I came home to find my dishevelled bed was covered in razor wire, crocodiles and grand pianos!

You couldn't make it up.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/Flayan514
📅︎ Jul 13 2017
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Boss pulled a fridge cord out the other day

Was working on a high end home, just trying to hide a wire that went out to a wine cooler, and my boss accidentally pulls the cord out and says,

"Sorry fridge!"

Without skipping a beat, I reply,

"Don't worry, it's cool!"

I'm no dad, but he is, and he thought it was hilarious, and that he would tell his wife that one later.

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Mar 08 2016
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Wife was complaining that she needed a new bra, the underwire was poking through.

Wife: "I hate these underwires. I think I want to get a wire-less one next"

Me: "I can stop by Radioshack on my way home to pick you up one"

Wife: "What?"

Me: "Well I'm sure Victorias Secret doesn't carry WiFi bras."

Wife: Heavy sigh.

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/killboy
📅︎ Apr 24 2015
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