How do you know if thereβs an elephant under your bed,
Your nose is touching the ceiling
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
Theyβre all girls, otherwise theyβd be uncles!
π︎ 134
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
How do you know someone is a racist?
"They go VROOM VROOM VROOM"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
How do you know if a cow takes weed?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Do you know how coal turns into diamonds?
It coalapses underpressure!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Do you know how Moses makes his coffee?
Do you know how Moses makes his coffee?
Hebrews it.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
How do you let your Native American friend know he's welcome anytime?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"
Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."
π︎ 64
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
How do you know when itβs alpaca time?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
How do you know when itβs raining cats and dogs?
When you have to step over the poodles
π︎ 31
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
How do you know which star is the Christmas star?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Do you know how I escaped from Δ°raq?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How do you know if your love interest is into you?
Invite them to the gym. If they show up...
β¦
...then you know you're working out.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
A guy asks his friend, "Do you know how many people have died because of these masks?"
The friend replied, " No buddy".
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
How do you know wether a shoe is athletic or not?
Just run with it. It doesnβt matter.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
How do you know when someone can't hold their beer?
When they bring a coaster.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
Do you know how many bones I have in my hand?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
How do you know you're about to be ambushed by a crowe?
You'll hear a Russell in the bushes.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Do you know how I call my hoodie?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
Do you want to know how I got out of Iraq?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
How do you know if your son floats in water?
Just drop that boy and see.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
How do you know when a cat loves you?
When it thinks you're its pajamas!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
How do you know Jesus wasn't born in America?
They needed 3 wise men and a virgin
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
How do you know you're ready to become a dad?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
How do you know a toddler is rich?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
Do you know how badass lions are?
They became kings of the jungle without even living there
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
How do you know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One you see later the other you see after a while.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
How do you know all woodpeckers love heavy metal music?
Because theyβre all head bangers. (Credit to my 11 year old).
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
How do you know if someone has an iPhone?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
How do you know Rin Tin Tin's parents were Chinese?
Because they were Ma 'n' Da Rin.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
How do you know how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?
You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
π︎ 432
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
How do you know pirates prefer voluptuous women?
Theyβre always hollering βa vast bootie!!!β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
What do you call a rockstar that knows how to fight?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
How do you let birds know when you've refilled the bird feeder?
π︎ 108
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
How do you know Kermit didn't have asthma?
Because it's not wheezy being green.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
Do you know how to change a tire?
You could start with that shirt.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
I just asked my 14 yr old after he was talking the whole time while I was showing how to do something. βDo you know why god gave us two eyes and only one mouth?β
βBecause we donβt need depth perception with our mouths β was his technically correct answer
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jun 29 2019
Every time i drive over a railroad crossing I say there's been a train through here recently do you know how I can tell?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
How do you know if a product is made in Germany?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
How do you know when youβre in love with a robot?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
Do you want to know how I got out of Iraq?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Do you wanna know how I escaped Iraq?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They are all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles!
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
How do you know how heavy a chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
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