she realized we were practically strangers after not knowing about my past. i thought this was normal as people change especially when theyre kids. perhaps it was because she was shocked on how much i ve changed.
anyway, a few days after that, we were having a normal conversation. and then i was abt to tell her something but stopped because i realized i was just rambling. i trained myself to stop oversharing and ranting especially when people dont care so i wont regret anything later on. but when i stopped, she asked me what i was going to say and i said it didnt matter cus ik she ll prolly just get bored and uninterested in what im saying. so she started saying stuff like "you dont trust me do you" "youre gonna leave me one day like how everyone else left me" "am i not trustworthy" n stuff like that. i explained that i was only abt to say dumb and uninteresting stuff but she was like "oh ok so u dont trust me". i gave her assurance ofc that i trusted her and wont leave her but why do i feel like its her that wont trust me D:
i dont even know what to do, i asked her what should i do to make her believe me and she was like "idk figure it out you should know" and i think i do know and its that but what am i supposed to do abt it even
tl;dr: spouse says i dont trust her and will leave her because i stop myself from oversharing and have left people in the past even tho i do trust her and wont leave her
UPDATE: we broke up :)
I heard about it in a video clip how the Steven universe ruby Sapphire wedding was pitched in 2014 but same sex marriage wasn't legal in most US states. Just wondering if it's true.
The trauma that of being black queer youth and growing up in a homophobic household is truly something else. I find myself actually hating and deeply resenting everyone here with each passing day. When I think of the fact that I’m still low key insecure about being gay, I think about the role my “family” played. I think about how I don’t even have family, because family shoes you unwavering and unconditional love. They don’t teach you that your going to hell when your a little naive child…that’s horrible and really shows how tone deaf straight parents are.
Then they wonder why I isolate myself away from them every chance I get. I can’t even express myself because my clothes? Too pink. My hair? Too bright. Everything I do this bitch has an issue with. But it’s naturally in her blood as a Nigerian to be overly obsessed with other peoples perceptions of her and her children. I hate being Nigerian, and I just hate these people with everything in me.
Usually when a married couple visits another country, they can enjoy some legal and even financial benefits. This applies especially for things like spouse visas etc.
So what happens when a legally married same sex couple travels to a country where there is no legal same sex marriage? Are they just treated as single travellers?
Hello there
So, it's the last day of pride month🏳️🌈, and it has been a year and a half since my dear friend (transgender) was buried with their dead name against their will. Which ended up becoming the reason why I joined this community. To find a connection and hopefully a new friend.
It's hard to express how upset I am. I'm not sure if upset is even the right word.
I'd like to see if there has been any major uplifting/happy news related to LGBTQ+ in other places.
Can you please send me a card with happy LGBTQ+ news from where you're from?
An anti Tokyo Olympics card would be AMAZING too!! If you don't know what's up with Tokyo 2020, other than the fact that they're trying to force the event in the midst of the pandemic while the vaccine isn't really a thing yet, the article below might be a fun read.
Thank you for checking out this post!
There's also the people who birth 4+ children and aren't able to provide for them or abuse them. Also what would these people say if an infertile person wanted to marry? Will they say check everyone before marriage for infertility, and arrest them if they are?
If this isn't the reason for making same couple marriages illegal then what?
i would have assumed it wouldn’t even need to be made illegal due to the legality of lgbt relationships in general in russia.
anyways. the edgy boys in my school are posting all over their social media about how great it is & how america should make it illegal too.
Since marrying someone is in a way a form of legal bounding of 2 people together, as well as formally vowing to take care of each other “in sickness and in health, till death do us part” breaking that vow with cheating should 100% be illegal and punishable by law. This should of course apply to any gender in any marriage and would not discriminate as to whether the person was male/female/non-binary/other and would be applied to both members of the marriage.
The victim of the cheating should be compensated for the time and effort put into the relationship that was wasted by the cheater. Also, if the couple has a kid, the cheater should automatically lose custody of the child as cheating is an obvious display of lack of morals/self control.
This would not only discourage selfish people from choosing to cheat in their marriage, but also possibly lower the violence rate against people that cheated as they would actually receive just punishment.
