If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
........and the second one DupliKate.
π︎ 75
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Remember Spider Pig from the Simpsons movie? I figured out his secret identity!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
The true identity of the mummy was...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
Mickey Mouse arrested for identity theft
He was charged with being Goofy
π︎ 14
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︎ Sep 20 2020
I sat next to a guy that looked identical to me.
π︎ 15
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︎ Aug 24 2020
My girlfriends dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one
She was mad, βWhat am I going to do with 2 dead dogs??β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
Did you hear about the Italian who committed identity theft?
Police say he was an impasta
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 19 2020
My kids were watching a show about identical twins re-united after being separated at birth, and in disbelief that they were wearing matching outfits when they met up.
I said, well, they do have the same genes.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
If you are taking a calculus exam, donβt sit between two identical twins.
Itβs very difficult to differentiate between them.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
Hi, Iβm an identity thief
My pronouns are you/yours
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
Murder is not a joke, Jim!
π︎ 766
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
What the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
π︎ 51
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
It's been a lifelong dream of mine to live in a house with my own clone. But the science has just come out that most people would hate dealing with someone identical to them.
I just don't think I can live with myself after hearing that.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
I repetitively hit my identical twin.
So I asked him, "why are you hitting yourself?"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
What do you call two boobs that are identical?
π︎ 971
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︎ Dec 26 2019
Sectional identity
π︎ 68
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
I kept cutting my sausage into smaller and smaller identical pieces.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 03 2020
My best friend couldnβt come out to the pub with me tonight so his identical twin came instead.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 08 2020
Can't argue with that!
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
My wife just gave birth to a set of identical twins. She named the first one Pete.
I named the second one Repeat.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 29 2019
LPT: When you are telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you say the entire joke.
Because it isnβt easy to tell them a part.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
I didn't mean to take too much of my anxiety medication
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said βif you need anything, Iβm Jill.β
Iβve never met anyone with a conditional identity before.
π︎ 71
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
my wife & i have been missing our dog
our dog recently passed & my wife has been crying alot, i tried to cheer her up by finding ourselves an identical dog. she screamed at me, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH 2 DEAD DOGS?"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
I love this
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jan 17 2020
What do you call it when a llama has an identity crisis?
Spit-Personality Disorder.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 29 2019
Hawaii used to be part of a group of 5 identical land masses.
The other four were called Hawhoii, Hawhereii, Hawhatii, and Hawhenii.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
What do you call when two persons with multiple identity disorder fall in love with each other
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 14 2019
I thought I dipped my tortilla chip into a bowl of cheese sauce, but it turned out to be honey mustard.
It was a queso mistaken identity.
π︎ 49
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
What do you call it when a woman copies anotherβs boob job?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
What do you call a sound moving away from you that is identical to another sound?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 15 2019
That got me laughing...
π︎ 699
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︎ Jan 09 2020
My brother and sister is going through a bit of an identity crisis.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 31 2018
What's the name of Kate's identical twin?
π︎ 122
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
I failed my calculus exam because I was seated in between two identical twins.
I couldnβt differentiate between them.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
When taking a calculus exam, make sure you donβt sit between identical twins.
Because itβs hard to differentiate between them.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 27 2018
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
It turns out that identity theft is a crime.
π︎ 53
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
I failed my calculus exam because I was seated next to two identical twins.
It was impossible to differentiate between them.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jul 17 2019
I failed my calculus exam in college because I was seated between two identical twins.
I couldnβt differentiate between them.
π︎ 227
π
︎ Jul 25 2018
My girlfriendβs dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, βWhat am I going to do with two dead dogs?β
π︎ 64
π
︎ Aug 13 2018
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